“I’m particularly fond of those,” he says,tracing the stitches above her eyebrow with his fingers. “So let’snot try that again.”

“Fuck off!”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“You’re a bastard!”

“That’s funny, princess,” he says. “Yourfather called me the same thing … before I shot him in theheart.”

Nazirah screams, throwing all of her weightonto Adamek and slamming her head into his face. He staggersbackward, but she holds onto him. She chokes him with one hand,digging her fingernails into his wounded shoulder with the other.The pain in her head is blinding and her stitches have reopened.Blood drips into her eye and she feels about to blackout, but allshe can think about is spilling the blood of Adamek Morgen.

Adamek hisses, wrenching her fingers awayfrom his shoulder. He pulls her off him. She lands hard on theground.

Nazirah jumps up and stands in front of him,gasping. She notices with satisfaction that his throat is coveredwith her claw marks. Nazirah glares, wiping blood from her eyes. Helooks angry, yes. He looks like he’s in pain, good. But he alsolooks relieved. Like he has proven something to himself. Like hewanted this to happen all along.

Was this his intention in the prison aswell? Had he wanted her to attack him, to fight him, to facehim?

The guilt that’s eating Nazirah up inside isstill there, but it’s different, somehow. She has finallyconfronted him. And somehow, she knows she won’t choke anymore.Somehow, she knows she can fight. And that’s a powerfulfeeling.

She hates him more than ever, but she’s alsograteful.

“Why?”

He rubs his throat and rotates his shouldergingerly. “You needed to be able to fight. You needed to letyourself fight.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.”

Nazirah sees the recognition in his eyes.“Don’t ask a question, if you don’t want to know the answer,” hesays.

“Why did you do it?” she cries angrily,tears streaming down her face. She is letting him see her cry, butshe doesn’t care. She doesn’t care at all. She holds her stomach inher hands, completely losing it. Then, she pulls hard on his shirt.“Tell me why!”

His gaze is distant. “There’s nothing I cansay that will bring them back. It was an order. I followed it. Endof story.”

“End of story?” she sobs, hoarse. “If onlymy story ended there!”

“I warned you not to ask.”

“I hate you,” she says, completely raw. “Ihate you so much.”

She walks away.

He lets her.

And she doesn’t realize, until much later,that she never asked him if he regrets it.

#

The next day, Nazirah makes excuses for whyshe never showed up to the party. She says she wasn’t feeling well,that she was swamped with extra work. And, thankfully, no onepushes the issue. When she shows up at the emergency room, earlySunday morning, even Bilungi says nothing. She only looks atNazirah staunchly, closing her reopened stitches.

Monday afternoon, Nazirah walks into thegymnasium to find three additions to the class. Nikolaus, Aldrik,and Adamek stand in a small circle with Grum, speaking privately.Nikolaus seems to be reassuring Grum, who looks even more irritatedthan usual.

The remaining recruits slowly file intoclass, glancing curiously at them. Even Lumi, normally so aloof,flashes them a troubled look.

Nazirah tries to ignore them completely,increasingly nervous. She’s sure Niko wants to observe combattraining to figure out exactly what’s wrong with her. But Nazirahalready knows what’s wrong with her. And, judging from the lividlook on Grum’s face, Niko’s good intentions will backfirespectacularly.

“What are they doing here?” whispersCato.

Nazirah shrugs her shoulders. She has noidea what excuse Nikolaus has given Grum, Aldrik, or Adamek. Shedoesn’t think Niko would tell them the truth … that he’s worriedhis baby sister is losing her mind.

“What are you all looking at?” Grum snarls,glancing around the room. “Get into formation!”

The class shuffles, hastily forming theirnormal semicircle. Adamek, Nikolaus, and Aldrik do not stand withthem, but rather lean against a nearby cement wall.

“Commander Nation, Morgen, and Slome haveasked to observe our class today,” Grum begins lecturing. “Iinitially protested, because many of us,” Grum shoots Nazirah apointed look, “are not yet where we need to be. However, theCommander insists. He wants to track your progress so that we cantarget and strengthen your weaknesses.”

Grum clearly doesn’t like Nikolausquestioning his methods or jurisdiction, and doesn’t believe hisreasons. Cato squeezes Nazirah’s hand reassuringly, probablythinking the exact same thing.

Nazirah suppresses a small smile, glances atAdamek. She hasn’t seen him since Saturday night. Nazirah hopesthat her newfound fighting ability holds, especially with herimpromptu, deranged teacher watching her every move.

“Elder Grigori, Mays, you’re up first.”

Grum checks two names off his clipboard.Lumi and Ansel tense, walk into the center of the circle, and beginfighting. Lumi seems unusually distracted. Nazirah cringes as Anselkicks Lumi hard in the shin, sending her sprawling to the ground.Lumi concedes, which Grum unusually accepts, and the fight isover.

It goes on like this for over an hour. Grumnames two recruits, they fight, and then the process starts overagain. It’s brutal to watch. It’s even worse to wait in nervousanticipation. Nazirah absentmindedly watches Cato battle Anzares.He intercepts her blows skillfully but doesn’t harm her.

Nazirah surveys the room, realizing thatshe’s the only one who hasn’t fought yet. Would Grum make someonefight twice? Or would she maybe not have to fight at all … Grum’spersonal way of sticking it to Niko?

Cato holds Anzares in a firm bind on thefloor, until finally she concedes and pushes him off her. Hereturns to his spot beside Nazirah.

“Nice job, Caal,” Grum says to him. “TheMedis will appreciate your tenderness.” Aldrik snorts and Catolooks perplexed. Grum returns to his list, lazily running a fingerdown the column of names. “Let’s see here, who do we have next? Ah,here we go. Nation, step forward.”

Nazirah walks slowly to the middle of theroom, looking around skeptically. Is Grum going to make her fightherself or something? That’s definitely the type of twisted schemehe would pull. Nazirah looks at Nikolaus for reassurance, but he isfocused on Grum. He looks angry, like he knows something isoff.

“Professor?”

“Yes, Nation?” asks Grum, setting down hisclipboard.

“We have an odd numbers of studentstoday.”

“Your powers of observation areastounding.”

“I don’t have a partner.”

“Thrilled as I am to see you taking aninterest in your training,” Grum says, cracking his knuckles, “youare, as usual, wrong.”

“Who am I fighting?” Nazirah asks.

“Me.”

The entire class gasps. Nazirah is supposedto fight Grum? She glances over at Niko, whose fists are clenched.Adamek looks unsurprised. Aldrik appears positively appalled.

“Professor!” Cato speaks up immediately,completely distraught. “I volunteer to fight Nazirah!”

“That’s very sweet, Caal,” Grum says,walking slowly towards Nazirah. “But I don’t think she will benefitfrom having her hair stroked to death. And besides, you’ve alreadyfought once today. We can’t have any favoritism here, can we?” Grumlooks pointedly at Nikolaus.

Panic rises in Nazirah’s chest. Grum isclearly mad that Niko has shown up unannounced in his classroom,questioning his authority, and that Nazirah has defied him forweeks. Now, he intends to teach both Nations a lesson. Nazirahglances again at Niko, but she knows his hands are tied. Grum hasset their fight up to seem coincidental. And if Nikolaus tries tointervene, it will look like he’s favoring his sister. Nazirahwatches Aldrik storm from the room. Her eyes settle on Adamek, whogives her a small, imperceptible nod.