"No, Your Grace."

   "Good. Actually I had just intended to retaliate, because when we met the first time you chided me for not speaking very good Norse. Well, that jest fell flat, since your French is excellent. How can that be, since most of your studies are in Latin?"

   "We've had an arrangement whereby I speak Latin about spiritual and academic matters, French when doing the other half of the work, and Norse with the lay brothers who don't speak much French," replied Arn, raising his head for the first time and looking the archbishop in the eye. By now he had conquered the worst of his embarrassment.

   "An excellent arrangement. It's good that you retain your Norse language, even better if things turn out the way I think," muttered the archbishop pensively. "But let me now ask you something specific, and I really want an honest answer. Has the Lord God spoken to you? Has He revealed His intentions for you?"

   "No, Your Grace. God has never spoken directly to me, and I know nothing of His intentions for me," Arn replied, once again feeling embarrassed and at a disadvantage. It was as if through sin he had made himself unworthy of God's original plan, whatever it may have been.

   The two older men pondered Arn's reply thoughtfully and in silence. They said nothing at all for a long time, but at last they exchanged a knowing look and nodded to each other. Father Henri made a great show of clearing his throat, the way he always did before launching into a long explanation.

   "My beloved son, you must now listen to me and not be frightened," Father Henri began with visible emotion. "My good friend Stéphan and I have reached a decision which we believe is the only right one. We know as little as you do about what God has in mind for you; all we know is that it must be something special. But since none of us knows, it might be that His call has simply not been made as yet. Our task, and yours, could be to prepare you as well as possible for the call when it does come, don't you think?"

   "Yes, of course, Father," Arn replied in a low voice. His throat was suddenly dry.

   "Your education is remarkable and the work of your hands is of great joy to us here within these walls," Father Henri went on. "But you know nothing of the world outside. That is why you must now go out into that world; you must return to your father's estate at Arnäs, which lies a day's ride from here. Well, a Nordic day's ride, that is . . . you know what I mean, with horses from Outremer it would probably take half a day, I would guess. This is the commandwe now give you. You must return to the place that was once your home."

   "I . . . I will naturally obey your command," said Arn, although the words stuck in his throat. He felt as though he'd been felled by an unexpected blow, as if he'd been excommunicated, cast out from the holy community.

   "I see that you are not happy with our command," said the archbishop.

   "No, Your Grace. I've tried to acquit myself well here at the cloister, and I don't mean to boast in any way when I say that, but I can honestly argue that I've done my best," said Arn, crushed.

   "You are a Cistercian, my young friend," said Archbishop Stéphan. "Think on that. You will always be one of us, for what is done cannot be undone. Perhaps it is also intended that you shall remain one of us in tra murosforever, that is what we do not know. Perhaps you will come back after finding that the world out there does not suit you, fully prepared to make your vows to the cloister. But first you must learn of the things about which you have no knowledge, and you can't learn about the outside world in here, no matter how hard you study. We want what is best for you. You should know that both Henri and I truly love you, and we will both pray for you while you are out there. But you must learn something about the other world, that is what is needed."

   "When may I come back? How long do I have to stay out there?" asked Arn with a new spark of hope.

   "When God wills it, you will come back to us. If God does not will it, He will give you another purpose out there. You must ask Him in your prayers. It's not something we can decide, since it's a matter between you and God," said the archbishop, starting to stand up as if the conversation were over. But then he thought of something to add and brightened up a little.

   "Oh yes, one more thing, young man. When you are out there you must know that not only will your brothers within these walls be praying for you, but you also have the archbishop as your friend. You can always come to me with your troubles, remember that!"

   With that Archbishop Stéphan stood up and held out his hand to Arn, who fell to his knees and with his head bowed as a sign of obedience, kissed the archbishop's hand.

When Arn rode out from Varnhem it was at first with a very heavy heart. In spite of all Father Henri's explanations and exhortations he hadn't been able to shake the feeling that he was being punished, as if he had shown himself to be unworthy of the brothers' fellowship.

   But in search of consolation he began to sing, and this soon eased his heart. When he discovered that it helped, his mood changed so that he sang even more and soon out of joy rather than seeking consolation. By now he sang like all the other brothers, a little better than some and a little worse than others, neither more nor less. But his singing was suddenly of more joy to him than in many years, almost like in the days when he sang soprano in the brothers' choir.

   As his mood now shifted from dark to light just as rapidly and unpredictably as the spring weather, he also began to be filled with excitement and anticipation. It was certainly true that he knew nothing of the world outside the cloister walls. He could hardly remember what Arnäs looked like, the place that had once been his home. He remembered a very tall stone tower, a courtyard behind walls where he and other children had played a game with hoops and where his father had shown him how to shoot a bow and arrow. But he had a hard time summoning up any image in his memory about how they had actually lived. He thought he recalled that they all lived together somehow, that it was dark with a big fire, but he didn't trust his memories because they seemed so foreign. Now he was finally going to see everything with his own eyes. He should be there by tomorrow. With a better horse he could have been there by evening, but he was riding an old and slow Nordic horse, one of those that according to Brother Guilbert was no use for breeding and hardly good for anything else. But lay brother Erlend was now at Arnäs to teach new children to read, as he had once taught Arn and Eskil, and so Erlend would be given a compliant horse when he had to return to Varnhem. Father Henri was of the opinion that lay brother Erlend would be of little use at Arnäs, either for reading or anything else, after Arn came home.