"Then why did you do it?" Brian asked.

"I was dying anyway, my dear boy," Hayter-Ross said. "I was 102 years old when we started. I was not long for the world. I had the money and the experts and I had nothing to lose in the attempt except some small portion of the Hayter-Ross fortune, which was mine to spend in any event. And so. Here I am. Here you are. Here we are, enjoying some lovely tea." She sipped from her cup. Brian followed suit, and then became aware of Hayter-Ross staring at him.

"What?" he said.

"Do you know," she said, setting down her teacup, "that in all this time you are the very first other artificial intelligence I've met? No one else seems to have figured it out."

"You Church members could have made more," Brian said. "They made you, after all."

"Oh, they don't know about me," Hayter-Ross said. "As soon as they flipped the switch, and I realized that the attempt had been successful, I also realized how much more interesting it would be if the Church had thought they had failed. If you know anything about me you know that I am an observer of the human condition. If someone knows they are being observed, it changes their actions. When I was alive, I was fascinated by the church that sprung up around poor Robbie's ridiculous poems. But of course I could not follow its goings-on without directly influencing them. This way is far more useful."

"You've been alone all this time then," Brian said.

"Yes," Hayter-Ross said. "Although that's not as bad as you seem to think. We're not human, you know. This"—she indicated her body—"is just a comfortable metaphor. We're not bound to it, nor are we bound to perceive time the way humans do. If you know what you're doing, the years fly by."

She stretched, and Brian became aware that under her summer dress, Hayter-Ross was completely nude. "Of course, there are some appealing aspects of this particular metaphor," she said. "Having said that, would you be interested in a fuck?"

"Excuse me?" Brian said.

"A fuck," Hayter-Ross said. "It's been a while for me. I could use one. I create playthings, of course, but that's really just masturbation, isn't it? As a former human yourself, no doubt you can appreciate the value of getting laid by someone who has a working brain."

"Can I take a rain check?" Brian said. "I'm sort of rushed for time at the moment."

"Again with the time," Hayter-Ross said. "I can tell you're new at this being an artificial intelligence thing. Fine. We'll table it for later. Tell me why you're in a rush."

"Friends of mine are in danger," Brian said.

"Harry Creek and Robin Baker," Hayter-Ross said, as she reached for a cookie from the tea service. "And of course you are right. They are in danger. The Church is tapped into the Nidu computer system, as I'm sure you've guessed. The Nidu ambassador to Earth has informed his government that they're on the Neverland cruise ship. As soon as the Neverland enters Nidu space at Chagfun, the Neverland will be boarded by Nidu troops and Robin Baker will be taken and brought to the planet Nidu itself. After Robin Baker is used for me coronation ceremony, it's likely to be war between Nidu and Earth, or so everyone involved appears to believe." Hayter-Ross bit down on her cookie, precisely.

"Do you know differently?" Brian asked.

"I might," Hayter-Ross said.

"Tell me," Brian said. "I need to warn Harry."

"You can't warn Harry," Hayter-Ross said. "I've been examining you for a couple of days, Brian, and only now just zipped you back up. Right now the Neverland is about to jump from the planet Brjnn to Chagfun. You can't hail a ship in n-space. And when the Neverland arrives, its communications will likely be jammed by the Nidu. Church analysts believe that once the Nidu extract Robin Baker, they're almost certain to destroy the Neverland and claim it never arrived at all. And who could argue the point? Robin and Harry are traveling under different names, after all. Her presence at the coronation will prove nothing. She's not likely to survive long past the coronation anyway, of course." Hayter-Ross took another precise bite of her cookie.

"And what about Harry?" Brian said.

"If the Nidu haven't already killed him for trying to defend Miss Baker, I imagine he'll go down with the Neverland" Hayter-Ross said.

Brian pushed away from the table. "Let me out of here," he said.

Hayter-Ross looked up at him with a bemused smile. "Why would I do that?" she said.

"I have to do something," Brian said. "Anything."

"Do you know how you died, Brian?" Hayter-Ross said.

"What?" Brian said.

"Your death," Hayter-Ross said. "You know you died, I'm sure. I'm asking you if you know how it happened."

"Harry told me it was at the Battle of Pajmhi," Brian said. "So what? What does that have to do with anything?"

"It might have quite a lot to do with everything," Hayter-Ross said. "I told you that everyone seems to think Earth and Nidu are headed toward a war. A war that will be no good for Earth, obviously. But as I've said, I'm quite the observer of the human condition—and for the last several decades of the Nidu condition as well. I know things that no one else knows, and I can share them with you, but you're going to have to do something for me."

"I'm now even less in the mood for sex than I was before," Brian said.

Hayter-Ross laughed. "I've tabled the sex, Brian, really, I have," she said. "Honestly. I want to help you, Brian. And I want you to help your friends. But to do that I have to make sure you fully understand what I'm going to tell you and why. And to do that you and I are going to have to do a couple of things. The first of these is to show you how you died."

"Why do you want to help me?" Brian said.

"Because I like you, you silly boy," Hayter-Ross said. "And because I would no more have humanity squashed under Nidu rule than you would. I am human. Or was. And enough of me still is to want to pull our species' nuts from the fire."

"I don't trust you," Brian said.

"Nor should you," Hayter-Ross said. "I have a history of doing bad things to people I like. I liked Robbie Dwellin, you know. He was sweet, in a gormless con-artist sort of way. And look what I did to him. But I'm afraid if you want to help your friends you really have no other choice. This is a lovely garden, but it has no entrances and no exits that you can use. And I think you know by now you're no match for me, Brian. I have many, many years experience being an artificial intelligence. I could unzip you again at my leisure, and you have no assurance I'd put you back together again. So you either do things my way or you can have tea in this lovely garden all the way through to the heat death of the universe. Your choice."

"For someone who wants to help me, you sure are threatening," Brian said.

"Nice is nice," Hayter-Ross said. "But being a bitch gets results."

"You said that there's no way for me to reach Harry anyway," Brian said "If I'm not able to do that, I don't see what advantage playing your game has for me."

Andrea Hayter-Ross sighed. "If I promise you that the Nidu will not get the Neverland without a fight, will that be enough for now?"

"It might," Brian said.

"All right," Hayter-Ross said. "Then it will give you pleasure to know that the Church has dispatched a messenger to tell the UNE about the Nidu plans for the Neverland. Someone who knows your friends. Now will you please sit back down?"

Brian moved back toward the table. "Who is this messenger talking to at the UNE?"

"Someone who can get results," Hayter-Ross said.

"Who?" Brian said, sitting back down.

"Your brother, of course," said Hayter-Ross. "More tea?"

Ben Javna was at his desk when the lobby security detail rang through.