‘Hello, Kitty.’ Arthur nearly let himself smile, but stopped just in time. ‘I tried to find—’

‘How dare you?’ she interrupted harshly.

‘Kitty!’ Arthur took a step towards her, and she flinched as before a vile serpent.

‘Stay back, Arthur. I think I should be sick if you came any closer. In all the time I have known you I never once suspected that you could behave in such a low, calculating, ungentlemanly manner.There’s a good man, I told myself. Honest, charming and intelligent. Well, now you’ve made the stupidest, most wretched mistake of your life. To think that I loved you. That I wanted to marry you! The very thought makes my flesh creep. I . . .’ Her head lowered and she angrily cuffed away a tear. But it was not enough to stop the raw emotion pouring from her body and her shoulders shuddered as more tears came.

Arthur looked at her, torn by the desire to go and comfort her, and knowing that she would be repelled by the act. He swallowed nervously. ‘Kitty, let me explain. Please.’

She shook her head violently, quickly brushed her eyes and looked up at him defiantly. ‘What is there to explain, Arthur? I know everything. Most of all, I know how you have betrayed me and my family. I feel like such a fool not to have seen through you.’

‘There is nothing to see through, Kitty. I am the same Arthur as I ever was. The same man you once said you loved.’

‘Don’t you dare say that! You worm.’

‘Let me speak. Hear me out, Kitty.Then you can call me what you will if your heart is still turned against me. But listen to me first.’

She pursed her lips, and glowered at him, red-eyed, and then nodded slowly. ‘Have your say, Arthur, for all the good it might do.’

For the first time that day his heart lightened a fraction, and he drew a breath to calm himself before he told her about his letter to Richard, and its unfortunate consequences.

‘I told Lord Camden that under the circumstances there was no question of my taking the position,’ he concluded. ‘I’ve been looking for you ever since, because I wanted to tell you the truth about it, before you heard what had happened and perhaps misunderstood.’

‘Misunderstood? It’s a bit more serious than that, Arthur.’

‘Don’t you think I know?’ Arthur struck his chest. ‘Kitty, I realise I am within a hair’s breadth of losing the person I love more than any other in this world, but I swear I am telling you the truth. I had no part in this.’ He took a step closer and sank down on to his knees in front of her. ‘I swear I have not done anything to be ashamed of. I have told Camden I cannot take the job and I pleaded with him to return it to your uncle. I have acted as honourably as the situation allowed.’

She stared at him in silence, and he saw the conflicting emotions in her expression. Slowly, he reached for her hand and held it gently. Her lips trembled and she lifted his hand to her cheek and pressed her flesh against his.

‘Oh, Arthur, I want to believe it. Tom said some dreadful things this morning. He had an urgent meeting today. Afterwards I feared he might come to find you, to demand satisfaction.That is why I had to speak to you first.’

‘I’ll have to explain it to him.’

‘Not now. He would as soon shoot you as see you. Let me speak to him first. I’ll send a message when it’s safe to tell him in your own words.’ She released his hand and dried her eyes on the sleeve of her coat. ‘I had better get back. He may be at home and wonder where I have gone.’

Arthur eased himself up on to his feet. ‘Yes, of course. I’ll wait until I hear from you.’

He escorted her to the door, and as they stood on the threshold Arthur held her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. ‘I love you, Kitty. I would never do anything to endanger or dishonour that love.’

She smiled briefly. ‘I know. And I love you. I think I always will.’

Then she turned and hurried away.

Even though Captain Pakenham accepted Arthur’s explanation, he was understandably angry about Richard’s role in the affair. Kitty’s brother was less forgiving and refused to have anything further to do with the Wesley family, forbidding Arthur to visit his home, and warning Kitty to steer clear of him.Worse still, the affair had soured Arthur’s relations with Lord Camden and it was clear that there would be no chance of preferment from that quarter for a long time.

Accordingly Arthur swallowed his pride and his bitterness and wrote to Richard to see what his brother could do by way of finding him a field command, since only a career in the army still lay open to him. The orders came swiftly. Lieutenant Colonel Wesley was to rejoin the 33rd regiment of foot in Plymouth where the regiment was preparing for service in the West Indies. Arthur packed his meagre belongings into travel chests, and made his farewells.

He managed to get a message to Kitty through Captain Fenshaw, who was more than happy to convey a note from his soon to be departing rival. They met, late in August, at a small coffee house close to the castle. For the first time in over a week the sky was clear and Dublin was bathed in warm sunshine that raised the spirits of the city’s inhabitants, so that there was a marked contrast between the expressions of the two figures sitting at a table in a corner and those of the other customers, who chatted together in cheerful tones.

‘I’ve no idea how long I will be away this time,’ said Arthur. ‘It may be for some years.’

‘Years?’ Kitty winced. ‘Why so long? The last campaign was over in a matter of months.’

‘I know. But this time it will be different. The government wants to take the war to the French colonies. So it’s going to be a question of subduing one island at a time. That might take much longer than anyone thinks, particularly with conditions as they are in the West Indies.’

‘Conditions?’ Kitty frowned.‘You mean the dangers to health, don’t you? Charles told me about all the diseases: yellow fever, dysentery . . .oh, I don’t want to remember the rest.’ She reached her hand across the table and interlaced her fingers with his. ‘Arthur, promise me you will take care of yourself.’

‘I’ll do my best, Kitty. But in any case I imagine that I won’t be able to see you again for a long time. By then, you will have forgotten me, and be married to someone else. Charles perhaps.’

‘Don’t say such things.’ She looked down and shook her head. ‘I want you.’

‘It would be the height of folly for us to marry as things stand, Kitty. Just know that my feelings for you will never change. Whatever happens. And if I do return one day, having made my fortune, and by some miracle you have not wed, then . . .’

She looked up and forced a smile. ‘I’ll still be here. If you still want me.’

Arthur felt a raw flood of emotion fill his heart, only to turn to a terrible aching agony at the cruel knowledge that in a short time they would be parted, perhaps for ever.

‘Kitty. On my life, I will still want you. I promise.’

Chapter 14

December, 1795

It was a fine, clear winter day and the harbour at Southampton was filled with shipping.The masts, spars and rigging looked like a vast, intricate spiderweb from where Arthur observed the scene from the main quay. In amongst the coasters and small trading vessels were the large Indiamen flying the East India Company’s flag. Further out lay the warships of the Royal Navy, from small sloops up to the stately ships of the line. The vessels were anchored to one side of the channel as several ships, taking advantage of a favourable breeze, glided into Southampton, passing those setting sail for other destinations. Their topsails were sheeted home and bulged as they filled under the pressure of the wind, canting the vessels gently to leeward.

The quay was filled with men unloading cargo from the merchant ships, and others loading supplies and equipment aboard the troopships berthed near the naval yard. Arthur watched as his officers and sergeants marshalled the red-coated men of his regiment, the 33rd Foot, and marched them up the ramps on to the decks of the vessels that would be their cramped quarters for the next few months. The harsh shouts of the sergeants competed with the breeze singing through the rigging and the shrill cacophony of seagulls. Once the last of the men were aboard, Arthur turned away and made his way back to his lodgings at the Crown and Anchor inn to settle his personal affairs before joining his men. If the wind direction remained constant, the regiment would sail on the noon tide of the following day. So he worked hard to complete the remaining tasks before he quit England.