She pulled her arm free and walked away. I let her go this time. I stood there as she walked past her friends at the table and to the stage. Then she opened the back door and disappeared. Krit left the band to finish without him as he hurried off the stage.
He was willing to put her first. I never had been. He made her feel special, and I hadn’t. He wore eyeliner and had more piercings than one human should, but he knew what he had and he wasn’t willing to lose her.
Problem was, she had said she would hurt him for me. It was me she wanted.
How the hell was I supposed to walk away from that?
Chapter Sixteen
JESS
The stage door had barely closed behind me when Krit came stalking backstage. His eyes searched my face, and I felt like crumpling to the floor. He was worried about me. Jason was out there and I had all but told him I still wanted him, and Krit was worried about me.
“What the hell did he want?” Krit asked, looking ready to strike.
“He’s here with friends. He just wanted to say hello. I don’t think he expected to see me,” I told him.
“Does he know you’re with me?” Krit asked, taking another step toward me like he was scared I would burn him if he got too close.
“Yes, I told him. But he saw us earlier too.”
Krit studied me. “Now you’ve seen him, are you over it? Is this your closure?”
My closure? Could you get closure for something like this? Loving a man who didn’t love you back? “I don’t think there is anything to close. We were a mini fling.”
“Bullshit! He screwed with your head. Then that motherfucker has the nerve to walk into this bar.” He started pacing again.
“Krit, get out here,” Green said in an aggravated tone as he stepped backstage.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” Krit snapped at him. Then he looked back at me and cupped my face. “You okay?”
“They want you, Krit,” Green yelled over the crowd.
“I said to back the fuck off,” Krit yelled back at him.
I put my hand on Krit’s chest. “Go. I’m fine. I just want to stay back here and watch until your break,” I told him.
Krit nodded, then pressed a kiss to my lips before walking back onto the stage.
The door behind me closed, and I turned to see Trisha standing there. “Did he go back on?” she asked me, and I nodded.
Trisha walked over to stand beside me, and we watched him as he entertained the crowd. “He loves you,” Trisha said.
He hadn’t told me he loved me, but after the way he had acted outside earlier, I was beginning to wonder. “Why?” I asked. I hadn’t done anything to deserve it.
Trisha grinned. “Because you’re you. He knows the real you. Not the wild party girl you show the world. But then, you’ve not been that girl since the beginning of the summer.”
I hadn’t been that girl since I met Jason. We were both thinking it, but neither of us said it out loud.
“He’s not ready for what he feels. He wants to be, but he’s not. He’ll let you down. He’ll mess up.” I looked at Trisha, surprised by her words. She adored Krit. “I love him. But I know him. He’s a free spirit, and for the first time in his life he’s got someone he wants to hold on to. He’s never had that before. But he isn’t ready for it. It will ruin you both eventually.”
“I can’t hurt him,” I told her just as Krit turned to look back at me. He winked and licked his lips, causing the crowd of females to squeal.
“He’ll hurt you if you don’t. He’ll hate himself for it, and I’ll end up having to protect him from Rock. I don’t want to say all this, because for the first time in a very long time I can see he is really happy. You make him happy. But it’s not going to last. He can’t keep this up. He’ll crack. The right girl will throw herself at him and not take no for an answer and he’ll have had too much to drink. Then he’ll hate himself.” Trisha stopped talking and sighed. “I hate doing this. But if there is anything to that guy out there and you, he’s your ticket out, Jess. He’s the one who will pull you out of the life you were born into. Don’t let that go.”
What was out there would hurt me more than Krit could ever hurt me. I looked at Trisha. “Jason has the power to destroy me completely. I can’t let him. He broke me once. I can’t chance that.”
“You love him?” she asked.
I wanted to say no and for it to be true. I couldn’t. “Yes.”
“Krit has a club full of females willing to soothe his broken heart. He loves women, Jess. You know that. He’ll be hurt, but he will get over it. The females who adore him will help him.”
“When he’s ready, I’ll let him go. I can’t love him. My heart’s already taken.”
Trisha reached over and squeezed my arm. “And you’re sure you don’t want to see if this thing with Jason deserves a chance?”
Jason wasn’t here to give anything another chance. He just happened to be in town with friends and saw me. He hadn’t come looking for me. “I’m sure,” I replied.
Trisha nodded. “Okay.”
She turned and walked back out the door. I thought about sneaking outside to be alone, but if Krit looked back and didn’t see me, he would leave the stage again. So I leaned up against the wall and waited.
Fifteen minutes later Krit announced a break and left the stage without talking to the girls hanging around for his attention. He came directly to me and grabbed my hand. “To the back. Now.”
I knew what this meant, but could I do it after seeing Jason again made me so raw? I started to follow him and stopped. “Wait,” I said.
Krit stopped and looked back at me. I could see the fear flash in his eyes, and I hated it. I couldn’t let him think this was because of Jason.
“I’m … vulnerable right now. My emotions are all over the place. I’m not in the right mind-set to go have a quickie.”
Krit let out a defeated sigh. “I can make you forget him. Just give me five seconds, love.”
“That’s not the problem. I just need more than a quickie.”
Krit walked back over to me and pulled me into his arms. His chest was damp from sweat. “Fuck, yeah. Okay. I get that.”
He didn’t get it, but he thought he did. I was just glad to get a reprieve.
“I’m gonna need a drink, then,” he said. “You good to go out there with me?”
I nodded. If I had him beside me, I could deal with it. Jason was probably gone by now anyway.
“The douche is still out there,” Krit said, opening the door and putting his arm around my shoulders as we walked into the crowd. I knew it was his form of showing ownership, and any other night I would have shoved it off. Tonight I needed the protection. My heart needed protection. Krit was supplying that.
We walked over to Rock’s table, and Dewayne was grinning at me as I approached. “If it ain’t the heartbreaker. Got all them boys lining up tonight, don’t you, Mess?”
Dewayne had been calling me Mess instead of Jess for as long as I could remember. He and Rock had been friends since elementary school, so there wasn’t a time in my life Dewayne wasn’t in it. That went for Marcus Hardy and Preston Drake, as well.
“Shut it,” I snapped at him, shooting him the bird as Krit pulled out a stool for me.
“Sit, love. I’ll go get you a whiskey,” Krit said before laying one of his claiming kisses on me. They weren’t meant for me. They were meant for everyone else in the club. When I had first agreed to him kissing me to keep other guys away while I nursed a broken heart, I hadn’t expected things between Krit and me to progress the way they had.
“Thanks,” I said when he pulled back, and he sauntered over to the bar. Krit had cornered the market on walking to draw attention. Girls stopped in midsentence to watch him. Something about his bad-boy charm and ego did it for the females. Then there was the fact that he could sing.
“We were wondering if Krit had chained you up backstage when he did that disappearing act in the middle of the song,” Dewayne said, leaning back with a taunting grin on his face.