“Hey,” I say as I approach Benny. “Your brother come through for us?”

“Nope. Wasn’t home. And he didn’t answer my texts. Sorry, man.”

“That’s all right. I’m so tired, probably would have just put me to sleep anyway.”

We unfold the chairs and settle in. I take a deep breath, filing my lungs with the clean, fresh air that smells like earth and pine trees.

“Guess who I ran into in the parking lot after practice?” I say.

“Man, if you tell me the Hulk came by and I missed him, I’m gonna be really pissed.”

I laugh, because neither one of us will ever get tired of bringing the Hulk into our conversations.

“Not the Hulk. Meghan Cooley. It was kind of ridiculous how she was throwing herself at me.”

“Oh no. Hell no. You gotta stay focused on football.”

“Wait a minute. At least half the players on our team have girlfriends right now. If they can do both, why can’t I?”

“Because they’re better football players than you, that’s why.”

I pick up a small stick and throw it at him. He catches it and throws it right back. “You’re just jealous,” I say.

“You know she’s not my type. Look, I just think it’s hard enough for you right now. Don’t add one more thing to the

mix. Get through the season, you know?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry. I told her to get lost in the nicest way possible. It was not a pretty scene. I’ll spare you the details.”

“Well, good. No girls, Pynes. That’s your motto. Got it?”

“So you probably don’t want to hear I’m bringing a girl to the creek party tomorrow.”

He shakes his head. “I’m telling you, a girl will just complicate your life, man. You don’t need that.”

“Maybe a girl would give me something else to think about besides football. I get sick of thinking about it all the time. Don’t you?”

He leans back, puts his head in his hands. “Nah. Football is my escape. It’s the rest of the shit I get tired of thinking about.”

25

Lauren

The only
bathing suit I have
is an ugly yellow
one-piece
that’s two years old.
It hardly even fits.
Saturday morning
I’m trying to pretend
my aunt doesn’t think
I’m a teenage delinquent
as I think about asking
if she has one
I can borrow.
She’s tall and thin, like me.
I wish 
       I hadn’t heard them talking.
I wish 
       I was a person they could be proud of.
I wish 
       I had money so I could buy my own stupid suit.
Maybe I shouldn’t go.
I could call Colby and tell him I’m sick.
Puking my guts out.
So sick I might be dying.
The truth is,
every day,
I feel like I’m dying inside
a little bit more.
I wish
       I hadn’t messed up.
I wish
       it hadn’t ever happened.
I wish
       we were all together again.
Henry and Demi barge
into my room
and beg me to play
blocks with them.
Today, I can play with
the little kids
or I can play
with the big kids.
I remember
          Colby’s kind eyes and friendly smile.
I remember
           how he said he liked my bike.
I remember
           how he made me feel for five short minutes.
The big kids win.
I ask Aunt Erica for a suit.
She gives me a white bikini.
I put it on underneath
my shorts and T-shirt.
I’ve never been to a
creek party before.
Maybe people don’t even swim.
Just in case, I want to be ready.
I remember
           swimming with my friends at the pool.
I remember
            flirting with boys and having fun.
I remember
            days when I felt alive and happy
and
    I wish
         I could feel like that again.

26

Colby

When lauren greets me at the door, I almost fall over. I knew she was good-looking, but I didn’t remember her being this good-looking.

I tell myself not to stare, but man, it is hard not to.

She’s wearing a T-shirt and shorts, but a swimsuit strap tied around her neck tells me she has a suit on underneath. Her curly red hair falls around her shoulders, and her green eyes light up as she says, “Hi! Let me grab my bag and I’ll be right out.”

“Sounds good.”

As I move toward my truck, Mr. McMann steps through the open garage door. “Hi, Colby,” he says, extending his hand. “Good to see you. Thanks for inviting Lauren to go along with you today.”

“No problem. Should be fun.”

Lauren comes scurrying out with a beach bag over her shoulder. “I’ve got a towel, sunscreen, and sunglasses. Anything else I need?”

“Nope,” I tell her. “I think you’re good to go.”

“Should we expect you for dinner?” Mr. McMann asks Lauren.

“I don’t know.” She looks at me. “What time do you think we’ll be home?”

“I’ll have her home by six,” I tell him.

“Perfect. Have fun and drive safe!”

“Bye,” she says as we hop into my truck. I wave and pull out of the driveway.

Once we’re down the street, she leans her head back on the seat. “I can’t tell you how good it feels to be getting out of there and going somewhere.” She looks at me. “Other than the Jiffy Mart, I mean.”

“Really? You’re tired of the Jiffy Mart? But there’s so much to see and do. It doesn’t get much better than corn dogs, hot and ready to eat.”

“What is it with boys and corn dogs?” she asks. “My convenience store meal of choice is nachos. You just can’t go wrong with chips and processed cheese.”

I point behind us, to the bed of my truck. “I brought along some sodas and snacks, but unfortunately, no nachos. I did get some Bugles for you, though.”

“You did?” she says as she claps her hands together.

“I have never seen a girl get so happy about a snack food.”

“Yeah, I admit, it’s kind of insane how much I love those things.”

“So, tell me something else you love. Because so far our conversations have been focused on food. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely like to eat, but I’m thinking there’s got to be more to you than Bugles.”


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