She shivered, a mix of revulsion and heat that she did not attempt to explain to herself. What mattered was that her first objective had been met. She wasn’t sorry that she had acted, although she knew that if the rest of her plans didn’t work out, she’d just signed her own death warrant, deliberately destroying legitimate research of use to the Union. Would Moset come after her personally? She didn’t know. More likely, the ministry would insist on a trial, the doctor their main witness against her. Because her guilt was incontrovertible, a trial, too, would mean her death.

Why had she done this thing? Why would she willingly place what was left of her career in jeopardy, risk bringing shame to her family, risk her own execution? She had thought upon it often since the day she’d assisted in sterilizing an entire community of Bajorans, and had come to realize that she did not wish to spend the rest of her life haunted by what she had helped Crell Moset create. She could still have children, might even choose to do so if she met a fitting suitor to sire them; she might, she might not…But the understanding that she had the choice was important for her, as a woman and as a Cardassian, as a responsible member of the Union. As little as she cared for the Bajoran people, she didn’t want her name to be associated with the sterilization of a species. If it was true, what Moset said, that allowing them to bear young would doom tens of thousands of them to slow starvation, then she’d just created an apocalypse for them. But their future was not set in stone. And if he was wrong, she’d left them a choice, and that did not seem to be such a great evil. They would probably choose incorrectly, anyway. They were an illogical people.

Her reasons no longer had bearing, which was a relief; she could stop thinking about that aspect. It was done, and if she hoped to survive the aftermath, she needed to act.

From the empty office, she put in a call to her father, using his secure channel, breathing deeply as she waited for the relays to go through. She was no longer certain she understood what evil was. She’d always believed it to be a deliberate thing, a conscious decision—one man chooses to kill another for personal gain; he is evil. Working with Dr. Moset had taken her certainty away about a number of things. He did not wish the Bajorans any harm; he simply saw them as a factor in his equations, another variable to be quantified and managed. He had his formulas and his experiments, he looked at the numbers, he decided how best to fulfill his purpose, and acted accordingly. It was cold and brutal, science without sentiment, and it was who and what she had been before coming to work with Doctor Moset. Evil? May as well attempt to apply morality to mathematics. The only thing she knew with any certainty anymore was that she never wanted to see Crell Moset again. She wanted her last chance at a real life, that was all.

She shifted in the doctor’s chair, deciding how much to tell her father while she waited for the last pickup. When his face finally appeared on her screen, she was ready.

“Father.”

“Kalisi!”He smiled encouragingly. “I’ve been waiting to hear from you. You’ve accepted the position at Culat, haven’t you?”

“I am about to,” she said. “My supervisor here asked me to finish the project I was working on, but I’ll be done quite soon, and free to return to Cardassia Prime.”

“That’s wonderful,”he said. “You’ll alert me as soon as your transport is scheduled, of course. We’ll want to be there to meet you, and—”

“Father, I need help.”

He stopped talking, stopped smiling, his expression at once wary and concerned. “What is it?”

“There is someone—someone who poses a threat to me, should I return home.”

“In what way?”

“My position at the university would be compromised,” she said. “This man acted as my superior.”

He waited, but she offered nothing more—nor did she have to. She was a single woman of viable age, attractive, and her father was no idealist. He sighed unhappily, probably presuming some manner of sexual blackmail.

“What would you have me do about this?”he asked.

“Your contacts at the Order,” she said. “You’ve used them before to have people…removed.”

He frowned. “I will do whatever I can to protect you, child, but you overestimate my status. I have no rank within the Order.”

“But if you had something to offer them, something of value…They will occasionally trade a favor for information, isn’t that so?”

She already knew that it was, and he nodded slowly, his eyes full of questions.

Kalisi smiled. “Contact Dost Abor. Tell him that if he can find a way to help me with my problem, I can tell him what happened to Miras Vara.”

“Miras—the girl you went to school with?”

“Please. I will explain it to you as soon as I return.” She smiled again. “I’ll be in Culat, Father. We’ll have time.”

Yannik Reyar hesitated, then nodded again.

Almost home, she thought.

A load of pulverized ore rattled and thumped endlessly along the belt, the sound lost beneath the constant roar of the giant turbines that filled the massive room. Heat waves trembled up from the floor. Dozens of dirty, sweating Bajorans stood over the line, sorting the rock with torn fingers, sending the results on to the belt that ran to the turbines; there, the ores were ground and dropped to the smelters. Another group of Bajorans shoveled the rejected material to a different belt. The air was hot and thick with dust, hard to breathe, even with the nose filters. It was hard to think.

Kira paused long enough at her shoveling to wipe a forearm across her brow. The result was a viscous gray smear of mud. Dust covered everything, made the workers look like some childhood perception of borhyas.

Weare ghosts, she thought, too tired to fight the depressing concept. At least, I am.It was only a matter of time before someone decided to point out that Kira didn’t belong on Terok Nor. Since the day the pilot hadn’t showed, she’d been tense, waiting for some heavy hand to come down on her shoulder, to drag her before the prefect or into an interrogation room. She’d spent her “free” time meditating, trying to prepare herself. She was determined that they would learn nothing from her, but she was afraid of what they might be able to pry from her mind, with their drugs and devices. She was afraid of the pain, too, afraid of being tortured to death. She didn’t want to be scared, and told herself that worrying about it was pointless, but she couldn’t help it.

The days had stretched, though, and her immediate terror gave way to other fears—like becoming one of the cowed, desperate people she’d met on the station, most of them just trying to keep their families alive. Terok Nor’s Bajoran populace had few resources and were worked to the point of exhaustion, the better to keep them from organizing in any effective way. The people she’d met had the solace of the shrine but no real hope, and every day she stayed, she feared for her own failing will. Drag herself awake to work, break for food, more work, a scant meal, then back to the inadequate shelters for not enough sleep. It was almost enough to make her wish for discovery.

The shape-shifter had promised to help her, but she knew better than to pin any hope there. Odo didn’t strike her as a liar, but he worked for the Cardassians; he owed her nothing. He hadn’t turned her in, but she thought his willing blindness was the most she could expect. If she wanted to go home, she’d have to find her own way.

The rock blurred past her, her arms aching as she hefted another scoop of slag, tipping it onto the belt. These were the thoughts that cycled through her mind while she worked, repeating themselves endlessly and uselessly. She knew she had to come up with some kind of plan, but there was no forest to hide in, no caves to which she could run, no city in which to lose herself among its wretched populace; she was so far out of her element, she felt she didn’t know how to look for the opportunities she’d need to escape, or even change her situation.