"So, Leftenant, at some point early on, Victor Davion dispatched your lance to check on the Gash?" Wolf's encouraging smile eased some of the tightness in Kai's chest.

"Yes, sir. He instructed me to go to sector 0227. We had a landline there at the field hospital. Victor told me to use it to communicate to him what was happening. I ..."

Kai faltered. Through the far doors, a trooper in Dragoons uniform was leading a visitor to a seat in the observers' gallery. The visitor wore a uniform similar to Kai's, but her clothing bore no rank insignia. He recognized her short black hair and though he could not see the color of her eyes from here, he knew her gaze was polar blue. What is she doing here?

Kai recovered himself after only a moment's silence. "... I discovered sector 0227 under attack by Toads—ah, the Clans Armored Infantry, what you have called Elementals. I defeated the half-dozen operating in the canyon and ordered an evacuation of the hospital and all the personnel."

"Excuse me," Romano purred, "but did you not also order some men back into the Gash area to detonate the explosives?"

Kai struggled to keep his voice from trembling. "Yes, I did."

"Knowing, as you did, the capabilities of the Toads, you must have sent only men armed with weapons able to defend them against assault by the Toads." Romano's statement stabbed at his heart like a dagger, "I mean, to do otherwise would have been ordering those men to their deaths. Such an action would be very irresponsible, wouldn't it, Leftenant?"

Kai swallowed hard. "Yes, Madam Chancellor, it would be irresponsible." He raised his head and tried to return her stony gaze with calm. "I accept that their blood is on my hands. I made a mistake, which I cannot undo. I can only vow never to repeat such a mistake."

Romano's lids lowered like a tigress lying patiently, waiting for the right moment to strike. "You made a mistake? Is that how you classify sending men to their death? A mistake? What kind of twisted philosophy pervades the Federated Commonwealth military to permit you to make such a statement?"

"Madam Chancellor," Wolf interrupted sharply, "your questions are far from the subject of our inquiry here."

"I do not ..."

"Enough!" Wolf snapped. The irritation drained from the Colonel's face as he returned his gaze to Kai. "After the evacuation had begun, you engaged more Toads. In the course of your battle with them, what happened?"

"I fought with the Toads—at least two dozen of them— and forced them back through the Gash to the highest point of the pass. Once there, I saw a reinforced battalion of Clan 'Mechs. These were front-line units—what you said were called OmniMechs—that we thought had left the planet. Because radio communication was impossible, I knew that the only way to stop them from pouring through the Gash and falling on our troops was to seal the pass."

Kai's gaze flicked up toward the woman in the visitors' gallery. "I challenged the Clansmen to single combat, then instructed Dr. Deirdre Lear—my unwilling passenger—to pull the circuits that controlled the magnetic containment shielding for my fusion engine. As the first 'Mech engaged me, I ejected. The fusion engine explosion triggered the pentaglycerine we'd used to mine the Gash."

Kai hesitated as he relived that moment of boulders smashing down and burying enemy 'Mechs. "The Hatchetman'sejection pod carried the doctor and myself to safety, while those Clan 'Mechs were destroyed." Kai's hands tightened into fists, then opened again. "I had no choice."

Romano stood abruptly. "You had no choice? You make it sound as though you were dispatching a rabid dog, not facing fellow MechWarriors. They deserved the honor of the combat you offered them. You could have met them and defeated them honestly, but you resorted to treachery instead. Have you no honor?"

Hanse Davion's fist slammed into his table. "Colonel Wolf, once again I see my esteemedcolleague from the Capellan Confederation conducting a personal vendetta against her sister in our councils. This time, however, she directs her attacks against a surrogate who does not deserve it. I would request you to admonish her again to keep her remarks to the subject at hand. Criticizing a man for a decision—one I believe was correct—made in the thick of battle is not our purpose here."

Romano's green eyes blazed. "I would maintain that Kai Allard's conduct is very much the subject at hand. Colonel Wolf has asked us to unite our forces to face this mutual threat, has he not? Yet Allard's conduct shows a gross disregard for the lives in his command, and he apparently has no sense of position or honor. Am I to trust my troops to actions where they will have to work under AFFC commanders? How convenient it would be for those commanders to consider my troops expendable, and order them into a similar slaughterhouse situation so that the F-C need not lose any of its own men."

She smiled cruelly. "Given Hanse Davion's lust for my realm, he could entice me to send my troops against this supposed Clan threat as a prelude to another of his invasions. How can I trust my Confederation's security to men like Allard?" Romano turned to Kai. "You cannot justify your actions, Leftenant."

Kai trembled with anger, but his self-doubt stopped him from shouting out a hot denial. She's right. You know she's right,a voice whispered inside his mind. You're less a warrior than you are a butcher.

He forced his fists to unknot, then looked Romano straight in the eye again. "You are correct, Madam Chancellor. I cannot justify my actions with any motive other than personal greed. I could not allow myself the luxury of honorable conduct when I stood to lose friends and comrades in a battle, comrades I valued above all. And I cannot assure you that should I be part of an operation that included your troops, or in which your son served, that I would not have to order the troops to fill a hole in a line, and that the order might not mean everyone would die ..."

"Ha!" she crowed triumphantly.

Kai's even voice overrode her shout of victory. "... but I guarantee that in any such situation, I would be at their head, leading the way."

Kai closed his eyes and inclined his head forward. "I live with the nightmares of what happened on Twycross. And the only thing that allows me to do so is the resolve never to order others into danger I would not be willing to face. If I have to consign men to death, I will be there with them. That, ultimately, is the burden of being a leader. And a burden I am willing to shoulder. It may not be what you call honor, but it is honor enough for me."

* * *

Kai let the door to the Council Chamber swing shut behind him, then slumped against the wall. Even as he was leaving the witness stand, Wolf had called Deirdre Lear to come forward. Kai knew that the whole situation on Twycross would be picked apart to the minutest detail, and that most of it would consist of Romano trying to make points in her forever war with Candace. Thank God I don't squabble like that with my sisters or brother.

"You, Allard." Hohiro Kurita filled the narrow corridor with fists on his hips.

Kai straightened up. "Yes, Sho-saT

The angry expression on Hohiro's face matched the grim tone of his words. "I'm looking for Victor Davion. Where is he?"

"I don't know." Kai shrugged wearily. "What difference does it make?"

Hohiro's rage cooled in the face of Kai's apathy. The Kurita Prince hesitated for a second, then forced a stern note into his voice. "It makes a difference to me. I believe he is with my sister."