“Guys, I’m really sorry for everything.” I glanced down at my plate, but forced my eyes back up. “I know I was a terror and I wish… I wish none of you’d had to go through that.”

Marcus returned to his seat. “We know you weren’t yourself, Alexandria. We understand.”

Beside him, Lea cleared her throat. “I actually preferred the crazy Apollyon version to the Elixired up one, to be honest.” She glanced at me, thick lashes hiding amethyst eyes. “That was kind of freaky watching you hide behind Aiden.”

“You were pretty different,” Luke agreed, and then shuddered. “Man, the Elixir is no joke.”

“You hid in a closet,” Deacon felt the need to inform me.

Poking at my noodles, I frowned as fragments of my time on the Elixir slid into place. “I bet that was amusing to watch.”

“I don’t know if I would say it was amusing,” a new voice added.

My head jerked up and my heart toppled over itself. Aiden stood just inside the kitchen door, dressed as always—as a Sentinel. He stalked toward the table and picked up the carton of brown rice. He leaned against the counter, the curve of his jaw hard, eyes like flint.

They met mine. He gestured at my plate with his carton. “Eat. You need to eat.”

Everyone stared at their plates as I picked up the fork I hadn’t even realized I’d dropped. I dared a peek at Aiden as I twirled my fork around the noodles. He was watching, always watching.

Deacon offered me a pair of chopsticks. “You shouldn’t be using a fork.”

I shot him a bland look. “Do I look like I know how to use chopsticks?”

He grinned. “Poser.”

“Punk,” I retorted.

His eyes rolled. “It’s not that hard. Here, let me show you.”

Deacon’s impromptu chopsticks lesson and my absolute failure at mastering them eased the sudden awkward tension around the table. Laughing, I gave up when Aiden finally ordered his brother to let me eat in peace.

Digging in, I listened to the conversation around me. There was talk of nothing important and I figured they were waiting for me to finish eating before the real, necessary conversations took place.

I finished off everything I’d been given, ate the remaining rice that Aiden had dumped on my plate as he prowled around the table, and then finished off the sugary goodness of the donuts.

Stomach full, I leaned back in my chair and sighed. “That hit the spot and then some.”

Olivia patted my stomach. “You need it… and probably a couple of Big Macs, too.”

My eyes widened. “Mmm, Big Macs… please tell me there’s a McDonald’s around here? Actually, where am I?”

Everyone grew silent, and no one looked at me.

“What? What?” I sat up, looking around the table. And then it hit me. “You guys don’t trust me, do you?”

Lea was the first to meet my eyes. “Okay. I’ll rain on this happy parade. How do we know you’re still not connected to Seth?”

“She’s not.” Aiden said, picking up the empty cartons and tossing them in a black trash bag he carried. “Trust me, she’s not connected to him anymore.”

Deacon snorted.

I glared at him.

Lea settled back in her chair, folding her arms. “Is there any other concrete proof, other than you telling us to trust you?”

Aiden glanced at me and I quickly looked away. I doubted Lea wanted to hear about that kind of proof. “I’m not connected to Seth. I promise you.”

“Promises are weak; you could be faking it,” she shot back.

“Lea, dear, she has no reason to fake it.” Laadan smiled gently. “If she was connected to the First, she wouldn’t be sitting here.”

“And my brother wouldn’t be cleaning up after us, right?” Deacon slumped back, as if it had just occurred to him that Aiden had been seconds away from death. I wanted to hide under the table as Deacon shook his head, dumbfounded. “Gods, we’d have to get a maid then or something.”

Aiden smacked the back of Deacon’s head as he passed by. “I feel the love.”

His brother tipped his head back, grinning.

Taking a breath, I stood and clenched the back of my chair. “I’m not connected to him and I’m pretty sure he can’t get through the shields. But I know he’s there. I can feel him.”

Aiden stopped and turned to me.

Whoops, better clarify that. “I mean, I can feel him, but he can’t reach me, not really. There’s just a low-level buzz. Nothing like before. He can’t get to me. I’m pretty sure.”

“Pretty sure?” Marcus asked, throat working.

I nodded and took another breath. “Look, I can’t say that something freaky won’t happen. I don’t know what he’s really capable of, but he’s going to have to try really hard to get past these shields.”

“You’ll be okay,” Aiden said. Tying off the garbage bag, muscles popped in his arms. “He won’t break through.”

Forcing a smile, I knew Aiden believed that. “And you’ll know the second he does. I don’t think I have the patience to try to fool anyone.”

Luke barked out a short laugh. “Don’t I know that.”

“Let’s take the conversation to a more comfortable place, then.” Marcus stood, grasping his glass of what I assumed was wine. I eyed the crystal longingly. “I’m sure all of us have a lot of questions.”

The group followed Marcus, but I stayed behind. Picking up the empty cans, I brought them over to the trashcan Aiden was placing a fresh bag in.

“Cleaning up?” he asked, fitting the bag to the can. “This is unexpected.”

“I’m a new girl.” I dumped the cans. “Are you okay?”

Aiden hooked a finger into the belt of my jeans and led me over to the sink. Then he rolled up my sleeves, turned on the tap and picked up the hand soap.

I rolled my eyes, but shoved my hands under the warm water. “Aiden?”

“What? You’re going to have sticky hands and be touching everything.” He squirted the apple-scented soap on my hands. “You’ll leave little fingerprints all over the place.”

I watched my hands disappear under his larger ones and sort of forgot about what I was asking. Who knew washing hands could be so… distracting? “Are you concerned about CSI visiting the place?”

“You never know.”

I let him finish, because who was I to stop his OCD at the moment, then I dried my hands. “That’s not what I meant. Are you okay?”

“Are you?”

I balled my freshly clean hands into fists. “Yes, I’m okay. Answer my question.”

He tilted to his head to the side. “What did you mean earlier about being able to feel Seth?”

So was this what had him suddenly uptight? “You know what it’s like when you’re in a house with a TV on mute? There’s that weird frequency you can feel?” When he nodded, I smiled. “It’s like that. He’s just there, but he can’t reach me.”

There was a pause. “Have you had any headaches?”

Confused, I shook my head. “No. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” he said, and he smiled. “And I’m okay, Alex. I’m the last person you should worry about.”

“But I do worry.” There was so much to worry about. Turning back to the fridge, I stretched up to grab a bottle of water. As I pulled one down, it revealed another bottle, but it was different.

The contents had been emptied out and replaced with vibrant blue liquid.

Aiden’s sharp inhale was like a blast of cold air. “Alex—”

Ignoring him, I dropped my bottle and reached for the other one. Hands shaking, I wrapped my fingers around the plastic. I knew what was in the bottle. I knew what harmlessly sloshed around inside would carry a sickeningly sweet aroma and could rob me of who I was in minutes.

Aiden swore under his breath.

Facing him, I held the bottle. “This is the Elixir, isn’t it?”

His hand clenched at his side. “It is.”

I glanced down at the water bottle. Two fears in life: losing myself to Seth and losing myself to the Elixir. Both had happened, and somehow I’d come back out of those rabbit holes. But holding it in my hands, I couldn’t deny the raw taste of fear building in the back of my throat.