Grant grinned. “I missed you. I’ve had to put up with Rush’s sulking ass. So trust me I missed the fuckin’ hell outta you.”

I could tell by his teasing tone he had wanted to make a joke. But thinking about Rush being upset didn’t make me smile. It just reminded me of everything. “Sorry,” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure what else to say to that.

“Just glad you’re back.”

I waited. I knew there was more he wanted to say. I could sense it. He was taking his time and I figured he was trying to decide exactly how to say whatever it was he wanted to say to me.

“I’m sorry about what happened. How it happened. And Nan. She can come off as the world’s biggest spoiled bitch but she’s had a screwed up childhood. It warped her or something. If you’d lived with Georgianna as your mother you’d understand. Rush was a boy so he didn’t get it as bad. But Nan, damn, her world was fucked. It isn’t an excuse for her, just an explanation.”

I didn’t respond. I had nothing to say to that. I didn’t feel sympathy of any kind for Nan. Obviously the men in her life did. Must be nice.

“Regardless of all that, what she did was wrong. How it was kept from you was really screwed up. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but honestly, I wasn’t even aware you and Rush had anything going until that night at the club when he lost it over the snails. I’d noticed he was attracted to you but so were most males in this town. I figured he was the one guy who wouldn’t make a move on you because of his loyalty to Nan… and well, what you represented to the both of them.” Grant stopped walking and I turned to look back at him.

“I’ve never seen him like this. Ever. It’s like he’s hollow. I can’t get through to him. He doesn’t smile. He doesn’t even pretend to enjoy life anymore. He’s different since you left. Even though he wasn’t honest and it looks like he was just protecting Nan… you two just didn’t have enough time. Nan has been his responsibility since he was a kid. That was all he knew. Then you came into his world and apparently rocked it overnight. If he’d had more time he would have told you. I know he would’ve. But he didn’t. It wasn’t fair to him. He was falling for this girl he had always thought had been the reason his sister was without a dad. His belief system was changing but it was hard for him to work through it too.”

I just stared at him. Not because I didn’t agree. I had already worked through all this in my head. I understood what he was saying. The problem was… it didn’t change things. Even if he had been going to tell me, it didn’t change who he was or who Nan was. What they represented to me. My mother’s last three years on this earth had been hell while they lived in their fancy houses and flitted from one social event to the next. Their belief in the lies they told me was the one thing I didn’t think I could ever get over.

“Damn. I’m probably butchering this to shit. I just wanted to talk to you and make sure you knew that Rush… he needs you. He’s sorry. And I don’t think he’s ever going to move on from you. If he tries to talk about it tomorrow at least hear him out.”

“I’ve forgiven him, Grant. I just can’t forget. What we were or what we were headed toward is over. It will never be again. I can’t let it. My heart won’t allow me to. But I’ll always listen to him. I care about him.”

Grant let out a weary sigh. “I guess that’s better than nothing.”

It was all I had to offer.

Rush

Blaire came walking out of Bethy’s apartment holding two cups of coffee before I could get out of the car. I opened my door and stepped out of the Range Rover. Her hair was loose and hanging down her back. I loved it like that. The shorts she had on barely covered up her legs and were going to make it hard to concentrate once she was sitting in my car. They would ride up her thighs. I tore my eyes off her legs and met her steady gaze. She was forcing a small smile.

“I brought you some coffee since you got out of bed so early for me. I know early isn’t your thing.” Her voice was unsure and soft as she spoke. It was going to be my mission to change that on this road trip. I wanted her comfortable with me again.

“Thank you,” I replied with a smile I hoped eased her nerves as I opened the passenger side door for her. I’d been unable to sleepsince three this morning. I was anxious. I was pretty sure I had gone through two pots of coffee since then. I wasn’t about to tell her that though. She’d brought me coffee. A real smile tugged on my lips as I closed her door and headed back to my side.

She was holding her cup up close to her mouth taking small sips when I glanced over at her. “If you want music, I promised it was all yours,” I reminded her. She didn’t move but a smile lifted the corners of her lips.

“Thanks. Trust me, I remember. I’m okay right now. You can listen to something if you want to. I need to wake up first.”

I didn’t care about the radio. I just wanted to talk to her. What we talked about wasn’t important. Talking to her was all I cared about.

“So, what’s the plan? Does Cain know we’re coming to get your things?” I asked.

She shifted in her seat and I forced myself to keep my eyes on the road and not her legs. “No. I wanted to explain to him and his grandmother, Granny Q, about this. I also need to convince him to sell my truck for me and send me the money. It won’t make it back out here again. It’s in bad shape.”

Her truck was old. The idea that she wouldn’t be riding around in it was a relief. However, I wasn’t crazy about her not having a vehicle. How the hell I was supposed to fix that I didn’t know. She would never take a car from me. Maybe her truck could be fixed and made safe.

“I could take it in and have it checked out while you’re packing up. Could be it just needs a couple things done to it.”

She sighed. “Thanks but don’t bother. Cain already took it in and had it checked. He had them fix it up so I could get around town but he said it was a temporary fix. It needs more work than I can afford.”

I gripped the steering wheel tighter. The idea that Cain had been taking care of her drove me insane. I hated that he’d been the one to have her truck checked out. That it was his family that helped her when she needed it most. Mine had fucked her life up. I wasn’t there for her to call when she needed help.

“So are you and Cain...?” What the hell was I asking? Were they what? Fuck. I didn’t want to hear this.

“We are friends, Rush. We have been all our life. My feelings about him haven’t changed.”

I eased my grip on the steering wheel and ran one of my sweaty palms on my jeans. Damn, she drove me crazy. If I was going to ease her back into being comfortable with me I needed to calm down. That was going to start with me not beating the shit outta Cain when I saw him.

Before I could say anything else Blaire leaned forward and turned on the radio. She found a country station on my satellite radio and then leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. I had pried too much. She was politely asking me to shut up. I could take the hint.

Thirty minutes of silence passed before my phone rang. Nan’s name appeared on the screen in my dash. Damn iPhone was programmed to my car. Normally that came in handy and made things hands free. But having Blaire see Nan’s name wasn’t cool. I hadn’t wanted a reminder. My plan was to make this day reminder free. I clicked ignore and the radio started playing again.

I didn’t look over at Blaire but I felt her eyes on me. It was real hard not to meet her gaze.

“You could have talked to her. She’s your sister,” Blaire said so softly I almost missed it over the music.

“She is. But she represents things I don’t want you thinking about today.”

Blaire didn’t stop looking at me. It was taking all my strength to keep this casual. Jerking the car over and grabbing her face and telling her how important she was and how much I loved her wasn’t what she needed right now.