He took a moment to answer. “Because I couldn’t have faced you if I failed. If I was too weak to stay on them. Even now, I don’t know. After those guys and then what happened back at the palace–”

“Stop,” I interrupted. “You’re doing the right thing. And what’s crazy is that you have no idea how strong and how brave you are. I’m so proud of you, and I’m going to help you through this. I love you so much.”

Loving him wasn’t a surprise. What was, however, was the realization that ultimately, that was all that mattered between us. I’d been trying to figure out what it was that was holding me back from sex. It wasn’t Jill. It wasn’t some physical threshold I was afraid to cross. There was nothing, nothing except an anxiety my love had banished to the winds. And standing there, in that improbable location, the full force of how much I wanted him nearly knocked me over. A desire that was as much spiritual as physical burned through me, and I suddenly felt as though there was no way I could go a moment longer without having all of him.

“Come on,” I said in a low voice. “Come back to my room.”

A fire in his eyes told me there was no need to spell things out. “You’re exhausted.”

“Says who?”

A voice shattered the spell weaving itself around us. “Ah, you’re still here,” exclaimed Mikhail, hurrying into the room. “Good. I hate to detain you further, but this stuff spreads, and the queen heard about what happened. She wants to talk to you, Adrian.” He gave me a kind look. “But you’re off the hook. I’ll walk you back so you can get some rest.”

I swallowed, momentarily unable to focus on anything except the electricity flaring between Adrian and me. I wanted to tell Mikhail to leave us alone because I needed to taste Adrian’s lips and run my hands over his skin. Instead, I said, “Thanks. That’s nice of you.”

Adrian gave me a rueful smile. “We’ll continue this conversation another time. When you’re wide awake.”

“I’ll be awake when you finish talking to the queen,” I told him. I didn’t trust myself to add anymore, but as Mikhail led me away, I gave Adrian a parting look that told him all the things I wanted to “talk” about.

CHAPTER 17

ADRIAN

I WAS THIS CLOSE TO IGNORING MY QUEEN and marching straight back to Sydney’s room. I’d read Sydney as clearly as if her aura had lit up in front of me. I knew what she wanted, and dear God, did I want it to.

But Mikhail’s stern face was kind of a buzzkill, and no matter how friendly we were, I was still Lissa’s subject. So I practically sprinted back to the palace, eager to give her a report and then run back to Sydney’s arms.

Unfortunately, Lissa had other plans.

“You’re leaving,” she said as soon as I walked in. Christian stood beside her, arms crossed over his chest, looking furious. “I heard what happened. The Alchemists will flip out when she reports back, and we’re going to do damage control now by getting her out of here as soon as possible–which means you and Neil have to go too.”

“Don’t worry,” said Christian. “I’ll finish what you started with those guys tomorrow.”

“Christian,” groaned Lissa, remarkably similar to how Sydney said my name when she was exasperated.

He threw up his hands. “What? Those guys deserve a hell of a lot more than they’re getting, and you know it, Liss.”

“I know that we have laws,” she said patiently. “And I have to uphold them.”

Christian said nothing, but our eyes met in a brief moment of solidarity. He might not know that I’d been driven by romantic feelings to defend Sydney, but I knew he was driven to fight against those who bullied others. He and I still had a lot to sort out between us, but just then, I took comfort in knowing Wesley and his asshole friends might find their clothing a little singed tomorrow.

“We got you a morning flight in Philly,” Lissa continued. “If you guys leave now, you’ll make it.”

All thoughts of fiery retribution vanished. Leave now? And abandon the privacy of Sydney’s room and a rare night together? I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Sydney and I were so close! So close to finally making that leap in our relationship. And there was no point of logic I could argue because what Lissa was suggesting was absolutely correct for an Alchemist in this situation–had Sydney been any other Alchemist.

“Neil won’t want to leave Olive,” I said lamely.

“Neil’s the least important piece in this right now,” said Lissa firmly. “Besides, he’s with Sonya. She’s monitoring him for side effects.”

And so, within an hour, we were on the road. Sydney drove again, and this time, I got to ride shotgun. Every once in a while, I’d dare a covert touch to her leg or arm when I thought Neil wasn’t looking. It’d make her smile, though she always kept her eyes on the road. I enjoyed those smiles, though none of us was thrilled about the abrupt departure. Neil truly hadn’t wanted to leave Olive. And Sydney and I hadn’t want to leave our sanctuary.

“It’s darker than I’d expect,” she remarked at one point. We’d left in evening, but heavy clouds had brought the night early.

“What’d the weather report say?” I asked. There’d only been light flurries at Court, but snow was steadily increasing the further we drove.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I forgot to check.”

I put my hand to my heart in mock horror. All joking aside, it was pretty out of character for her. “Sydney Sage not prepared? What is this world coming to?”

She smiled again. “I wasn’t the one who made these travel plans.”

“Good thing you’ve got me as a sidekick.” I took out my phone and felt my levity fade when I checked my weather app. “Shit. Blizzard warning for the mountains.”

“What? Why didn’t anyone tell us?” she exclaimed.

“They probably didn’t check either. Whoever booked the flight probably just made sure it was on time. I bet Philadelphia’s not getting this mess.”

Sydney’s face grew grave, and for the first time, I truly paid attention to the conditions we were in. I could barely see the road through the thick curtain of white coming down. She sighed. “One hour into a nearly three‑hour drive. Maybe we should turn around and wait this out. Any idea which direction the storm’s going?”

“Court’s at a lower elevation,” said Neil from the backseat. He probably wanted to get back to Olive. “Less snow and less twisty roads–”

Maybe it was ice on the road; maybe it was just all the snow. Maybe she was more tired than I’d thought. Whatever it was, she took a turn on the winding mountain road, and the car’s tires caught and slid, spinning us off toward the side. She screamed, and I just barely processed the pine tree before the car slammed into it and the air bags blocked my vision.

Time stopped having meaning. It seemed like both an eternity and a heartbeat before I was cognizant of my surroundings again.

It was my nightmare coming to life.

And in those seconds after the air bags deflated, when everything was still, all I could think was, Sydney is dead, and there’s nothing I can do.

I turned to her, my heart beating out of my chest, and saw her trying to unfasten the seat belt. “Thank God,” I breathed, reaching out to catch her hand. She squeezed mine, strong and confident. Remembering Neil, I was about to check on him when I heard him stirring in the back.

“Everyone okay?” he asked.

“Fine, I think,” Sydney said. “Maybe a little whiplash. Can’t say the same for the car.”

We got out to survey the damage. My legs felt weak, but it was mostly from the shock of what had just happened. I could see similar feelings on their faces, but thankfully, that was the worst of it. No real injuries. The car had hit a pine tree, crushing the front, but obviously not severely enough to crush us as well. I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about higher powers, but if one had had a hand in this, I was grateful.