"Forget them. They were mere freebirths."

"But they lived, they—"

"Do you mean to say you regard a freeborn as having the same right to live as we do, as does anyone created out of the gene pool and therefore superior to—"

"Yes, I regard their lives as valuable."

"Of value equal to ours?"

"I, well, I—yes, why not? They were here training to be warriors."

"Do you feel that a freeborn who succeeds in the Trial is therefore better than you, that he has caste status above you? Well, Aidan?"

"I do not know how to answer that. I am trained to think otherwise. But is it not true that the freeborn who succeeds at the Trial becomes a warrior of the Clan?"

"Yes, but only in a way. You rarely see freeborns on front-line duty. They are mainly useful in freeing up proper warriors for significant duty. They will never contribute genes to the gene pool and rarely earn a Bloodname."

"But at least they are warriors. I failed. I became a Tech. Yes, the warrior in the most unpleasant rear-guard duty is to be envied when you are back here as a mere Tech."

"Techs might argue that point, but I do think that you have been living among freeborns for too long."

"I have been one! I amone!"

"Do not get carried away, Aidan. Whatever you are and whether or not you have succeeded in the Trial yet, you are nota freeborn. No matter how much empathy you feel for one of that unfortunate genetic state, you cannot become one. At any rate, I trust that you will do well in your next Trial and all of this puerile discussion will be rendered moot. Why are you here?"

He seemed stunned, not able to speak. I had the sensation of my missing hand grabbing fistfuls of sheet and pulling at them.

"I—" he began, then stopped and took a breath. "I want to be a warrior, but I want no one killed to promote my success. If this killing is to continue, I respectfully request that you return me to the technician caste, and this time I promise to stay there."

The words came out in a labored way, and I had to respect his courage.

"There is someone else who knows about your background?"

His answer came too slow. "No, there is not." I knew there was.

"Aidan, I will return you to the technician caste if you will answer me just one question."

He scowled, puzzled. "All right."

"Do you want to become a warrior? Do you want it more than anything else in your life?"

"That is not fair! It is—"

"DO YOU WANT TO BE A WARRIOR?"

"YES! I WANT IT MORE THAN—"

"Then that is enough. I will not interfere with your progress further. You are completely on your own. I admit to nothing that has happened in the past, and you will never again accuse me. You agree, quiaff?"

I became instantly furious when he hesitated. Then he said, quietly, "Aff."

"Very well. You are dismissed. Return to your unit."

For once, I could read his eyes. I saw in them a thousand things he wanted to say, and his resentment at me for blocking them. What I felt at that moment perhaps corresponds to what fathers feel for their children at moments of crisis. But of course I could not become thatsentimental.

He left, but traces of his presence seemed to linger in the air.

I had lied to him, of course. Anything I can do to facilitate his passing of the Trial, I will do. I will risk the consequences. But I must be more subtle, I suppose. I surmise that the person who has suspicions is the unit's other falconer, the one named Othy. But this one I cannot kill. I must arrange a necessary transfer, and then dispose of him later, after the Trial. It should not be too hard to manufacture his removal.

If he goes, then the unit is without training officers. Someone else must move into the spot. And I know just the logical candidate for the job. I feel the wheels turning. It is always exciting when the wheels are turning.

38

Their new training officer, a tough bird named Falconer Joanna, really dislodged the equanimity of the freeborn unit. Louder than the late Falconer Abeth and more demanding than the departed Falconer Othy, she was a martinet who suffered no excuses, forced a cadet to lick up any dirt he had not cleaned up, ran a quicker march, demanded better performance, and seemed to despise every freeborn in the universe. She was especially hard on Cadet Jorge, even though he proved time and again that he could do anything she could dream up for him to do. Indeed, she seemed to get special pleasure from finding new challenges for him.

Aidan thought Joanna was just being herself, and then some. When she first arrived and found an excuse to take him aside, she said: "Make no mistake about it, Aidan—"

"Jorge—I am Jorge now."

"I know that."

"But what if someone overhears?"

"If I say it, it does not matter if someone overhears." She glared at him, but he sensed that she almost smiled. "You understand that, quiaff?"

"Aff."

"Let us make this as easy as possible. I am not patient, yes? All right. As I was about to say, I am not happy about this assignment. I am here because Ter Roshak said somebody had to be, especially since Othy came down with that influenza."

"Did he then? I mean, he is all right, is he not?"

"If you call lying under a dozen blankets and delirious with fever all right, then he is just fine. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Why do you so dislike being here? It is no worse than ordinary training."

"But it is. I cannot stomach being around freebirths all day. How can you?"

"It is not so bad. They are ordinary, friendly—"

She seemed shocked. "Of course they are ordinary. How can you stand that?But never mind. They disgust me, and I am only glad that my stay here will be a short one."

"Falconer Joanna, you should give them a chance."

"Stop, I have heard such pro-freebirth talk before and I despise it as much as I despise them. I am going to hit you now. They are watching us."

She did not give him much time to think about it. With the back of her hand, she whacked Aidan hard on the side of his head, dizzying him for a short time. Then she bellowed an order and walked away. When he went back to his fellow cadets, they were all smiling. Thinking of what Joanna had said, and recalling warrior beliefs about freeborns, he wondered if he shouldfeel so comfortable with them.

Several days later, Joanna rousted them out of bed before dawn with the announcement that they were marching to a special duty. The march was long and it was well after daylight before they reached their destination. Joanna handed rations around and told them they had been chosen to participate in the first stage of a Trial that would be held in this area in two hours. They would deploy with weapons in the forest a kilometer away and attack the cadets as they came through. The weapons were equipped with stun potential, as were the weapons of the cadets taking the Trial.

"It is a chance for you to observe a Trial in action and provide a valuable service for the trainees, sharpening their instincts and presenting them battle conditions before they reach their 'Mechs. Any questions?"

Looking around him, Aidan suddenly recognized the area. It was the same one where he had taken his own Trial. He could see the tips of the hills beyond the forest.

When Joanna was finished and the others were wolfing down their rations, Aidan approached Joanna. "Yes, Cadet Jorge?" she asked. "Permission to speak with you privately, Falconer."