CHAPTER TEN
MAX let himself bask in her soft ministrations, his mind still revelling in how she had responded to him-the excitement rippling through her body, the look of incredulous wonder on her face, the unequivocal seizures of intense pleasure. He had no doubt she’d never felt anything quite so climactic before, which gave him an enormous sense of satisfaction. Her rotten husband had obviously been a selfish lover-selfish in everything. It elated him that this sexual experience had been a revelation to her, that he had given her what she should have been given.
He wove his fingers through the silky tresses of her hair, loving the feel of it-soft like a baby’s. Which reminded him. It had been totally reckless to go ahead without using a condom. The dog had brought him here. He hadn’t come prepared for sex. But when he’d seen desire shining in Chloe’s incredibly eloquent eyes, he hadn’t cared about anything else, not even when it had flitted through his mind that she could fall pregnant. That cautionary bit of sanity had been crowded out by wild thoughts of taking care of her and the child, marrying her if need be-anything but putting her off having what he wanted, too.
He should check if there was any danger of pregnancy. He didn’t really want that complication. It forced issues that shouldn’t be forced. He didn’t know how far he wanted to go with Chloe, but he knew the journey was better travelled free and clear of having to consider the life of an innocent child.
‘Chloe…’ His voice came out in a gravelly tone. He swallowed to clear his throat.
‘Mmmh?’ It was a contented hum, nothing fretting at her mind.
Which was good, Max told himself. ‘I didn’t plan this and I had no protection with me,’ he said, unable to wipe all concern from his mind.
‘S’okay,’ she assured him dreamily.
‘It’s safe?’ he persisted, needing that fact nailed down.
‘Mmmh.’ She sucked in a deep breath and explained, ‘I’m in the middle of a month of contraceptive pills. Didn’t think I should go off them until the end of the prescription. Just as well,’ she added on a carefree sigh.
‘Yes. Just as well,’ he agreed, smiling wryly at his own lack of care.
Chloe wasn’t the only one experiencing a first today. His lapse into physical violence, followed by this reckless plunge into intimacy…he’d never been so beyond normal control that he’d bypassed elementary protection from unwelcome consequences. The feelings she stirred kept pushing him to perform acts above and beyond the usual highly guarded parameters of his life. But now that she’d given herself to him, these aberrations should pass.
Her hand was gently fondling his penis as though she was fascinated with its size and shape and Max felt excitement rising in him again. ‘You’re playing with fire,’ he warned.
‘Good!’ She lifted her head and threw him a wicked grin. ‘I want to watch it grow.’
He laughed, surprised by her uninhibited comment. ‘It can’t be a mystery to you.’
She cocked her head on one side, eyeing him consideringly. ‘I don’t think women are a mystery to you, Max, but you wanted to watch me, so why wouldn’t I want to watch you?’
Only with her had he felt compelled to see everything she was feeling with him. Whenever he’d had sex with other women he’d simply accepted they were both reaching for mutual satisfaction which invariably eventuated. The extraordinary circumstances had made this more important, he told himself. And the fascinating ability Chloe had to project so much emotion in her eyes, on her beautiful face…how could he not want to see?
‘You’re a very special woman, Chloe,’ he said seriously. ‘I didn’t want to fail you in any way.’
It turned her serious. ‘You don’t. All the time you give me what I need, what I want. You never fail. And it’s wonderful in one sense…’ She paused, frowning slightly.
‘But…?’ he prompted.
She grimaced. ‘It’s like I’m being passive in all this and I don’t want to be passive anymore.’
His mouth twitched with amusement. ‘Believe me. You weren’t passive. I wouldn’t have completely lost my head if your response had not been so actively exciting.’
She eyed him curiously. ‘You don’t usually lose your head?’
‘No.’
‘Does that mean it was especially good for you?’
‘Yes.’
She looked enormously pleased, her sky-blue eyes sparkling with joy, her smile so wide the dimples in her cheeks deepened in tantalising provocation and he reached out and placed a teasing finger in one of them. She laughed at his bemusement in her. ‘Well, I’m glad I wasn’t a failure to you. I would have shrivelled up and died. As it is, I don’t feel at all bad about this, even though I should.’
‘Why should you?’ Surely she couldn’t feel guilty about being unfaithful to a marriage that was dead and gone.
She winced. ‘In a way, I’ve just acted like Laura Farrell, though at least you’re not married to Shannah Lian.’ Her eyes searched his worriedly. ‘Did you forget about her, Max?’
It obviously troubled her that he might be in the same unfaithful class as her husband. She didn’t owe loyalty to anyone, but he…there was empathy for Shannah’s situation on her face. ‘It’s over between Shannah and me,’ he quickly assured her. ‘We parted friends. You haven’t taken anything from her, Chloe. Nor have I cheated on her.’
He watched her process this information. The initial relief gave way to a narrow-eyed re-assessment of her own situation with him. He knew she was thinking of how her mother and husband had interpreted his actions on her behalf, that he was motivated by carnal desire, not keeping his television show on track. There was no more fondling. She drew her hand away from his groin and separated her body from his, sliding to one side, an elbow propping her up as she studied his face, her mind obviously whirling with questions.
They were still on an intimate footing, Max told himself. She hadn’t flounced off the bed to grab her robe and cover herself. She didn’t want to separate herself from him that far. Nevertheless, he knew the next words spoken could have a critical impact on where they went from here. He didn’t try to pull her back to him, respecting the space she’d put between them. He didn’t move at all but there was a shift inside himself, adrenaline pumping through him, relaxation obliterated by the growing tension of battle readiness.
He wasn’t about to lose now.
Chloe decided she wanted the truth, whatever it was. There’d been no gossip about Max breaking up with Shannah Lian, so the break had to be very recent. The big question was when? The gorgeous redhead had not been with him at the launch party. Was that an indication the relationship had ended before then…before the revelation of Tony’s and Laura’s betrayal, which had made her so vulnerable to Max’s escape route?
Chloe fiercely hoped so. She didn’t want her mother and Tony to be right about Max. He’d been so good to her…good for her. On the other hand, she couldn’t bear to live with lies. Her whole life felt as though it had been false. Above all, she needed to get it straight now, not be fooled by anything anymore.
There was no guilt in Max’s eyes. Not the slightest flicker of evasion, either. He was watching her intently, his dark brilliant gaze very steady and direct, waiting for her to tell him what was on her mind, why she had moved aside, breaking the intimate togetherness. There was waiting in his stillness, too, and the uneasy thought flashed across her mind that it was the stillness of a predator waiting for the right opening to attack.
He’d certainly seized the right opening at the launch party, moving in at the precise moment of absolute vulnerability, taking her into his keeping when she was too shell-shocked to be aware of it. But she wasn’t shell-shocked now and she wasn’t going to be weak, letting him steam-roll her into an affair that could distract her from what she should be doing.