"Piddly little Test?" said Fishlegs indignantly. "What do you mean, piddly little Test??? The Thor'sday Thursday Festival is the biggest event of the year. EVERYBODYwho is ANYBODYwill be there, all the Hairy Hooligans ANDthe Meatheads. Plus, this may not seem important to YOU, but anybody who fails this piddly little Test gets put into exile to get eaten up by cannibals or something equally gruesome."
"I'm going to call myself HICCUP THE USEFULand his dragon TOOTHFULL,"said Hiccup,
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beaming. "I thought of it just now and I'm really pleased with it. It's solid, dependable, not too flashy and not too much to live up to."
"This reptile finally got his act together and caught some fish," said Fishlegs, pointing at Toothless, who was picking his nose with one claw. "Incredible though it may seem, Hiccup may pass this Test after all."
"Oh, I think it's almost a certainty," said Old Wrinkly, looking at Toothless, who was now attempting to cross his eyes and was falling down in the process.
"Al-most," repeated Old Wrinkly thoughtfully.
And the boys went home, with Toothless following behind them whining, "Ok C-C-CARRY ME, CARRY ME ... it's not f-f-fair ... my wings ache...."
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Chapter 10 THOR'SDAY THURSDAY
The Thor'sday Thursday Celebrations were a truly spectacular occasion. The Hairy Hooligans' fierce rivals, the Meatheads, from the nearby Meathead Islands, sailed across the Inner Ocean to the Isle of Berk for this great gathering.
The visitors set up camp in Black Heart Bay, which turned overnight from an empty desert of echoing seagulls into a bustling village of tents made out of sails too patched to be used at sea anymore.
By the next morning the Long Beach was packed with stalls and jugglers and fortune tellers. There was a happy confusion of Vikings spotting old friends, and practicing their sword play, and yelling at the children to stop hitting each other RIGHT NOW for Thor's sake no I REALLY MEAN IT this time . . . or ... or ... or .. . ELSE.
Vast Viking men sat on uncomfortable rocks
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[ WELCOME TO THE THOR'SDAY THURSDAY CELEBRATION
Program of events
9:00 Hammer-throwing for the Over-GOs only.
Meet up at the Marooner's Rock with your own hammer or somebody else's (hard hats essential for spectators).
10:30 How Many Gulls' Eggs Can You Eat in One Minute?
11:30 Ugliest Baby Contest
Baggybum the Beerbelly is the defending champion in this hotly contested competition.
12:30 Axe-fighting DisplayAdmire the delicate art of fighting with axes.
2:00 Young Heroes Final Initiation Test
Watch tomorrow's Viking Heroes as they compete
Whose dragon will be the most obedient, and whose will catch the most fish? Blood, teeth, loud yelling -this sport has everything;
3:30 Grand Raffle and Closing Ceremony]
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guffawing loudly like gigantic sea lions in a holiday mood. Impressively large Viking women huddled in groups cackling like seagulls and downing whole mugs of tea in one swallow.
Despite Old Wrinkly's gloomy forecasts of terrible storms and typhoons, it was a gloriously hot June day with not even a hint of a cloud in the offing.
The Young Heroes Final Initiation Test would not start until 2 P.M. that afternoon, so Hiccup spent the morning listening round-eyed to storytellers telling tall tales of Dirty Danes and pirate princesses.
He was sick with nerves, so he found it difficult to enjoy the occasion as much as he had in previous years.
Even Gobber throwing up during the How Many Gulls' Egg You Eat in One Minute?
competition failed to raise more than a faint smile on his pale, tense face.
Hiccup's family had a picnic lunch overlooking the Axe-fighting Display. Hiccup could not eat a thing, and nor, unusually, could Toothless, who was in a difficult mood and turned his nose up at the tuna sandwich Valhallarama offered.
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"Good to keep your dragon's appetite sharp for the game," boomed Stoick the Vast, who was in an excellent mood. He had won a bet on Goggletoad in the Ugliest Baby Contest and was looking forward to seeing his son's brilliant display during the Initiation Test.
As the day wore on, a hot wind suddenly started blowing out of nowhere. It was still sweltering, but ominous gray clouds were gathering on the horizon. There was the odd rumble of thunder in the air.
Maybe Old Wrinkly had been right,thought Hiccup as he gazed upward, and Thoris going to put in his traditional appearance at the Thor'sday Thursday celebrations.
"P-P-P-P-A-R-P!Will all youths hoping to be initiated into the Tribes this year please make their way to the ground at the left of the beach."
Hiccup gulped, nudged Toothless, and stood up. This was it.
Hiccup was one of the last to get to the ground, which was a large area of wet sand just at the edge of the sea. The boys from his own Tribe were already assembled, their dragons hovering a couple of feet above them.
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Everybody was chattering excitedly, and even Snotlout was looking nervous.
The Meathead boys and their dragons seemed to be gigantic, rough-looking customers, far tougher than the Hooligans. One in particular was a great hulking brute of a boy, who looked fifteen at least.
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Hiccup presumed he was Thuggory, Chief Mogadon the Meathead's son, because a silver-gray Monstrous Nightmare about three feet tall was perched on one of his shoulders. It was looking at Fireworm like a rottweiler thinking evil thoughts.
Fireworm acted unconcerned.
"An aristocrat never growls," purred Fireworm sweetly. "You must be one of those mongrel Nightmares. We pure greenbloods descended from the great Ripperclaw himself would never dreamof doing anything so common."
The silver Nightmare's growling increased in volume.
The crowd was assembling at the touchline. Hiccup tried not to notice Stoick the Vast blasting his way to the front with great cries of, "Out of my way, I'm a CHIEF."
"TEN TO ONE MY SON CATCHES MORE FISH THAN YOUR SON IN THIS TEST,"
boomed Stoick, giving his old enemy Mogadon the Meathead a good prod in the stomach.
Mogadon the Meathead narrowed his eyes and wondered whether to hit him. Maybe AFTER the Test.
"And which," asked Mogadon the Meathead, "is
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your son? Is he the tall one who looks like a pig with the skeleton tattoos and the red Monstrous Nightmare?" "Nope," said Stoick happily.
"That's my brother Baggybum's son. MY SON is that skinny
one over there with the Toothless Daydream." Mogadon the Meathead broke into a big smile. He slapped Stoick, on the back and yelled, "I TAKE YOUR BET AND DOUBLE IT!" "DONE!" shouted Stoick, and the two great
chieftains shook hands and bumped bellies on the bet.
Gobber the Belch was in charge of this final stage of the Initiation Test. He was still looking a bit green from his unpleasant experience in the How Many
Gulls' Eggs Can You Eat in One Minute? competition.
This had not improved his temper.
"ALL RIGHT, YOU 'ORRIBLE LOT!" yelled
Gobber. "This is where we find out if you are the stuff that Heroes are made of. You will either walk out of this arena full members of the noble Tribes of Hairy
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Hooligans and Merciless Meatheads OR go into miserable exile forever from the Inner Isles. Let's see which it's going to be, shall we?"
He grinned nastily at the twenty boys standing before him.
"I shall begin by inspecting you and your animals, as if you were warriors about to go into battle. I shall introduce you to the watching members of the Tribes you hope to enter. Then the Test will begin. You will demonstrate how you have asserted yourselves over these wild creatures and tamed them by the sheer force of your Heroic Personalities.