“Something with Greyson I’m guessing.”

He nods his head up and down. “I panicked.”

“I’m familiar with the term,” I tell him. “But what did you

panic about?”

“About—” He lowers his voice and moves aside as the door

opens and a cluster of women enter. One shoots him a glare and

he returns it with equal animosity. “About our relationship.”

“Yours and Greyson’s?”

“Yeah, I think I’m having flashbacks.”

The women filling up the restroom are listening intently, so

he grabs my arm and leads me into the handicapped stall. Locking

the door, he lets go of me and runs his fingers through his hair. He

looks uneasy, which is weird because he rarely does.

“Seth, whatever it is, please just tell me,” I say, leaning

against the wall. “You know you can tell me anything.”

He pulls a wary face. “It’s about intimacy.”

I squirm uncomfortably at the word, like it’s a reflex instilled

inside my body. “I can handle it.”

He shakes his head. “Are you sure?”

I step forward, straightening my shoulders. “Yes, I’m your

best friend and you can tell me anything.”

He sighs and starts to try to pace in the small amount of

space. “I can’t go through with it… and not because I’m worried

about finally going that far. It’s because I keep having flashbacks.”

“About what?” I keep my voice calm.

He stops pacing and his arm falls to the side. “Of Braiden.”

Braiden was Seth’s very first boyfriend and the guy who was

solely responsible for letting Seth’s ass get kicked by the football

team to avoid facing the rumors swarming about their relationship.

“Do you have feelings for him?” I ask, flicking the latch of the

door with my pinkie nail.

“No, it’s not that…” He wavers. “It’s… it’s about getting my

heart broken.”

All this time Seth has seemed so strong, but just like

everyone else he has his own fears and I need to be there for him

like he’s always there for me. I step into his shoes for a minute and become the comforting best friend who tries to help ease the pain.

“It’s going to be okay.” I take a step forward and place my

hand on his arm. “Greyson’s not Braiden.”

“I know that.” He sighs and places his hand over mine. “But

sometimes I find myself going back to that place where I’m lying in

the dirt and they’re kicking the shit out of me.”

I wrap my arms around him and hug him, noting how safe I

feel in the closeness. “I know, but sometimes moving forward is

the only way we can escape our pasts, right? At least that’s what

you’re always telling me.”

“I know,” he whispers and his arms circle around me. He pulls

me closer. “And I know nothing will happen. Greyson’s not Braiden

and he loves me, but I just keep thinking about that God damn

day. I was so fucking happy, thinking life was perfect, and then

they showed up all piled into the back of that fucking truck like a

bunch of robots all following what the other one does. And…” He

drifts off and I can tell he’s about to cry. “And I can’t stop picturing his face—the hate in his eyes, like he was blaming me that he was

part of it.”

I hold very still and give him all the time he needs to collect

himself. Seth being himself, it doesn’t take him too long before

he’s pulling away. He wipes the corners of his eyes with his

fingertips and he puffs out a breath. “Anyway, what I was going to

say before I started bawling like a baby was that I was feeling a

little scared about moving forward and I might have said some

things to Greyson that weren’t very nice.”

I reach for a roll of toilet paper and hand him some tissue. “It

could be… sometimes saying sorry is actually easy.”

He dabs the rest of the tears away with the tissue and then

tosses it into the garbage bin that’s on the wall. “Yeah, but

sometimes it’s not.”

“But sometimes it is.”

That gets him to smile. “Look at you. Being all wise.” He

swings his arm around my shoulder. “I think it must be from all the

time you spend around me.”

I crack a smile as I unlatch the door. “It must be.”

By the time we walk out of the bathroom, the room is even

more crammed. I don’t like it. It makes me feel anxious and

ashamed about the dress I’m wearing. Each time someone brushes

up against me, I cringe internally.

I grasp Seth’s hand as he guides me to our table where Luke

is talking to some girl in a tight black dress. Her blonde hair is

done up, her cleavage is nearly popping out of her dress, and she’s

sitting in my seat. As we approach the table, her eyes scale me and

then she looks away, disregarding me.

“Hey,” Seth says before she can say anything. He reaches

across the table and grabs two tall shot glasses from the eight that

are circling the middle of the table. “I think Callie and I are going to take shots and dance.”

Luke nods and then starts chatting with the girl. I step

behind Seth and he turns to me and offers me a shot. I’m

distracted, and without even thinking, I put the rim up and tip my

head back. The alcohol burns and tears at my esophagus.

“Blah.” I gag, shoving the empty glass back at Seth. “I didn’t

mean to drink that.”

Seth giggles at me and angles back his head, knocking the

shot back. He takes my glass and his and puts them back on the

table. One tips over, but he doesn’t bother picking it up. He holds

my hand and tugs me toward the dance floor.

“Do we really have to?” My head’s a little blurry and my legs

feel like rubber. “I don’t feel very good.”

Seth nods as he spins around, doing a little wiggly thing with

his hips before striking a pose. “You and I need to relax.”

I glance around at the people surrounding us who are

grinding against each other to the low beat of the sultry song.

“Dancing’s never been relaxing for me.”

He shuffles toward me, snapping his fingers and rocking

back and forth. “Come on. I saw you dancing in the car ride when

we were heading to Afton.”

I shake my head, but my lips turn upward. I start to dance

with him, not going too overboard, but enough that I feel my

mood lifting. When the song switches to a slow one, Seth inches in

and puts his hands on my hips. As we rock to the rhythm of the

song and with each sway, a weight builds on my chest. My mind is