Aidan took a breath, careful not to react too quickly to her words. She was totally withdrawing from him, her mind blocking him out. Or so she thought. He was familiar with her mind now, and he slowly entered, a slight shadow, ever watchful. “I have never lied to you, Alexandria. You decided that if you saved my life, you would be giving up your own.” Deliberately his voice was velvet.

“You were afraid for Stefan.”

“Why would I choose to allow Stefan to live and take your life? There is no sense in that. I did not trust myself to stop with Stefan. I had lost far too much blood, and my survival instincts were too strong. You were the only one safe.”

He said it softly. His musical, hypnotic voice washed over her, seeping into her and tempering the horror of what she had become, easing a bit of the tension between them. “Why? Why would I be safe? Stefan has been your friend for years. You don’t know me. Why would I be safe when he is not?”

“You are my lifemate. I could never harm you. For you I could control myself, and you I could replenish. I have told you this on more than one occasion, but you insist on ignoring the information.”

“I don’t understand any of this!” she blurted out. “I just know I want away from you. You’re confusing me to the point that I don’t know if you’re putting thoughts into my head or if they’re my own.”

“You are not a prisoner, Alexandria, but the truth is, you need to remain close to me. There is no way you can protect yourself and Joshua without me.”

“I’ll leave the city. Evidently it’s overrun with vampires anyway. Who would want to stay?” she asked, somewhere between bitterness and hysterical laughter.

“Where would you go? How would you live? Who would take care of Joshua in the daytime while you are forced to sleep?”

Alexandria clamped her hands over her ears in an attempt to block out his words. “Shut up, Aidan. I don’t want to listen to you again.” She lifted her chin, her sapphire eyes meeting his. Very slowly, unsteadily she pushed her way back up the wall.

He rose slowly, his movements mirroring hers. He looked so powerful, so invincible, she couldn’t believe she was defying him. Hunger crawled inside her. The small amount of blood he had given her had merely whetted her appetite. Her starving body cried out, was insistent, impossible to ignore. Alexandria pressed a hand to her mouth. She was evil; he was evil. Neither of them should be alive.

That is not true, Alexandria, not true at all.He glided slowly toward her, silent, unpredictable, his voice so velvet soft, so very persuasive. She rubbed her forehead. “God, you’re in my head. Do you really think I’m going to believe it’s normal to talk to one another in our minds? That you always know what I’m thinking?”

“It is normal for Carpathians. You are not a vampire, cara. You are a Carpathian. And you are my lifemate.”

“Stop it! Don’t say it anymore!” Alexandria admonished.

“I will keep saying it until you understand the difference.”

“I understand you made me like this. And that I’m not supposed to be alive. And no one is supposed to live for centuries. And no one is supposed to kill others to survive.”

“Animals do it all the time, piccola. And humans kill animals to eat. But in any case, we do not kill when we feed, as vampires often do. It is forbidden, and the act itself taints the blood, destroys the soul,” he said patiently. “There is no need to fear your new life.”

“I don’t have a life.” Watching his every move, she inched toward the door. “You took my life away from me.”

He was several feet from the heavy stone entrance, she only inches. But even as she jerked it open, his hand was already stopping her. His body, so much larger, so much stronger, was blocking her way to freedom.

Alexandria went still. “I thought I wasn’t a prisoner.”

“Why do you resist my aid? If you leave this chamber with your hunger as it is, your distress will increase.”

Aidan wasn’t touching her, but she could feel his heat. Her body seemed to reach for his. Even her mind sought his touch. Horrified, she pushed at him. “Get away from me. I’m going to sit with Joshua for a while. I need to think, and I don’t want you around. If I’m not your prisoner, then get away from me.”

“You cannot go near the boy looking as you do. You are covered in dirt and smeared with my blood.”

“Where’s your shower?”

He hesitated, then decided against mentioning she wouldn’t need one if she didn’t want one. Let her be as human as she needed to be. It cost him nothing. “You may as well use your private bathroom on the second floor. Your clothes are in your room, and everyone is asleep. You will not be disturbed there.” He stepped back and gestured toward the passageway.

Alexandria ran through the tunnel and burst into the basement. She had to leave this place. What was she going to do with Joshua? Aidan was dragging her further and further into his world. A world of madness, of insanity. She had to leave.

She had never been on the second floor, but she was so distraught, she scarcely noticed the ornate banister, the plush carpets, the elegance of each room. Marie had done the best she could to place Alexandria’s things around, to make her feel more like this was her home. Alexandria peeled off her filthy clothing and stepped into the large glass-doored shower. It was immaculate, as if no one had ever used it.

She turned on the water as hot as she could stand it and turned up her face to the flow, trying not to give in to hysteria. She was not a vampire, not a killer. She didn’t belong in this house. Joshua certainly didn’t belong here. She closed her eyes. What was she going to do? Where could they go? Slowly she threaded her fingers through her thick braid, loosening the weave so she could wash her hair. Long and fast-growing, it fell past her hips as she massaged the shampoo into her scalp. What was she going to do? She had no idea, and none seemed forthcoming.

Hunger was ever present, gnawing at her until her mind seemed consumed with it. She could taste the spice of Aidan’s blood on her tongue. Her mouth watered, and her body cried out for more. Tears mingled with the water pouring over her face. She couldn’t pretend this wasn’t happening. Worst of all, she could barely tolerate being apart from Aidan. She could feel her mind, of its own accord, reaching for him. Her heart was heavy, almost grief-stricken, away from him. She could not stop thinking about him.

“I hate you, what you’ve done to me,” she whispered aloud, hoping he was listening to her mind.

She dressed slowly, choosing her clothes carefully. Her favorite pair of jeans, worn and faded with two rips in them. She loved the feel of them against her skin. They were so normal, so much a part of her everyday life. Her favorite ivory lace cardigan, with the little pearl buttons that always made her feel feminine.

As she unwrapped the towel from her hair, she looked at herself in the mirror for the first time. She was slightly shocked there was even a reflection. She had a hysterical impulse to call Thomas Ivan and tell him he needed to rethink some of his ideas for his silly vampire games. He didn’t seem quite so brilliant anymore. Still, she looked fragile, pale, her eyes too large for her face. She touched her neck. There was smooth, satin skin, no scars, no faded wounds. Lifting her hands in wonder, she studied her long fingernails. She had never been able to grow long nails. Her fingers clenched into fists.

She could not stay in this place. She needed to figure out how to get Joshua to safety. On bare feet she padded down the hallway. There was no need to turn on lights; she could see quite clearly in the darkness. Once again her mind was tuning itself to Aidan’s, and she forced it away, out of danger. She didn’t want him to know what she was thinking or feeling. She didn’t want to acknowledge that she was any different from any other human being. Very slowly she walked down the stairs.