Nils might be NerdWorks, but the truth was that he had far more confidence than she did.
“How’s that for irony,” she muttered under her breath. Her fingers were less than gentle as she plucked a spindly weed from the soil.
Her confession to Nils… She had never been so honest, so…exposed. Unguarded. Admitting a weakness countered everything she wanted to believe about herself. And it left her open to attack. Or rejection.
But Nils hadn’t attacked her, hadn’t turned away from her. And instinctively she had known that if there was anyone to whom she could admit her fear, it would be him.
It had been difficult, though. Even now she felt a residual tremor of fear. A fighter pilot guarded her weakest point. Lessons she had learned at the controls of her ship, and from the men who’d passed through her life. Could she undo those lessons? They were all but hardwired into her heart.
She almost dropped the specimen tube when she heard Nils shout her name. Shoving the sample into the kit, she pulled her blaster and took off at a run back toward the Phantom. Her pulse hammered as she crested a low ridge. He could be hurt or in danger. They had done a scan and found no viable threats, but scans could be wrong.
Please don’t let it be wrong.
Coming up over the ridge, she collided with a long, lean body. Broad hands came up to grasp her arms as she took up a fighting stance.
Nils stood before her, his expression tight with worry.
“Hells,” she said on a growl, holstering her weapon. “Thought you were being eviscerated.”
“I looked up from making the modifications, and you were gone. I couldn’t find you anywhere near the ship.”
“Told you I was going to collect some specimens.”
He shook his head, and the tension from his body lessened slightly. “If you did, I didn’t hear.”
“With your head buried in circuit boards, that doesn’t surprise me.” She eyed the sonic blade in his grasp. “Planning on doing some whittling?”
His cheeks darkened as he shoved the blade back into its sheath on his boot. “If you were in trouble, I wanted to be able to protect you.”
Warmth uncurled within her. “A blaster has better range.”
“The knife was the first thing I thought of. I’d use it, if I had to.” She saw it then, how he was growing into the fullness of himself, gaining confidence, trusting his strength.
If only she had the same courage.
“Nothing but the finest for the 8th Wing.” Celene stared down at the warmed sustenance-pak. She tore the top off the foil and squeezed its contents onto her plate.
She and Nils sat at the tiny table in the main cabin of the Phantom, a chamber that also served as the galley. Over the course of the mission, they had been steadily going through the stocked rations, and were now confronting the horror that was supposed to pass for midmeal.
“Calling this food is an exercise in wishful thinking.” Using his fork, Nils prodded at what was supposed to replicate Nivalian stew. Aside from the name, and perhaps a few protein configurations, the substance on the plate had nothing in common with actual Nivalian stew, which was normally a delicious combination of long-braised rindroast and early-Solstice root vegetables.
Against her better judgment, Celene took a bite of the “stew.” She shuddered at the flavor, but forced herself to swallow. “We’ve got to eat this stuff, though. Nutrients are nutrients, no matter how appalling they taste. We need as much energy as our bodies can produce, now more than ever.”
Nils’s expression darkened. “Getting to the most dangerous phase of the mission.”
“Junior cadets make their mistakes right about now.” She took a drink of filtered water to get the taste out of her mouth. “They think the finish line is closer than it really is, get overconfident and wind up blown to asteroid dust.” Memories flickered like vids, far too clearly for her liking. She wouldn’t mind a little static when it came to watching some of her comrades cross over into the heavens. It usually wasn’t a pleasant and easy crossing, either. Fighter pilots met violent, messy ends. The best one could hope for was instantaneous vaporization. The worst… She’d seen the worst. And even years later, it still made her skin clammy and her throat close.
“There are times for confidence,” Nils said. “Not arrogance. Not when lives are at stake.”
“Your own,” she noted.
“And others’.” He frowned down at his plate. “So many are counting on us to complete this mission. If I fail—”
“We will succeed.”
His gaze held hers. “Is it always this way with you?”
“What way?”
“As if the galaxy’s already yours. All you need to do is reach out and grab it.”
She snorted. “We already know my swagger only goes so far.”
His hand covered hers. The feel of his skin against hers sent warmth along her arm and spreading through her. “You can overcome anything. Even your own fear.”
Her breath came quickly. She felt as though she were struggling to climb one of the towering cliffs of Zevi Lo. But the fall seemed so much greater.
Then he turned her hand over, so that they were pressed palm to palm. Trailed his fingers along her wrist, and he had to feel her pulse stuttering beneath his touch.
Her gaze moved from this sight to his eyes. Intelligent eyes, revealing more than brains, but strength, courage. And a depth of emotion that nearly robbed her of all air. He held nothing back from her.
He wanted her. All of her. And she wanted him.
They were on a distant, barren moon. The most dangerous phase of the mission loomed. It was time for her to jettison fear.
Wrapping her fingers around his wrist, she pulled him near. His eyes widened briefly, but his surprise didn’t last. She felt the coils of tension and power in his muscles, the fact that he had enough strength to resist her, but he didn’t. At her tug, he yielded, moving close. They leaned over the table, and their mouths met.
She could’ve been dining on a meal prepared by the celebrated Aurelian master chefs, drinking the finest roxowine. Nothing tasted better than Nils. She sank into the kiss, his flavor filling her mouth, exploring the new territory of their shared desire and her unfettered heart. Keeping one hand pressed to his, she wove the fingers of her other hand through his hair, holding him close. Yet he wasn’t pulling away. He seemed to want only one thing: to take her mouth as she took his.
His lips shaped hers, and mutual need deepened the kiss. Full and hungry, they learned taste and heat and energy, their tongues stroking against one another.
This kiss was unmasked, not shaped by the excitement after battle. It revealed need and desire, the pull of two bodies. More than bodies, for she felt a greater yearning beneath physical want. As Nils brought his free hand up to cup the underside of her jaw, as she leaned into him, she sensed their release, two constrained souls breaking free of gravity and wheeling amongst the possibility of one another.
She wanted more. Shedding the armor of Stainless Jur and her own trepidation lightened her. Her limbs felt buoyant, capable of flight. Abruptly, she stood, breaking the kiss.
His fever-bright gaze burned, and he reached for her. With an agility born from years of training, she evaded his grasp, sliding from his hands. He made a growl of protest, but the sound cut off when he saw her shove the remains of their meal off the table. Nimbly, she perched on the edge.
He was an intelligent man. He rose and positioned himself to stand between her legs. The harsh light within the Phantom carved his face into even sharper angles, and the fire that blazed in his eyes was directed not at an engineering challenge or logic problem, but her. He might be NerdWorks’ finest, but he was also a man. A man who wanted her.