I snort laughing, visualising the scene only too well.

‘Well, it’s lovely to see Paul too. You must be thrilled to have him home safe.’

Paul’s a cadet in the army and only just back from a tour of duty in Chad. Hasn’t changed a bit since I last saw him though; still wiry and muscley, with absolutely no neck at all. Just a head, then shoulders.

‘Good to see you too, Jess,’ she smiles, collapsing exhaustedly onto the sofa beside me. ‘I wasn’t even sure whether you’d come or not. I know you’ve been lying low lately. And I don’t blame you either.’

‘I’m sorry, Hannah, I really am. I should have called months ago, but half the time I could barely haul myself out of bed.’

‘Can’t have been easy. Especially for someone like you.’

I just look at her, wondering what she means, someone like me?

‘You were always so driven, I mean,’ she says, by way of explanation. ‘As long as I’ve known you, which is a long, long time, babe. Right the way through primary school, right up till we finished secondary school, even back in the days when we first started sharing that poxy flat in Beggar’s Bush together. You were just consumed with ambition. You wanted a TV career so badly. Remember when you first got the job as a runner? It was like you’d been given the golden ticket to paradise. You were like a greyhound, out of the traps and gone.’

I’d forgotten that Hannah was such a straight talker. A tell-it-like-it-is kind of gal.

‘Oh God, was I really that bad? How did you not murder me? I must have been a nightmare to live with!’

‘No, you weren’t at all,’ she grins. ‘But then, I knew where you were coming from. I knew how tough things were for you at home and how much you wanted to get out and get away. I don’t even blame you for airbrushing your past, so you could reinvent yourself as this hot, tellie-tottie babe. You worked hard and made a huge success of yourself and no one could have been more proud of you than me.’

And that’s when her tone completely changes. Now there’s hurt in her voice, that wasn’t there before. I brace myself for what’s coming.

‘But, Jessie, all I’m asking is…did you have to airbrush me out of your life too? After everything we’d been through together? When I got married and had my first baby and then moved back here, be honest, Jess, and admit it. You just stopped calling me. The odd Christmas card, but that was pretty much it.’

The guilt feels like heartburn. ‘Hannah, I’m so sorry…’

‘Don’t get me wrong, I do understand to an extent. I mean, you had your life and I had mine. And I know once you’ve had a baby, it’s very hard for your single friends to understand how different life is. Would have been nice to hear from you once in a while though, that’s all I’m saying. But you were all pally with that Emma Sheridan by then; you had new mates to play with, new places to go.’

‘I still am friends with Emma. In fact, she’s about the only person from my TV days who still bothers to pick up the phone to me.’

‘Hmm,’ says Hannah, unimpressed.

Another memory from years back resurfaces. Hannah never liked Emma. I’d completely forgotten. When they first met, all those years ago, they just didn’t get on. ‘Too sweet to be wholesome,’ Hannah always used to say about her. One of the few things she turned out to be wrong about. Although she’s right about pretty much everything else. I did airbrush Hannah out of my life and it was a horrible thing to do. I just figured our lives had drifted apart and that we’d nothing in common any more. And, to my shame, I assumed Hannah felt the same way too. Tell you something; if there’s one big life lesson the past few months have taught me, it’s this: in a single word…humility.

‘Well,’ says Hannah, topping up our glasses of wine, ‘if Madam Emma has stood by you, then I suppose that’s to her credit. But you know, even when she’s on TV, I could never take to her. Too much of a cold fish for me. She’s one of those women that never puts a foot wrong and I can totally see why they had to pair you up with her. You livened things up and weren’t afraid to fall flat on your arse, then laugh it off. Unlike Miss Ice Queen, goody-two-shoes.’

‘I can’t believe you used to watch the show…’

‘Are you kidding me? Of course I did! I’ve followed your whole career, Jessie. Kind of made me feel like I was keeping in touch with you. I’d see you on TV and read all about you in the papers, going to this party and that glamorous do. And I’d think to myself, well she certainly got what she wanted.’

‘It certainly didn’t last though,’ I say, knocking back a mouthful of wine. ‘The minute things started to unravel for me, every single one of those people vanished into thin air.’

‘I know and that must have been tough for you. Especially with what happened with Sam Hughes.’

I’ve no answer for that one. Besides, I think you’re only allowed a certain number of tears per guy and I’ve already used mine up.

‘Sorry, Jessie,’ she says, a bit more gently now. ‘I know how much he meant to you. Remember how, just after you first met him in Channel Six, we used to scroll through all the papers together to see if we could find any mention of him? Then years later, when I read that you were actually with him, I couldn’t believe it. You just went after your goal and somehow you made it happen. I thought wow, Cinderella finally got her Prince Charming.’

‘For all the good it did me,’ I smile at her wryly. ‘I suppose I’m a walking cautionary tale. You know, one of those people that you point at and say, be careful what you wish for. But I’m a very different person now.’

‘No,’ she says shaking her head firmly, with the killer insight only someone you’ve grown up with can possess. ‘You were a different person then. You used to be so hungry for it all. So driven and obsessed with shaking off your past and getting on in the world. But you know something? You’ve changed. You’re calmer now, more grounded, more realistic about life. In fact, I prefer you like this.’

‘You know something? I prefer me like this too.’

Chapter Fifteen

‘And a huge big hi to all our listeners out there, hope you’re having a great night wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. This is Jessie Woods, at The Midnight Hour,saying welcome to the show and stay tuned. The lines are open if you fancy ringing in for a chat but before we get started, I’d like to play a very special request for a very special lady. Mrs Mary Hayes of Whitehall is celebrating her birthday today, so now that it’s exactly one minute past midnight, we at Radio Dublin want to be the very first to wish you a fantastic day. And so, especially for you, here’s the Beatles singing your favourite song, “Yesterday”.’

‘That was a stunning gig…Jessie Woods, you’re a born natural at this game!’ Steve grins jubilantly at me two full hours later, the minute I’m off air after my first ever live radio show. Now given that it’s past 2 a.m., I’m kind of impressed that he’s hung around to hear the whole thing, but then I figure, he’s the boss, wouldn’t he have to? I step out of the boiling hot little DJ booth to a big thumbs up from Ian the producer and an even bigger bear hug from Steve.

Feels hilarious hugging him, as I barely come up to his shoulder, he’s that tall and gangly.

‘I can’t believe you’re still here, at this ungodly hour!’ I laugh back at him.

‘What can I say?’ Steve smiles, still in his perpetual good humour, even at this hour. ‘Gotta look after the talent, don’t we, Ian? Especially when you’re playing requests for my mum. She stayed up late to listen in to your first show, by the way, and even texted me to threaten that if I didn’t thank you, I’d be disinherited.’

I punch him playfully and then thank Ian warmly too. If it hadn’t been for the intensive crash course he gave me in the past week, I’d never in a million years have been able to pull this one off.