"Any reason you didn't file for divorce?" I said.
"Why bother?" she said. "There was no other man I wanted to know, and Eldon was sending me his army pension. You know how it is."
"How is it?" said Milo.
"You don't make a move in the beginning, nothing happens. He sent the check every month, that was enough for me. Then when he started in on that killing business, I knew I was lucky he'd left. Who'd want to live with that? I mean, when I heard about that I got sick, really sick. I remember the first time. I saw it on TV. Eldon standing there-I hadn't seen him in years and now he was on the TV. Looking older, balder but the same face, the same voice. Bragging about what he did. I thought, He's finally gone a hundred percent crazy. The next day I was on the phone, changing my name on the Social Security and everything else I could find."
"So you never talked to him about his new career?"
"Didn't talk to him about anything," she said. "Didn't I just say that?" She shoved her plate away. Pulled more soda through the straws, let the brown liquid drop like the bubble in a carpenter's level before it reached her lips.
"Even if it was making him real rich, how would it look if suddenly I showed up wanting more?" She touched the handle of her butter knife. "That was filthy money. I been working my whole life, doing just fine- tell me, did he get rich from the killing?"
"Doesn't look like it," said Milo.
"So what was the point?"
"He claimed he was helping people."
"The devil claims he's an angel. Back when I knew Eldon, he wasn't interested in helping anyone but himself."
"Selfish?" I said.
"You bet. Always in his own world, doing what he wanted. Which was reading, always reading."
"Why'd you come down here, ma'am?" said Milo.
She held her hands out, as if expecting a gift. Her palms were scrubbed pale, crisscrossed by brown hatch marks. "I told you. I just thought I should-I guess I was curious."
"About what?"
She moved back in the booth. "About Eldon. Where he lived-what had happened to him. I never could figure him out."
"How'd the two of you meet?" I said.
She smiled. Smoothed her dress. Sucked soda up the straw. "What? Because he was a doctor and I'm some brown lady?"
"No-"
"It's okay, I'm used to it. When we were married and I used to walk Donny in the stroller, people thought I was the maid. 'Cause Donny's light like Eldon-spitting image of Eldon, in fact, and Eldon still didn't like him. Go figure. But stuff like that don't bother me anymore, the only thing that matters is doing right for Jesus- that's the real reason I'd never put a claim on Eldon's killing money. Jesus would weep. And I know you're gonna think I'm some kind of religious nut for saying this, but my faith is strong, and when you live for Jesus your soul is full of riches."
She laughed. "Of course, a nice meal once in a while don't hurt, right?"
"How about dessert?" said Milo.
She pretended to contemplate the offer. "If you're having."
He waved for the waitress, "Apple pie. Hot, a la mode. And for the lady…"
Guillerma Mate said, "As long as we're talking pie, honey, you got any chocolate cream?"
The waitress said, "Sure," copied down the order, turned to me. I shook my head and she left.
"Eldon didn't believe in Jesus, that was the problem," said Guillerma, dabbing at her lips again. "Didn't believe in nothing. You wanna know how we met? It was just one of those things. Eldon was living at this apartment complex where my mother did the cleaning-she wasn't legal so she couldn't get a decent job. My dad was a hundred percent legal, had a work permit, did landscaping for Luckett Construction, they were the biggest back then. My dad got citizenship, brought my mom over from El Salvador, but she never bothered to get papers. I was born here, pure American. My friends call me Willy. Anyway, Eldon was living in the complex and I used to run into him when I was washing down the walkways or trimming the flowers. We'd talk."
"This was in San Diego?"
"That's right. I was out of high school only a few years, helping my mom out, taking classes part time at the JC, planning to be a nurse. Eldon was a lot older- thirty-six and he looked in his forties, had lost most of his hair already. I wasn't attracted to him at first, but then I started to like him. 'Cause he was polite. Not just for show, all the time. Quiet, too. That was good, I'd had enough of noisy men. Also, back then I thought he was a genius. He had a job as a chemist, kept science books and all kinds of other books everywhere, reading all the time. Back then, that impressed me. Back then I thought education was the way to get saved."
"No more, huh?"
"Wise man, fool-we're all weak mortals. The only genius is the one up there." Pointing to the ceiling. "Proof is, would a genius go around killing other people? Even those who asked for it? Does that sound like a smart thing to do when we're all gonna answer for our deeds in the next world?"
She shook her head and spoke to the ceiling tiles. "Eldon, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now."
The dessert came. She waited until Milo'd taken a forkful before attacking her pie.
I said, "But at the beginning you were impressed with his education."
"I used to think education was everything. I was gonna be a registered nurse-when I moved up to Oakland, I had these… fantasies, I guess you'd call 'em. Eldon would open up a doctor's office, I'd work with him. But then he wouldn't have nothing to do with Donny and me, so I had to keep working and never got to finish school." She licked her lips. "I'm not complaining. I take care of the elderly, do what nurses do, anyway. And now I know there's no shortcut to happiness, doesn't matter what your job is in this world. The main world is the one afterward, and the only way to get there is Jesus. It's exactly what my mother taught me, only back then I wasn't listening to her. No one listened to her, that was the burden she carried around. My father was godless. She never turned him around till he was dying, and even then, not till the pain came on real bad, so what else could he do but pray?"
The back of her spoon skated over the chocolate cream pie, picking up a coating of whipped cream. She licked it, said, "My dad smoked all his life, got lung cancer, it spread to his bones, all over his spine. He died in bad pain, choking and screaming. It was horrible. Made a big impression on Eldon."
"Eldon saw your father die?" I said.
"You bet. Dad died right after we were married. We'd go visit Dad in the hospital and he'd be coughing up blood and screaming from the pain and Eldon would turn white as a ghost and have to leave. Who'da figured he'd be a doctor? You know what I think? Seeing Dad die could be part of what started out Eldon on this killing business. 'Cause it really was horrible, Mom and me got through it by praying. But Eldon didn't pray. Refused to, even when Mom begged him. Said he wouldn't be a hypocrite. If you don't have no faith, seeing something like that is gonna scare you."
She finished her pie.
Milo said, "Is there anything you can tell us that might help us learn who killed your husband?"
"I'd say someone didn't like what Eldon was doing."
"Anyone in particular?"
"No," she said. "I'm just talking… logical. There's got to be lots of people who didn't approve of Eldon. Not God-fearing people, God-fearing don't go running around killing. But maybe someone…" Smile. "You know, it could be someone like Eldon. Got no faith and a big hate grew inside him about Eldon. 'Cause Eldon had a difficult personality-didn't care what he said or how he said it. Least, that's the way he was back when we were married. Always getting into it with people-bring him into a place like this and he'd be complaining about the food, marching up to the manager and starting an argument. Maybe he got the wrong person mad and this person said, Look what he does and gets away with it, sure, it's okay to kill, it's no different from tying my shoes. 'Cause let's face it, if you don't believe in the world hereafter, what's to stop you from killing or raping or robbing or doing whatever it is your lust tells you to do?"