I brought my face a mere whisper from hers. “I love you so much.”

She blinked in that way I’d come to recognize, when she was afraid she might cry. “I love you too. Hey.” She slid one of her hands up and rested it on my cheek. “Don’t look like that. Everything’s going to be okay. The center will  hold.”

“How do you know?”

“Because we are the center.”

CHAPTER 20

SYDNEY

I SAT BACK ON MY KNEES AND SURVEYED MY WORK. One gallon of the ink that could help free other Alchemists tired of being controlled by our superiors. It would change the way Marcus carried out his missions. It would change everything.

The power of that realization with Marcus was part of why I’d agreed to Neil’s madness. It was another chance for a monumental discovery. I’d followed up on the Los Angeles Strigoi in question with Alchemist reports and found that Neil’s assumptions were right. All signs indicated this Strigoi worked in a very specific territory and usually worked alone. The prevailing theory was that it must be a newly turned one. Although they weren’t the best at organization, experienced Strigoi knew the power they had in groups. If this one was a beginner, so much the better for us. I just hoped two dhampirs and a fire‑wielding witch were enough to take this one out.

But I was fully aware that something could go wrong, and that was why I hadn’t told Adrian. I hated  that. I knew relationships fell apart all the time because someone was stupid and withheld a vital piece of information. When I’d gotten involved with him, I’d sworn I’d never do that. And yet, I also knew a couple things would happen if Adrian knew our plans. One was that he’d want to come. The other was that if something went wrong, if one of us was hurt–or, God forbid, killed–he would never forgive himself for not being able to perform a healing. I’d seen it in his face, both before and after the pills. Maybe the rush of spirit had been addictive, but it was being powerless to help others that truly tormented him. I couldn’t let him face that.

My last reason for keeping him out of it was purely selfish: I couldn’t risk anything happening to him.

Things fall apart.

I knew Adrian’s words were just part of his contemplative, metaphysical moods. They haunted me nonetheless, maybe because I understood what he was saying. There was a perfection to what we had, even if it was all in stolen moments, and at times, it did seem as though we were dancing on a razor’s edge that we’d inevitably plummet over. As I contemplated my task with Neil and Eddie, I wondered bitterly if this would be what broke Adrian and me. We worried so much about getting caught by others. Maybe things would fall apart because I was running off on some foolish and noble task.

The center cannot hold.

I sighed and stood up. There was nothing to be done now. I was resolved to do this thing. Sydney Sage really was the reckless one.

Back in my dorm room, I found Zoe finishing up her homework. Things had eased up a little since our birthday fight last night, but tension still hung heavy between us. “Hey,” I said, taking off my coat.

“Hey,” she replied. “Finish your work for Ms. Terwilliger?”

I ignored the accusatory tone. “Yup. The big project’s pretty much wrapped up, so I should have some more time.” I thought that would please her, but she still looked sullen, so I tried another approach. “Want a cupcake?” I’d brought home leftovers and told her they were from Spencer’s, which kept a well‑stocked pastry cabinet.

Zoe shook her head. “Too many calories. Besides, it’s almost dinnertime.”

“Are you going to eat with us?” I asked hopefully. Like me, she’d made some human friends and sometimes preferred them to the Moroi gang.

I saw her hesitate and then finally give me a tentative smile that filled me with hope. “Sure.” She wanted us to be sisters. But like me, she wasn’t sure how to make it work.

Someday, I thought. Someday I’ll fix everything. Adrian, Zoe. Life will be easy again.

She perked up a little when we went downstairs and I told her she could take the car out tonight to practice her turns. For the first time in a while, I was staying at school for the evening, so she might as well get her chance with the Mazda. Admittedly, it was a little hard to yield the car after what Adrian and I had done last night. The memories washed over me, and even now, my breath caught. The moonlight, his touch. I’d never look at that car the same way, but my sentimentality wasn’t enough to keep it from Zoe.

In the cafeteria, we found a weird atmosphere settling around my friends’ table. Jill was the only one semi‑upbeat, largely because she’d found a date to the dance. A friend of her ex, Micah, was going to go with her. “It’s just platonic,” she said, giving Neil a meaningful gaze. “But it’ll be fun to have a chance to get out of the uniform for a change. And it’s here, so no real security problems.”

Neil nodded, but it was obvious to me that he hadn’t heard a word she’d said. Eddie also seemed checked out, which was surprising since even though he denied wanting Jill, he usually had some problem with the guys she went out with. Both he and Neil wore mirrored expressions of preoccupation now, and an alarm went off in my head that something had happened. When I’d seen them yesterday, both had certainly had our trip to LA on their minds, but they hadn’t looked this glum. I wondered if maybe some enterprising guardian had taken out our “easy” Strigoi.

The last piece of this drama was Angeline. She was making no effort to hide her suspicion. Adrian had told me how she’d come over to his place yesterday, and I watched as she leveled glares at me and the guys. As distracted as she got, I never would’ve guessed she’d be the one to pick up on subtle clues. Even now, despite her watchfulness, she’d occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd’s pie wasn’t a pie at all and why it was pointless to take a class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us.

When she started going off on the cafeteria’s carrot cake and how cream‑cheese frosting should be considered cheese spread instead of frosting, I couldn’t take it anymore. I took my empty tray and stood up to get a water refill. It wasn’t a surprise when Eddie joined me across the room.

“What happened?” I asked. “Is Angeline still critiquing the carrot cake?”

“No, she’s moved on to baking in general and whether it’s best to frost before or after something’s cool.” He sighed. “But I’m guessing you know there’s more than that going on.”

“Bring it.”

“We just saw some guardian reports about a Strigoi gang that’s been moving down the coast. Everyone’s pretty sure they’re going to end up in Los Angeles.”

I immediately picked up on the subtext. “And you’re worried they’ll join up with your guy.”

He nodded. “I mean, we don’t know for certain,  but it’s a new variable to deal with. Part of what made this idea kind of not crazy was that other Strigoi activity had been low in the area.”

“So what are we going to do?” His dismay began to spread to me.

“Neil and I think we should go tomorrow. The other Strigoi shouldn’t be there yet, and it’s a Friday. We know this guy likes club goers.”

I groaned. “Zoe and I are supposed to celebrate my birthday. If I cancel . . . God, Eddie. It’s going to be ugly. Things are bad between us.”

His expression turned kind, but there was steel in his eyes. “This may be our only chance.”

Turning from him, I stared across the cafeteria. Neil had left, and Zoe was standing up, no doubt off to take the car out. Angeline was already eagerly leaning toward Jill, and I wondered if there’d be more talk of conspiracy theories. Or maybe cake. Or robot companions.