Fishlegs whistled. "He's awake all right," said Fishlegs. "Here we go."
Hiccup opened the basket.
The smoke billowed out and made Hiccup and Fishlegs cough. Hiccup fanned it away. Once his eyes had stopped watering he could make out a very small, ordinary dragon looking up at him with enormous, innocent, grass-green eyes.
"Hello, Toothless1," said Hiccup, in what he hoped was a good accent in Dragonese.
"What are you doing?" asked Fishlegs curiously. Dragonese is punctuated by shrill shrieks and popping
[Footnote: 'This should, of course, read "Howiieeliooiieetiere, Toothless," but I have translated it into English for the benefit of those readers whose Dragonese is a bit rusty. Please read Hiccup's book, Learning to Speak Dragonese,for a crash course in this fascinating language.]
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[ Learning to speak Dragonese
Introduction
In ORDER train your dragon without using the traditional methods of yelling at it, you must first learn to speak dragonese . Dragons are the only other creatures who speak a languages as complicated and sophisticated as humans
Here are some common dragon phrases to get you started
Nee-an crappa inna di hoosus pishyou
No pooing inside the house please
Mi Mana no likeit yum yum on di bum
My mother does not like to be
Bitten on the bottom
Fishyou keendle gobha oot mi freeundlee?
Please would you be so kind as to spit my friend out?
Doit a wummortime
Let's try that again]
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noises and sounds MOST extraordinary when spoken by a human.
"Just talking to it," mumbled Hiccup, very embarrassed.
"Just talkingto it???" gasped Fishlegs, in astonishment. "What do you mean,you're talking to it? Ifou can't talk to it, it's an ANIMAL, for Trior's sake!"
"Oh shut up, Fishlegs," said Hiccup, impatiently, "you're frightening it."
Toothless huffed and puffed and blew out some smoke rings. He inflated his neck to make himself look bigger, which is something dragons do when they are scared or angry.
Eventually he got up the courage to unfurl his wings and flap up onto Hiccup's arm. He walked his way up on to Hiccup's shoulder and Hiccup turned his face toward him.
Toothless pressed his forehead onto Hiccup's forehead and gazed deeply and solemnly into Hiccup's eyes. They stayed there, snout to nose, without moving, for about sixty seconds. Hiccup had to blink a lot because the gaze of a dragon is hypnotic and gives the unnerving feeling that it is sucking your soul away.
Hiccup was just thinking, "Wow, this is amazing --
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I'm really making contact here!" when Toothless bent down and bit him on the arm.
Hiccup let out a yelp and threw Toothless off him. "F-f-flsii," hissed Toothless, hovering in the air in front of Hiccup. "W-w-w-want fish HOW!"
"I haven't got any fish," said Hiccup in Dragonese, rubbing his arm. Luckily Toothless didn't have any teeth, but dragons have powerful jaws so it was still painful. Toothless bit him on the other arm. "F-F-F-FISH!" said Toothless again.
"Are you okay?" asked Fishlegs. "I can't believe I'm asking this, but what's he saying?"
"He wants to eat," replied Hiccup, grimly rubbing both arms. He tried to make his voice sound firm but pleasant; to dominate the creature by the sheer force of his personality, as Gobber had said. "But WE HAVE N0 FISH."
"Okaythen," said Toothless. "Eat e-c-cat."
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He made a lunge for Fiddlesticks, who streaked up the nearest wall with a yowl of terror.
Hiccup just managed to grab Toothless by the tail as he flew off in pursuit. The dragon struggled wildly, shouting "WABT F-F-FISH BOW! WABT F-F-FOOD NOW! CATS ARE TOMMX WABT FOOD BOW!"
"We don't HAVE any fish," repeated Hiccup, from between gritted teeth, feeling all his calmness deserting him, "and you can't eat tie cat- I like him."Fiddlesticks mewed indignantly from a beam high up in the roof.
They put Toothless in Stoick's bedroom, where there was a mouse problem.
For a while he was happy swooping after the desperately squeaking mice, but then he got bored and started attacking the mattress.
"STOP!" yelled Hiccup as feathers flew in all directions.
Toothless replied by throwing up the remains of a recently deceased mouse right in the middle of Stoick's pillow.
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"Aaaargh!" said Hiccup.
"AAAAAAARGH!" said Stoick the Vast, who entered the room at that very moment.
Toothless launched himself at Stoick the Vast's beard, which he mistook for a chicken.
"Get him off!" said Stoick.
"He doesn't do what I say," said Hiccup.
"Yell VERY LOUDLY at him," Stoick shouted, YERY LOUDLY.
Hiccup yelled as loudly as he could. "Please will you stop eating my father's beard?"
As Hiccup had suspected, Toothless took absolutely no notice whatsoever.
I KNEW I'd be useless at yelling,thought Hiccup gloomily.
"DROPTOTHEFLOORYOUORRRIBLELIT-TLEREPTILE!" yelled Stoick.
Toothless dropped to the floor.
"You see?" said Stoick. "That'show to deal with dragons."
Newtsbreath and Hookfang, Stoick's hunting dragons, came padding into the room. Toothless stiffened as they paced around him, their yellow eyes glinting evilly. Each was about the size of a leopard, and
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they were as delighted by his arrival as a couple of giant cats might be by that of a cute little kitten.
"Greetings, fellow firebreather," hissed Newtsbreath as he gave the wriggling newcomer a sniff.
"We must wait," purred Hookfang menacingly, "until we are alone and then we can give you a proper welcome." He gave a vicious swipe at Toothless with one paw. A claw like a kitchen knife just nicked Toothless on the rump and the little dragon howled and jumped into Hiccup's tunic, until only his tail was poking out of the neck.
"HOOKFANG!" bellowed Stoick.
"My claw slipped," whined Hookfang.
"GEDDOUTOFHEREBEFOREIMAKEYOUIK-TOHANDBAGS!" yelled Stoick, and Newtsbreath and Hookfang slunk out, muttering obscene dragon curses under their breaths.
"As I was saying," said Stoick the Vast. "THAT'S how to deal with dragons."
Stoick was looking at Toothless with uncharacteristic anxiety.
"Son," said Stoick, hoping there might be some sort of mistake, "is this dragon yourdragon?"
"Yes,father," Hiccup admitted.
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"It's very . . . well. . . it's very . . . SMALL, isn't it?" said Stoick slowly.
Stoick was not an observant person but even hecould not fail to notice that this dragon really wasremarkably small.
"... and it hasn't got any teeth."
There was an awkward silence.
Fishlegs came to Hiccup's rescue.
"That's because it's an unusual breed," said Fishlegs. "A unique and . . . er . . . violent species called the Toothless Daydream, distant relations of the
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Monstrous Nightmare, but far more ruthless and so rare they are practically extinct."
"Really?" Stoick surveyed the Toothless Daydream doubtfully. "It looks just like a Common or Garden to me."
'Ahhh, but with respect, Chief," said Fishlegs, "that's where you're WRONG. To the amateur eye and, indeed, to its prey, it looks exactlylike a Common or Garden. But if you look a little closer the characteristic Daydream marking" -- Fishlegs pointed to a wart on the end of Toothless's nose -- "marks it out from the more ordinary breed."