“A Carpathian child is protected and loved above all things. We do not mistreat children.”

“That is not what I asked of you.”

He closed his eyes tightly for a moment, unable to lie to her. He had been alone too long. He would never want to remain without her. “Lifemates happen to us only once, little red hair.”

“Our child, Jacques. If it should happen, I don’t want a stranger raising it.”

“Sometimes, Shea, another couple, one hungering for a child, is a better choice than a remaining, grief-stricken lifemate.”

Her swift indrawn breath, the slam of a mind block so strong it was frightening, made him realize this was no small matter to her. “Did it never occur to you people that the child might also be grieving? That a parent to comfort it and see it through such a time would be of more value. This need you have to choose death when there is a child or other family members left behind is selfish and morbid.”

“You persist in judging us by human standards,” he said gently. “You have no idea what our bond entails.” His strong fingers laced through hers, and he turned her knuckles up to brush the warmth of his mouth along her soft skin. “Perhaps we should save this discussion for a more appropriate time, when we are safe and we know Byron is also.”

Her eyes refused to meet his. “I’m sure you’re right, Jacques.” Tears burned, and Shea chose to attribute them to her sensitivity to the dawn, not to their conversation.

She followed Jacques down to the timberline without a murmur, carefully keeping a strong block up so that he could not read her mind. She could understand why he felt he would have to choose death should something happen to her. He had been too long alone and could not face life without his anchor. Maybe he was right; maybe he would be too dangerous to the world. But if she had to accept that, she knew that there could be no children in their future together. Eternity was a long time to live with such knowledge. But she could not bring a child into the world, given how Jacques felt. She would never take such a risk.

Shea bit her lip, stumbled a little in weariness. Automatically she grabbed at Jacques’ waistband for support. For one moment she’d thought she had a chance at a normal life, perhaps not normal as others knew it, but with a family structure, a child and husband.

Do not, Shea. I do not have the time now to comfort you properly, to allay your fears. Leave this.

Startled that he had penetrated her block, she looked up at his face, so mesmerizing, so handsome and seductive, yet ravaged by torment no human could imagine. His eyes, unprotected by the dark glasses he held in his hand, moved over her face. She could see love there, and possession, a dark promise for all eternity.

His fingers brushed her chin, sending a dancing flame spiraling along her spine. His thumb touched her bottom lip, and a shiver of sexual awareness curled in the pit of her stomach. You belong with me. Shea, two halves of the same whole. You are the light to my darkness. I may be twisted, even mad, but I know in my heart, in my very soul, that I cannot exist without you.His mouth brushed her eyelids gently. “I am not easy to kill, red hair, and I do not surrender what is mine. Lying in torment these years has given me a strength of will not easily matched.”

She rubbed her face along his side, wanting to burrow close for comfort. “We are so far apart, Jacques, in every way we think. It’s easy to say in the heat of passion that everything will be fine, but living together may be extremely difficult. We’re so different.”

His arm circled her waist, urging her forward into the comparative shelter of the trees. Rain was slashing down, soaking them. Clouds, dark and massive, swirled above them. But he could feel the first pinpricks of the sun as it began to climb above the clouds. The early morning light always made him uneasy, always made him aware of his own terrible vulnerability. Replacing his dark glasses, he pushed forward with quick, long strides. If only she had taken nourishment from the healer, they could shape-shift and be at the cabin in an instant.

Jacques knew she had thought her mind block sufficient to keep him out, but he never was able to quite let go of her. Some part of him always dwelled in her mind, quiet, like a faint shadow, but there all the same. She had always dreamed of having a child, to give it the love she’d never had. Now she felt there was no hope of such a thing. The question of the child had been very important to her, but lifemates could not lie to one another, could not cheat on one another. He could only pray he would choose death instantly, without a qualm, without a doubt, if something happened to Shea. Otherwise he feared he would become the monster lurking inside him, so close to the surface, a monster the world of humans and Carpathians alike had never known. There was something very wrong with him, and only Shea stood between that something and the rest of the world.

There was no way for her to break their bond. He knew that with his every instinct, and it brought him a measure of com fort. The rage, always so close, so deadly, was leashed and under control for the time being. As long as Shea was with him.

But now he had to find Byron; he owed the Carpathian that much. The drive in him to do so was strong, almost overwhelming, as if some part of him, not his mind but something deep within him, remembered their shared friendship. He should have placed Shea in a trance and demanded that she sleep while he did this thing, but the truth was, he simply couldn’t bear their separation, and he wanted her close, where he could protect her. And he wanted her happy. Women!

Shea heard his disgruntled complaint clearly in her mind. A small smile tugged at the corners of her reluctant mouth. “Am I complicating your life, Jacques?” she asked sweetly, hopefully.

He stopped so abruptly that she was jerked to a halt. Jacques caught her wet hair in his fist and pulled her head back so that the rain ran along her soft skin like honey. “The truth is, Shea, you make me feel so much, I do not know if I can stand it sometimes.” His mouth found hers almost blindly, desperately, feeding voraciously as if he might devour her, take her into his body forever. Nothing can ever happen to you!His hands were biting into her skin, his body taut with tension, his mind a whirling confusion of fear and determination and so much hunger.

Almost without thought Shea reacted instinctively, her slender arms circling his neck, her body soft and pliant against the aggression in his, her mind calm and loving, a warm, safe haven for his fragmented, tortured mind. She kissed him without reservation, pouring every ounce of love and support she could into her response. He lifted his head reluctantly and rested his forehead on hers.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, Jacques. I think you’re having anxiety attacks.” She tousled his hair as if he were a small boy, gave him a teasing grin. “Do Carpathians have shrinks, too?”

He laughed softly, astonished that he could do so when he had been so terrified only moments earlier. “You are as disrespectful as a woman can get.”

“I’m not just any woman, silly, I’m a doctor and terribly brilliant. Everyone says so.”

“Do they now?” He held her tight against his hard frame, thinking to take her into his very body, his arms protectively sheltering her.

“Is this going to be too much for you, Jacques? Facing those horrible butchers again? Are you certain you can do this?”

He raised his head so that she couldn’t see the wolfish smile that didn’t reach his ice-black eyes. “I am looking forward to renewing our acquaintance.”

Shea touched his mind with hers, found a grim satisfaction at the thought of a confrontation, but Jacques was too strong to allow her to see the rage and hatred welling up, threatening to spew forth violence and revenge. Shea was a healer, a gentle woman who could not conceive of an evil such as he had seen, such as he himself possessed. She took his hand, her fingers lacing tightly with his. She might not ever have a child, but she had Jacques. She wanted him far away from pain and torment, far from men or creatures who might try to destroy him again. She was very determined to see him safe.