Kayden

I’m shocked by what Callie tells me and at first I don’t

understand. She makes herself throw up. Tiny, barely there Callie

makes herself throw up. But then she explains why and it makes

more sense to me than anything else in my life. I realize how

perfect we are for each other and also how disastrous we could

end up being. Because even though we can help each other pick

up the pieces of our lives, we could also break at the same time

and then nothing would be left to catch us as we crumble.

“Maybe we should go inside,” I finally say even though I

don’t want to. I want to stand in this very spot and hold onto her

forever, but we’d freeze to death.

She puts a sliver of space between us as she leans away and

slants her chin up to look at me, her hair falling back from her eyes and forehead. “I’m not sure I want to go back in after I ran out like that.”

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear as her palms travel

up my arms. “How about I go in and get your jacket while you call

Seth because I don’t want you riding on that bike.”

“But what will you do?”

I cup her cheek with my hand, desperately needing to touch

as much of her as I can. “I can put the bike in the back of the truck and then we can go for a drive or something.”

There’s a trace of a smile on her lips. “Where will we go?”

I return her smile as I sketch my finger across her yielding

bottom lip. “Wherever you want.”

A sly look comes over her and then she stands on her tiptoes

and kisses my cheek. “How about the beach?”

I cock my eyebrow and give her a funny look as she moves

back, and then I glance around at the mounds of snow in the

parking lot, near the fence line, and below the roof where the snow

is sliding off. “The beach?”

She glides her hand down my arm and places it in mine.

“Yeah, I’ll explain when Seth and Luke get here.”

I don’t know what she’s up to and I’m scared to find out. I

had a plan. I was going to stay away from her, but she’s standing

here and she understands me so much more than anyone ever has

and I’m not ready to let that feeling go just yet. “All right, you call them and I’ll go get your jacket from inside.”

She nods and starts to take her phone out of her pocket as I

head inside. A few of the people at the tables give me notable

glances as the door swings shut behind me. They’re probably the

ones who have heard the story. Gossip spreads quickly around

here and I wish I could get the hell away from their stares. From

the snow, from the town, from my home, from life.

I hurry up and grab Callie’s jacket and ignore Jenna’s

penetrating stare as I wind around the tables and hurry out the

door, relieved when it swings shut behind me. Jenna was a friend

of Daisy’s and I don’t want word to get back to Daisy that Callie

and I are together. I’m worried Jenna’s already called Daisy and

she’ll show up here in any minute. That’s the last thing I ever want

Callie to have to deal with.

I immediately bust up laughing as soon as I see Callie. I

haven’t laughed in forever and it cramps up my chest. “What are

you doing?”

The sky has blackened and snow showers down from the

vapory gray clouds. Callie has her hands on the handle of my bike,

trying to push it forward so it’s underneath the shelter of the

carport and out of the snow. Her feet are slipping against the ice

and she’s barely getting it to budge.

I step up behind her and feel her tense as I place my hands

on top of hers. “You’re going to hurt yourself,” I say, dipping my

head forward and sneaking a smell of her hair, remembering the

first time I did it. I lift her hands off the bike and step back, guiding her with me. “The snow’s not going to hurt it.”

She leans back, tips her chin up, and looks up at me. “Are

you sure? I thought I read somewhere that motorcycles were not

made for snow.”

I press my lips to her forehead and leave them there for a

moment, savoring the feel of her skin before pulling back. “Where

on earth did you hear that?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Somewhere, like in a magazine or

something.”

Shaking my head, I smile and hold up the jacket for her to

put her arms in. It’s been so long since I’ve smiled that the muscles around my lips kind of hurt. She turns to the side and slips her arm

through the sleeve, then rotates to the other side and puts her

other arm in.

I let go of the jacket and glide my palms down to her waist.

Pressing my fingertips into her, I spin her around to face me and

her eyes snap wide. I inch my fingers around to her stomach, never

taking my eyes off her as I pull the zipper up to her chin and her

breath eases out in a thin fog. My fingers shiver as I draw them

away, and then I bend forward and kiss her forehead, shutting my

eyes as I inhale her, fighting to keep my eyes open. I’ve missed the

feel of her skin over the last month and touching it instead of

dreaming about it is surreal. But it’s also wrong. I’m not the best

thing for her and she should have the best. More than that. She

should have everything and I am far from everything. Numbness

drains through my body as I realize that eventually I’m going to

have to let her go.

“Seth and Luke will be here in a minute,” she whispers,

clinging onto the bottom of my shirt, with her face pressed into

my neck.

I can’t feel my fingers, my arms, my heart. “Okay.” I feel

fucking helpless, but all I can do is stand and shiver and pretend

like it’s just from the cold.

Chapter 9

#6 Run away—run to the beach

Callie

I’m confused. I can tell that Kayden wants to hold me, but he

keeps pulling away, fighting the urge to touch me. What we need

is a long talk so I can understand what he’s thinking and what he

wants, and so he can understand what I want because I don’t think

he knows. We need a week at a beach house with plenty of alone

time, which is what Seth and Luke are trying to give us.

Later that day, we’re in Luke’s truck, which is parked out back

of the grocery store. It’s getting dark, but the lampposts light up

the snow dancing from the sky. It’s the day after Christmas but it

still looks and feels like Christmas. The buildings around us are

decorated with various colored twinkle lights and the sidewalk has

flashing candy canes and wreathes bordering it.

“I thought Callie was joking about that,” Kayden says. I’m

sitting on his lap with my back leaning against the door. The