I look at him. “I can’t think about that, Dad. I got enough going on without thinking about that too.”

“Well, you need to find that commitment your coach wants to see somehow. Do you want to let him down?”

“No.”

“What about your team? Do you want to let them down?”

I sigh. “No.”

He stands up. “What time do you work tomorrow?”

“Uh, noon to five. Why?”

“You take your gear, and you meet me at the field after work.”

I stand up. “I can’t. I have a date.”

He picks up the remote and turns off the television. “That’s right, you do. With me. On that football field. No girls right now, Colby. Do you hear me? You said it yourself. You’ve got enough going on.”

“But, Dad —”

“No. I’m not gonna back down from this. This is for your own good. You have to trust me on this. We need to get your head in the right place, and right now, that means more time on the field and less time thinking about other things. Like the opposite sex.”

I can’t believe this is happening.

He slaps my shoulder. “After we run some plays, you and I will go out for dinner. How’s that? I know, we’ll go to Fresh Grill. Haven’t been there in ages. Get one of their big, juicy burgers, huh? I’ll tell Gram and Grandpa not to expect us tomorrow night. We’ll have a fun night out, just you and me. Like the old days.”

He pulls me into a hug. Squeezes me hard. I stand there,  like a board. “I love you,” he says. “Don’t forget that. I know you’re not happy with me right now, but this is the way it has to be.” He pulls away and holds both of my shoulders with his hands. “Just for a few months. That’s all. Okay? If this girl has any decency about her, she’ll understand. And she’ll wait.”

I swallow hard.

“Good night,” he says as he turns to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Five fifteen. Ready to play.”

Benny’d probably say I need to grow a pair and tell my dad where to go when he gets like that. But I can’t. Because the thing is, I know my dad thinks what he’s doing is for the best. Yeah, it’s kind of tough love, but it’s love all the same.

When you get down to it, he’s right. I did play a pathetic, sloppy game. I had one good play, where I got lucky, and that’s it. I love my team and I’d do anything for them. Like, I would never screw up on purpose, but I wonder if deep down, there’s a part of me that realizes if I play poorly, my problem about whether I play football or not next year is easily solved.

I don’t know. But I’m gonna do what my dad tells me to do because that’s what I’ve always done. It’s been him and me for  so long, I don’t know any other way.

On my way to work Saturday, I stop off at King’s Doughnuts, hoping she’s already started her shift. When I walk in, she’s busy helping someone, so she doesn’t see me. When I finally catch her eye, I smile and she smiles back.

All I can think is, Please don’t let her hate me for this.

When the customer is done, I step up to the counter.

“Hi,” I say.

“Hi. Can I get you something? A maple bar maybe? Or are you an apple fritter kind of guy?”

“I’ll take two of those pumpkin spice,” I tell her.

She raises her eyebrows. “Really? Well, what do you know, a guy after my own heart. Those are my favorite.”

As she bags up my doughnuts, all the nervous feelings I felt last night come rushing back. It’s crazy how much nerve it took to ask her out and now I have to find even more, except this time, there’s nothing good waiting at the end of it all.

She hands me the bag, and I give her a five-dollar bill.

“Lauren, I have some bad news.”

As she gives me my change, her smile disappears. “Oh no. Is it Benny?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just, I have to cancel. I can’t make it tonight. Something’s come up. I’m really sorry.”

“Oh. Right.” She crosses her arms. “I’m sorry too.” She pinches her lips together like she’s deciding if she should say more. I wait, because I don’t know what else to say. “Can we reschedule?” she asks.

God, I want to say yes. I almost say yes. But what am I gonna do, lie and sneak around behind my dad’s back? I can’t do that. Besides, maybe they’re right. Maybe Benny and my dad are right. Too many distractions, and I can’t focus. I don’t want to let my team down. It was too close yesterday.

My eyes stare at the register. “Probably not until the season’s over.” I meet her eyes again. “I’m really sorry, Lauren.”

Another customer comes through the front door. “Yeah,” she says. “Me too.” She looks past me and says hello to the person who’s just walked in. That’s my cue to leave.

I hold the bag up. “Thanks,” I say. “I’ll see you around.”

“See ya later,” she says, not even looking at me.

As I leave, I glance at a picture hanging on the wall. It says YOU CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS, BUT YOU CAN BUY DOUGHNUTS,

AND THAT’S KIND OF THE SAME THING.

Man, I wish that were true. Because although I’m leaving with two doughnuts, I am not leaving happy, that’s for sure.