What Nick had done was a hot lump of humiliation burning a hole in her stomach, but the despair choking the life out of her was worse. As she looked at both of her parents she knew it was no use. They would never understand. Never change. And she would never escape.

“Youve degraded yourself, and I can hardly stand to look at you, her mother continued.

“Then dont. You were going to take me to the University of Idaho in a week. Take me tomorrow instead. Delaney walked from the room, the weight of resignation settling about her shoulders. She moved up the stairs, her feet felt leaden, her heart empty, too drained to cry. She didnt bother to pull off her jeans before she crawled into bed. She stared up at the pink canopy above her head and knew she wouldnt be able to sleep, and she was right. Her mind raced with every dreadful detail of the past few hours. What her parents had said. What shed said, and how nothing ever changed. And no matter how hard she tried to avoid thoughts of Nick, her mind turned again and again to him. She remembered his hot touch, the cool silky texture of his hair through her fingers, and the taste of his skin. She closed her eyes and could practically feel his warm wet mouth on her breasts and lower. She didnt know why shed let him do those things to her. Shed had enough previous experience with him to know he could pass for pleasant one minute and turn mean as a snake the next. So why Nick Allegrezza of all people?

Delaney punched her pillow and turned on her side. Maybe because hed always been so free, and hed always fascinated her with his heavenly face and wild hellion ways. Maybe because he was so beautiful he took her breath away, and tonight hed made her feel like maybe she was beautiful too. Hed looked at her like a man who wanted to make love to a woman. Hed touched her as if he wanted her. But it had all been a lie. An illusion, and shed been a naive fool.

Ill give you something better than love , hed said. Im going to make you come . Why hed chosen that particular method she didnt know. But he couldnt have chosen anything more humiliating if hed had years to plan it. Hed stripped her naked while hed remained clothed. Hed touched her all over, and shed never even gotten a glimpse of his bare chest.

Her only consolation was that no one knew, not even Henry, exactly what had happened on the hood of Nicks Mustang. And unless Nick spoke of it, no one would ever know. Maybe her mother was wrong. Maybe no one would talk about it.

But Gwen had only been wrong about the amount of time it would take for the gossip to reach her. It was noon, not ten, the next day when Lisa called and told Delaney that someone had seen her and Nick at the Charm-Inn in the nearby city of Garden. Another had them running buck naked through Larkspur Park and having sex on the kiddie slide. And yet in a third, she and Nick had been sighted in the alley behind the liquor store, drinking tequila shooters and going at it in the backseat of his car.

Suddenly being sent away to college didnt seem so bad. The University of Idaho wasnt Delaneys first choice, but it was four hours from Truly. Four hours from her parents and their tight control. Four hours from the gossip blowing through town like a hurricane. Four hours from ever having to lay eyes on Nick or any member of his family.

No, maybe the U of I wouldnt be so horrible after all.

“If you get good grades and behave yourself, Henry told her on the drive to Moscow, “maybe well lighten your class load next year.

“That would really be great, shed said without enthusiasm. Next year was twelve months away, and she was sure shed do something in the interim to displease Henry. But she would try. Just like she always did.

She tried for one month, but her first taste of real freedom went straight to her head, and she pulled straight Ds her first semester. She lost her virginity to a wide receiver named Rex and got a job waitressing at Duckys Bar and Grill, which was more bar than actual grill.

The money from her job gave her even more freedom, and when she turned nineteen that February, she quit school all together. Her parents had been livid, but she didnt care anymore. She moved in with her first boyfriend, a weightlifter named Rocky Baroli. She sought higher education reading Rockys incredible pecs and adding up how many straight shots she could consume at the all-night parties she attended off campus. She learned the difference between a Tom Collins and a vodka Collins, between imported and home-grown.

Shed taken her new independence and shed run with it. Shed grabbed hold with both hands and taken a great big bite, and she was never going back. Shed lived as if she had to experience everything at once, before her freedom was snatched away from her. Whenever she thought back on those years, she knew she was lucky to be alive.

The last time shed seen Henry, hed tracked her down with the sole purpose of dragging her back home. By then shed dumped Rocky and had moved into a basement apartment in Spokane with two other girls. Henry had taken one look at the garage sale furniture, overflowing ash trays, and collection of empty booze bottles, and ordered her to pack her clothes. Shed refused and the confrontation had turned ugly. Hed told her if she didnt get in his car, he would disown her, forget she was his daughter. Shed called him a controlling pompous son of a bitch.

“I dont want to be your daughter anymore. Its too exhausting. You were always more dictator than father. Dont ever hunt me down again, were the last words shed spoken to Henry.

After that, whenever Gwen called her on the telephone, she made sure Henry was never home. Her mother visited Delaney occasionally in whichever city she happened to be living, but of course Henry never came with her. Hed been true to his word. Hed disowned Delaney completely, and shed never felt so free—free of his control, free to screw up her life with abandon. And sometimes she really screwed up, but in the process, she also grew up.

Shed been free to drift from state to state and job to job until she figured out what to do with her life. Shed finally figured it out six years ago when she enrolled in beauty school. After the first week, shed known shed found her niche. She loved the tactile sensations and the whole process of creating something wonderful right before her eyes. She had the freedom to dress outrageously if she wanted to, because there was always someone a little bolder than herself.

It may have taken Delaney longer than most to settle on a career, but at last shed found something she was good at and loved to do.

Being a stylist gave her the freedom to be creative. It also gave her the freedom to move when she began to feel trapped in one place, although she hadnt felt claustrophobic in a while.

Not until a few months ago when Henry had flexed his muscle one last time and left that appalling will, controlling her life once again.

Delaney picked up her boots and headed into the bedroom. She flipped on the light and tossed her boots toward the closet. What was wrong with her? What would make her kiss Nick out on a crowded dance floor in spite of their sordid past? There were other available men around. True, some were married or divorced with five kids, and none of them were as fine as Nick, but she didnt have a painful past with other men.

Nick the snake. Thats who he was, like that big python with the mesmerizing eyes in The Jungle Book , and she was just one more helpless victim.

Delaney looked at herself in the mirror above her dresser and frowned. Maybe if she werent so lonely and aimless she wouldnt be so susceptible to Nicks hypnotic charms. There had been a time in her life when aimlessness had been her goal. Not anymore. She was living in a town she didnt want to live in, working in a salon with no real intentions of success. Her only goals were to survive and aggravate Helen. Something had to change, and she had to change it.