I tightened my hold on her. “I know,” I said. “I know.”

CHAPTER 18

SYDNEY

IT TOOK TWO DAYS FOR THE ROADS to get cleared and for our transportation to be figured out. Both the Alchemists and the Moroi told us not to worry about the follow‑up on the rental and that we’d just get a new one since we couldn’t wait out the time for a body repair. I told them I wouldn’t feel right about abandoning the original car, since it was my fault it was wrecked, so I managed to drag out our stay while the shop sorted out the many vehicles it had retrieved that night. We were invited back to Court, but I also fought against that, telling the Alchemists I felt better in a human‑run inn. Naturally, they backed me.

Those two days were spent in a dream. Adrian and I might as well have been on our honeymoon. We saw Neil for breakfast, but he otherwise kept to himself in his room, leaving us to our own activities.

It wasn’t all  sex. Just mostly.

Adrian teased me that I was making up for lost time. Maybe I was, but I didn’t think so because I honestly couldn’t imagine having done it with anyone before him. There was nothing to make up for. I also couldn’t imagine how one‑night stands or any sort of emotionless sex worked. I knew people did it all the time, but it seemed like such a waste. With Adrian, every touch . . . every action between us . . . well, it was all enhanced by our love. How did people have sex without that? That was a question I had no interest in exploring.

Even when not having sex, we spent a lot of time in bed. I’d read or work on my laptop. He’d watch TV or sleep. He claimed I was exhausting, though he certainly never seemed to lack for energy during the act. As for me, I actually found sex invigorating. I was wired afterward. I felt like I could take on a hundred projects. I wanted to eat.

Reality finally called, however, and we had to return to our responsibilities in Palm Springs. Too many people needed us. Unlike that tension‑filled flight to Pennsylvania, our trip home was filled with contentment. It was a six‑hour afterglow. Adrian and I sat next to each other, burning with the bond between us, and even if we wanted to touch, we didn’t need to.

When we stepped outside the Palm Springs airport, warm desert air hit us, confirming once and for all that our winter paradise was gone. And within hours, I found myself slipping back into my former role. I was no longer the storm‑tossed heroine lost in her lover’s arms. I was Sydney Sage, Alchemist and caretaker, and I was back in business.

Adrian had to go back to his place and find out what he’d missed at Carlton, leaving Neil and me to return to Amberwood. Neil was quiet in the taxi, and I was finally able to give him my full attention. During our snowy interlude, I’d been far too distracted by Adrian and had written off Neil’s solitude as some personality quirk. Now, I could tell there was something troubling him.

“Everything okay?”

He dragged his gaze from the window. “Yeah, just thinking about a lot of stuff.”

“Olive?”

“Sometimes.” He started to smile, but it faltered. “Among other things.”

A panicked thought hit me. “Do you feel okay? You’re not having any side effects?”

“No. I’ve just got a lot to think about.” This time he did smile. “Don’t worry. You’ve already got plenty to keep you busy.”

For a moment, I wondered if he knew about Adrian. Was that why he was so pensive? He didn’t know what to do about us? But no, that was my own selfishness. My romantic escapade with Adrian had been the biggest thing in my life back there, but Neil had barely known we were in the inn with him. He had his own concerns, and after everything he’d been through, I could understand.

The taxi stopped at his dorm first, and he started to get out of the car. “Sydney . . .” He hesitated. “I know you’ll have to catch up on whatever’s going on, but there is something I want to talk to you about alone if you get a chance. Doesn’t have to be today. Just soon.”

“Sure,” I said. “We’ll make it work.”

It wasn’t until I was on my way to my dorm that I realized he might very well want to discuss how I’d created a blazing inferno in a blizzard. I’d known even then that it was foolish and dangerous, but those things had been trumped by the prospect of us freezing to death.

“Sydney!”

Zoe ran into my arms when I entered our room. For a moment, I worried something had gone wrong, but then I saw her face was radiant. “Things were great while you were gone! I mean, I missed you, but there were no problems. I made all the arrangements for Clarence’s, and Eddie even let me drive. Like, not just in parking lots.”

I’d started to open my suitcase and let the lid fall back down. “He did what?”

“It was only on the back roads between the highway and Clarence’s, so there was no problem.”

“Police can be anywhere,” I protested. “Accidents can happen anywhere.” Didn’t I know it.

“Everything was fine,” she said. “He even said I did a really good job. That I was a pro.”

Maybe I should’ve been pleased she was getting friendly with a dhampir, but I couldn’t. “I can’t believe Eddie of all people would do that. It’s irresponsible.”

She nodded. “He said you’d say that and that I should tell you, ‘At least it wasn’t Angeline.’”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed at that. “That’s true. He does have limits.”

Seeing me relax perked her back up. “Speaking of Angeline . . . can you believe she’d never had praline ice cream? I showed them that place you and I went to, and it was so funny. We were all trying not to stare, but it was impossible not to when her eyes were so big. She had three bowls and probably would’ve gone for four if we didn’t have to get back for curfew.”

I stared at Zoe’s sparkling eyes in amazement, overjoyed to hear her talking about hanging out with Jill and the dhampirs like she would ordinary human friends.

“Sorry,” Zoe said, mistaking my silence. “I haven’t even let you talk. How was everything? Anything big happen?”

Yes, most definitely.

“We’re waiting to see how it goes,” I said, returning to unpacking. “They injected Olive’s blood into Neil and have high hopes it’ll protect him from becoming Strigoi.”

“That was very brave of him,” she admitted.

I looked up from a shirt. “Why, Zoe, I think you just said nice things about dhampirs twice in the last five minutes.”

“Don’t get any ideas.” But she was smiling. “But . . . yeah, maybe they aren’t that bad. I mean, they’re not us, but they aren’t so bad to be around. It actually makes things easier, not hating them.”

“It certainly does,” I agreed. A spot of hope blossomed in me. Living with Zoe and her harsh Alchemist attitudes had been agonizing this last month or so. But could I blame her? Hadn’t I been the same? It had taken me a long time to come around . . . could she? Maybe in time, she’d get over trying to impress our dad and realize Moroi and dhampirs were just ordinary people. It was a heady thought, that we could actually be like sisters again and share the same rebel Alchemist philosophy. Maybe Marcus would eventually break her tattoo.

I kept those thoughts to myself, knowing I couldn’t jump ahead of myself. But it was hard not to be hopeful later when we ate dinner with the others and I saw that she no longer looked like she wanted to jump up and run away. Everyone was in good spirits until Jill’s eyes focused on something behind me, and she sighed heavily. I turned and saw two girls hanging a sign for the Valentine’s Dance.

“I wish I could go,” she said mournfully.

“Me too,” said Angeline.

“Well, why don’t you?” I asked.

Jill gave Neil a sidelong look. He was off in his own world. “There’s no one to go with,” she said. Angeline nodded in agreement.