“How are you?”

“Fine, thank you.”

“What happened?”

“An altercation.”

“It looks like someone altercated the hell out of you. Wanna tell me who did it?”

I asked the cliché if he would pour me a cup of water. He did and I quickly considered the situation. I had beaten on Junior pretty brutally, and I wasn’t a particularly bitter person. Although he didn’t succeed in either maiming or blinding me, he had broken a front tooth. But none of the injuries were really debilitating. Perhaps I realized that despite the pain and agony I was pretty lucky and it was a good time to cash my chips in and vamoose.

“I don’t want to press any charges.”

“Pardon me?”

“What good would it do?”

“What good? I’ll arrest him, stick him behind bars.”

“Can you arrest his mother’s loneliness? Or put my greed behind bars? Can you arrest his father’s neglect? ‘Cause they were all accomplices.”

“Spare me the melodrama. I get that in court,” he said and then as if I didn’t know, the cop explained. “This kid pounded the shit out of you. Now, why don’t you tell me who it was and I’ll make sure he doesn’t do this again.”

“He’ll never do this again. He’s actually a pretty decent kid.”

“I don’t believe this…” the officer pressed further. He wanted righteous outrage, but I was tired. He pressed until I feigned a massive headache, and only then did he go away. The rest of the day I spent asleep; I was still pretty drugged out. The next evening, I was allowed to make a local call. I called the theater. As soon as Miguel recognized my voice he hollered, “What the hell’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Marty called and the police came by here. Where are you? What the fuck is going on?”

“What did he tell you?” In other words, do you know the truth?

“No one would tell me a thing. Marty said you raped somebody. But then he hung up and said he’d call me back later.”

“I accidentally slept with Ternevsky’s girlfriend.”

“Jumping Jesus!”

“But I didn’t rape anybody. She was just as high as I was. I’ll deal with it.”

“Where are you anyway?”

“I’m at the hospital, I got banged up a bit.”

“Which hospital?”

“Beth Israel, why?”

He then paused, and I thought I heard someone whispering to him, and then he asked, “What happened?”

“I got mugged.”

“Well, are you okay?”

“Slightly busted up, but I’ll recover.”

“It’s not at all related to the Ternevsky episode, is it?”

“No, ’course not.”

“Well, how long will you be out?”

“I should be coming by soon. First I’m gonna straighten things out and then I’m going to be staying a bit with Donny.”

“Listen, what’s your number? I’ll call you right back.”

“I’m at a public phone in the hall and there are people waiting for it. I’ll call you later.” Quickly I hung up and dialled Ternevsky. I didn’t mind helping Janus out, but there was no way that I was going to end up in prison over it.

“Hello.” I heard that cute little voice of hers.

“Janus, thank God I got you. What the fuck is going, on?”

“Sorry, but there’s no Henry here, you must have the wrong number.”

“Don’t fuck with me. I’ll tell Ternevsky the truth.”

“Absolutely.”

“Is he there?” I asked.

“Exactly.”

“Do I have any reason to be worried?”

“None at all.” She kept her delightful tone.

“I’m at Long Island College Hospital in Brooklyn. I got busted up pretty badly and…”

“Fine, sorry, bye.” And she hung up. An attendant wheeled me back to my room. For the next twenty-four hours, sleep was pills and wakefulness was pain. Finally, on the third day, the nurse woke me with a paper cup filled with pills of different colors. I spent that morning thinking about Miguel. Incipient anxieties took a paranoid turn for the worse. Gradually each of his reasonable questions seemed to have a duplicitous underside. For the first time I realized that Miguel had all my money. Questions blistered: Who was the other voice in the room? Why did he want my number? Why did he want to know how long I was going to be away? When the doctor made his morning rounds, I asked him what time I’d be able to check out.

“Hopefully, in another week or two.”

“Another week or two! You don’t understand, I’ve got to go today.”

“Today’s out of the question.”

“Look this isn’t a prison, and I can heal at home for free.”

“You’re in a charity ward. You’re not paying a cent.”

“I might lose a lot more than you can imagine.”

“The X-rays show that your skull was fractured. But the brain is much softer and far more delicate, and there is a short grace period between the time we can detect damage and the time the damage becomes fatal.”

“As soon as I feel faint I’ll hop in a cab and rush right over.”

“You’re still here for observation. We haven’t even made a full diagnosis yet. For all we know, you have a hemorrhage and if the inter-cranial pressure gets too great, and we’re not there to operate immediately, you could die.”

“Doctor, I know that you’ve got my interest at heart, but if I stick around here I’m definitely going to lose my business and I won’t have any life to return to.”

“Would you rather have the luxuries or the life to enjoy them with?”

“Let me put it this way: I’d rather live a short high-quality life than a long bitter existence to mock myself with.”

When he started nodding his head in resignation, I replied, “I’ll make you a deal. As soon as I secure all my loose ends, I’ll check back in.”

“This isn’t a hotel. The bed space in the charity ward is always in short supply. If you leave here, I can’t guarantee a return ticket.”

“Look, don’t try to scare me. I got to go. This is my life.”

“Fine,” said he, and was gone in a huff. A few seconds later the nurse came in with a clipboard. On it was a form freeing the hospital of all liabilities. She said I had to sign it before I could go. I signed it, and for the last time, she sponged me, redressed my bandages, and got my clothes. As I slowly dressed, she asked the name of the recipient picking me up. It was for the records.

“Irving R. Towers,” I replied, “but he’s as shy as the moon in the daytime, and he’s probably waiting in his car around the corner.”

“Fine.”

She was gone. The doctor returned and handed me a small menu of prescriptions. He quickly reviewed the particulars of how, when, and why each pill should be taken. I didn’t listen because I couldn’t even afford a cough drop. I was issued a cane, but then helped into a wheelchair and the hospital attendant quickly wheeled me out to the front lobby. Slowly I angled my bulk between my legs and cane and wobbled down Atlantic Avenue.

Everything reflected my aches. The sky was overcast. The air was still cold and uncirculated. The streets were still filthy and hard. The people were still bitter and ugly. The entire city of New York was sick and in desperate need of a vacation. Turning down Court Street, 1 finally found my old and undiscrimmating friend Irving, a.k.a. the IRT. After the patient wait came the not-empty train. I took the closest seat and counted each stop with a silent scream. As the train screeched into the stations, the metal bar jawed my foot-stomped ribs, taking sharp bites out of my lungs. Quickly I thought of a game plan. First, I had to secure my holdings with Miguel, and next I had to go somewhere and recuperate. In order to check into the YMCA, I remembered that I needed money and ID. I could borrow the money but I’d lost my ID ages ago.

I got off at Union Square and slowly caned it over to the Zeus. The office door was unlocked, but the office was empty. Miguel was probably coming right back. Opening the lost-and-found drawer in the desk, I saw there were a bunch of wallets. Pickpockets usually worked the theaters; swiftly they’d grab the money and dispose of the evidence and we’d be too lazy to call the dispossessed. Looking at his ID, I realized my name today was Sven Cohen. Suddenly Miguel opened the door.