I found myself face to face with the Regent. I gave him a curt greeting and started to pass him by; he laid a hand on my arm to detain me, wishing me the greetings of the season.

“I thank you, my lord. Have you seen my father?”

The old man said mildly, “If you’re storming off to complain, Lew, why not come directly to me? It was I who asked my granddaughter to present the girl to you.” He turned to the buffet. “Have you had supper? The fruits are exceptional this season. We have ice-melons from Nevarsin; they’re not usually obtainable in the market.”

“Thank you but I’m not hungry,” I said. “Is it permitted to ask why you take such an interest in my marriage, my lord? Or am I to feel flattered that you interest yourself, without asking why?”

“I take it the girl was not to your liking, then.”

“What could I possibly have against her? But forgive me, sir, I have a certain distaste for airing my personal affairs before half the city of Thendara.” I moved my hand to indicate the dancing crowds. He smiled genially.

“Do you really think anyone here is intent on anything but his own affairs?” He was calmly filling a plate for himself with assorted delicacies. Sullenly, I followed suit. He moved toward a couple of reasonably isolated chairs and said, “We can sit here and talk, if you like. What’s the matter, Lew? You’re just about the proper age to be married.”

“Just like that,” I said, “and I’m not to be consulted?”

“I thought we were consulting you,” Hastur said, taking a forkful of some kind of shredded seafood mixed with greens. “We did not, after all, summon you to the chapel at a few hours’ notice, to be married on the spot, as was done only a few years ago. I was given no chance even to see my dear wife’s face until a few minutes before the bracelets were locked on our wrists, yet we lived together in harmony for forty years.”

My father, speaking of his first years on Terra and being plunged abruptly into their alien customs, had once used a phrase for the way I felt now: culture shock. “With all deference, Lord Hastur, times have changed too much for that to be a suitable way of making marriages. Why is there such a hurry?”

Hastur’s face suddenly hardened. “Lew, do you really understand that if your father had broken his neck on those damnable stairs, instead of a few ribs and his collarbone, you would now be Lord Alton of Armida, with all that implies? My own son never lived to see his son. With our world in the shape it’s in, none of us can afford to take chances with the heirship of a Domain. What is your specific objection to marriage? Are you a lover of men?” He used the very polite castaphrase and I, used to the much coarser one customary in the Guards, was not for a moment quite certain what he meant. Then I grinned without amusement. “That arrow went wide of the mark, my lord. Even as a boy I had small taste for such games. I may be young, but that young I am not.”

“Then what can it possibly be?” He seemed honestly bewildered. “Is it Linnell you wish to marry? We had other marriage-plans for her, but if both of you really wish—”

I said in honest outrage, “Evanda protect us both! Lord Hastur, Linnell is my sister!”

“Not blood-kin,” he said, “or not so close as to be a grave risk to your children. It might be a suitable match after all.”

I took a spoonful of the food on my plate. It tasted revolting and I swallowed and set the plate down. “Sir, I love Linnell dearly. We were children together. If it were only to share my life, I could think of no happier person to spend it with. But,” I fumbled to explain, a little embarrassed, “after you’ve slapped a girl for breaking your toys, taken her into bed with you when she had a nightmare or was crying with a toothache, pinned up her skirts so she could wade in a brook, or dressed her, or brushed her hair—it’s almost impossible to think of her as a—a bedmate, Lord Hastur. Forgive this plain speaking.”

He waved that away. “No, no. No formalities. I asked you to be honest with me. I can understand that. We married your father very young to a woman the Council thought suitable, and I have been told they lived together in complete harmony and total indifference for many years. But I don’t want to wait until you’ve fixed your desire on someone wholly unsuitable, either. Your father married at the last to please himself and—forgive me, Lew—you and Marius have been suffering for it all your lives. I am sure you would rather spare your own sons that.”

“Can’t you wait until I havesons? Don’t you ever get tired of arranging other people’s lives for them?”

His eyes blazed at me, “I got tired of it thirty years ago but someone has to do it! I’m old enough to sit and think over my past, instead of carrying the burden of the future, but it seems to be left to me! What are youdoing to arrange your life in the proper way and save me the trouble?” He took another forkful of salad and chewed it wrathfully.

“How much do you know of the history of Comyn, Lew? In the far-back days, we were given power and privilege because we servedour people, not because we ruled them. Then we began to believe we had these powers and privileges because of some innate superiority in ourselves, as if having laranmade us so much better than other people that we could do exactly as we pleased. Our privileges are used now, not to compensate us for all the things we have given up to serve the people, but to perpetuate our own powers. You’re complaining that your life isn’t your own, Lew. Well, it isn’t and it shouldn’t be. You have certain privileges—”

“Privileges!” I said bitterly. “Mostly duties I don’t want and responsibilities I can’t handle.”

“Privileges,” he repeated, “which you must earn by serving your people.” He reached out and lightly touched the mark of Comyn, deeply blazed in my flesh just above the wrist. His own arm bore its twin, whitened with age. He said, “One of the obligations which goes with that, a sacred obligation, is to make certain your gift does not die out, by fathering sons and daughters to inherit it from you, to serve the people of Darkover in their turn.”

Against my will, I was moved by his words. I had felt this way during my journey to the outlands, that my position as heir to Comyn was a serious thing, a sacred thing, that I held an important link in an endless chain of Altons, stretching from prehistory to the future. For a moment I felt that the old man followed my thoughts, as he laid his fingertip again on the mark of Comyn on my wrist. He said, “I know what this cost you, Lew. You won that gift at risk of your life. You have begun well by serving at Arilinn. What little remains of our ancient science is preserved there against the day when it may be fully recovered or rediscovered. Do you think I don’t know that you young people there are sacrificing your personal lives, giving up many things a young man, a young woman, holds dear? I never had that option, Lew, I was born with a bare minimum of laran. So I do what I can with secular powers, to lighten that burden for you others who bear the heavier ones. So far as I know, you have never misused your powers. Nor are you one of those frivolous young people who want to enjoy the privilege of rank and spend your life in amusements and folly. Why, then, do you shrink from doing this duty to your clan?”

I suddenly wished that I could unburden my fears and misgivings to him. I could not doubt the old man’s personal integrity. Yet he was so completely entangled in his single-minded plan for political aims on Darkover that I distrusted him, too. I would not let him manipulate me to serve those aims. I felt confused, half convinced, half more defiant than ever. He was waiting for my answer; I shrank from giving it. Telepaths get used to facing things head-on—you have to, in order to stay even reasonably sane—but you don’t learn to put things easily into words. You get used, in a place like Arilinn, to knowing that everyone in your circle can share all your feelings and emotions and desires. There is no reticence there, none of the small evasions and courtesies which outsiders use in speaking of intimate things. But Hastur could not read my thoughts, and I fumbled at putting it into words that would not embarrass either of us too much.