When she opened them, everything was better. The bridge was clean and gleaming, the mess all taken care of. In front of the door blocked by the wall of scrambled egg sat the human crew and the three badger pirates. The badgers took off their helmets. Archibald waved at her with a hairy paw.

Beside him sat Thomas, the handsome man with the handlebar moustache. His uniform had charred and torn in a way which made him even more good-looking. Thomas tried to punch Archibald on the end of his wet black nose, but his fist struck what seemed to be an invisible wall of rubber, and bounced back to smack himself hard in the face.

'Oh yeah,' said the Doctor, still busy with what had once been a heap of guns. 'You want to look out for that. I've messed with your wall of electricity and now it's not going to kill you. But you'll stay in your individual little pockets of it until you promise to behave.'

'Promise!' said Archibald immediately.

The Doctor adjusted a control and Archibald scampered free, joining Martha and the Doctor at the computers.

'But that's not fair!' protested Captain Georgina, as if he'd confiscated her sweets.

'Life's not fair,' Martha told her. 'Didn't your mother tell you?'

'Doctor,' said Captain Georgina gravely, completely ignoring Martha. 'You must be aware that the penalty for hijacking a starship is summary execution.'

The Doctor didn't even look up from his work on the former guns. So Martha took it on herself to answer for them both. 'You already killed us,' she said. 'So I think we're even, yeah?'

The captain held Martha's gaze, her eyes blazing with purest fury. 'You,' said Captain Georgina. 'Will. Release. Me. Now.' She spoke so carefully, so calmly, with such menace that it gave Martha goose bumps.

'Sorry,' said the Doctor airily. He finished whatever he'd made from the guns and came round the side of the horseshoe of computers to address his prisoners. 'Look, we got off to a bad start before. You seemed to be under the impression that you lot were in charge.' He grinned. 'Now are you going to play nicely?'

Dashiel and Jocelyn both promised to behave and were duly released. The humans, taking their lead from Captain Georgina, sat where they were saying nothing. They looked, thought Martha, like a row of big sulky children.

'You're just going to leave them on the naughty step?' asked Martha.

'Have you got a better idea?' asked the Doctor, busy with his work.

'We could kill 'em,' suggested Dashiel.

'That is a possibility,' said the Doctor. 'But let's not, eh? Why don't you tell me how you three got in here? You've not got sonic screwdrivers, have you?'

'Nah,' said Dashiel. 'Archie told us what we 'ad to do.'

'Yeah,' said Archie proudly. 'You said. Vibrations.' He pronounced the last word carefully, like he was worried he might break it.

'Well, technically,' said the Doctor, 'it's resonance, but we'll let that pass. So what did you do?'

'Told Gabriel to make it vibrate,' said Jocelyn.

And he just did as he was told?' asked Martha. She had learnt Gabriel had a very literal mind, and you needed to ask him things precisely.

'Nah,' said Archibald. 'He din't. So we asked Mrs Wingsworth.'

'I see,' said the Doctor. 'Clever.'

'We 'ad to say "please" and "thank you",' explained Dashiel. 'But then she told the robot.'

'You see?' said the Doctor. 'You just have to ask nicely.'

'Yeah,' said Dashiel, his eyes full of wonder at this amazing strategy.

'So Gabriel, what, vibrated,' said Martha, 'and then you could all get through?'

'He made a thing like yours,' explained Dashiel, pointing to the Doctor's top pocket, where he kept the sonic screwdriver. 'Made from broken guns.'

'He's a smart cookie, that Gabriel,' said the Doctor. 'Your guns are full of all sorts of aiming and power accessories. You know what I've just made out of them?'

'No,' said Dashiel.

The Doctor showed them the peculiar hotchpotch of wires and circuits he'd been working on when they awoke. 'It'll be a Teasmade when it's finished.'

Martha wanted to laugh at the looks on the badgers' faces – they were so impressed with everything. And the Doctor just lived to show off the whole time, so they made the perfect audience.

'Do you even know what a Teasmade is?' she asked them.

'Er,' said Dashiel, 'no.'

'Makes tea?' asked Archibald.

'That's right,' said the Doctor.

'Tea is good,' Archibald explained to his comrades.

And if I can get the timer to work,' explained the Doctor, 'you can set it in advance. So you put it on before you go to bed and it wakes you in the morning with a fresh cup of tea.'

'But won't the guns just repair themselves when the loop works?' asked Martha.

'Maybe,' said the Doctor. 'But I'm hoping the ship will recognise that I've made them into something more useful.'

The badgers nodded, wide-eyed at this genius. Then Dashiel put out a hairy paw and touched the back of the Doctor's hand. 'We fort you'd been killed,' he said. He spoke gruffly, trying to cover up the real feeling in his voice. Despite everything they'd been through, despite all the pirates had done, Martha felt her heart go out to them.

'You came to rescue us,' she said.

'Yeah,' said Archibald. 'Kind of.'

'You came to avenge our deaths,' said the Doctor more sternly.

'Yeah,' said Dashiel.

'But you know better than that, don't you,' said the Doctor. 'Is revenge a good thing or a bad thing?'

'Good!' said Archibald with enthusiasm. Dashiel nudged him in the ribs. 'Er, bad,' said Archibald.

'But why?' said Martha to Dashiel and Jocelyn. 'Last time I saw you, you wanted me dead.'

'Yeah,' said Jocelyn. 'Sorry 'bout that.'

'But Archie said,' explained Dashiel. 'How you're good. How you let us eat the food.'

'An' we were bored,' added Archie. 'What?' he said, when Dashiel nudged him again.

'You're not really taking their side over ours, are you?' said Captain Georgina from over by the wall of scrambled egg. She had got to her feet and stood with her hands pressed against the invisible rubber wall, so that she looked like she was performing some not very ambitious mime. The humans were all beautiful, well-toned and glamorous, but imprisoned they all looked awkward and unsure, and a bit silly. 'They're stupid, clumsy animals,' Captain Georgina continued. 'And they smell disgusting.'

The badgers bristled. 'We're not stupid,' said Dashiel.

'Now, now,' said the Doctor to the captain, wagging his index finger at her. 'That's not very nice is it? Look where your airs and graces have got you so far.'

'What do you mean?' asked Captain Georgina. 'These things are made to be inferior.'

'Yeah,' admitted Dashiel, shrugging.

'I don't understand,' said Martha. 'You mean this lot made the badgers?'

'Well, not this lot specifically,' the Doctor told her. 'Your lot generally. Humans. You didn't think it odd what the badgers are wearing? Uniforms with a skull and crossbones. Human skulls. Shows who's really in charge.'

Martha couldn't believe her ears. 'You mean they're slaves,' she said. 'Like the mouthless men down in the engine rooms?'

'Oh, they don't call them slaves,' said the Doctor. 'But you need someone to do the dirty work for you. You get into space and it's no longer immigrants but Ood and Monoids and Vocs.' He gestured towards Captain Georgina and her staff. 'And then this lot are growing their own. Hands in the engine rooms who won't answer back and badgers to do all their thieving.'

'It's disgusting,' said Martha.

'We did not make the badgers!' Captain Georgina protested.

'No,' said the Doctor, darkly. 'But your species did. Some rival gang or faction from just down the street. Someone who's seen the war coming.'