Contacted about this abrupt reversal of fortune, Gideon Peppy had this to say: "Get that fuckin' camera out of my fuckin' face before I break your fuckin' neck!" Easy, Giddy-o. Take a stress pill and cool your jets. Remember when there's a shine on your shoes there's a melody in your heart.

from Vapor Trails

"All the Vicious Irresponsible Gossip Rumor and Innuendo Our Lawyers Permit!"

5/23/59

SOLOMON SPEAKS!

Judge Hands Down Decision in Thimble/Peppy Scuffle

Have you heard the old one about King Solomon and the baby? Two women claimed to be the kid's mother, neither could prove it. Old Sol says bring me a sword, proposes chopping the kid in two, make everybody happy, right? You don't believe me, look in the Bible. I'm sure the library has a copy, it means book, after all.

It looks like Sparky and his Thimble Theater Company get to keep all the characters he created for the show, forty-seven and counting so far. All except two of them. Are you ready? Of course, it's the characters of Sparky and Polly. Peppy was able to prove he wrote about them before he even met young Master Valentine. So "Sparky" the character remains the intellectual property of Peppiprod, for all the good it'll do him, and Sparky, the real-life Lunarian boy, gets to keep his gang, for all the good it'll do him. Somewhere the ghost of old King Solomon must be chuckling.

But rumors too speculative for even us to print hint this is not really the last verse of this epic. Let it stand for the moment that neither party is happy, and neither is about ready to give up.

from Clavius Clarion

Shopper's Bargain Supplement

5/25/59

The big news in our little enclave this week was supposed to be the opening of the new domed city park and shopping mall out in the western district. That was before they announced that Sparky and Polly would be the guests of honor for the grand opening. News of the personal appearance brought some youngsters from as far away as King City. Police estimated the crowd at fifteen thousand.

You would have thought it was three times that many if you heard the cheers when Sparky and Polly flashed into view on their red skycycles. They buzzed the crowd half a dozen times, showering candy and trinkets from their saddlebags. It was a little bit Santa Claus, and a little bit Mardi Gras, and the children loved it. It's a good thing promoters provided adequate security, or the stage would have been mobbed when the two finally landed.

Sparky apologized to the kids for not bringing his gang with him, but he promised they'd be back in the old clubhouse in the near future. Then he and Polly sang the "Sparky's Gang Song" and the "Sugar Sparklers Song." All the kids seemed to know all the words.

But the surprise hit of the day was when a big, bumbling clown in yellow shoes, a checked jacket, red pants, and suspenders, bulled his way onstage, sucking on a huge lollipop. He started shouting at Sparky and Polly, jumping up and down, threatening them. The kids loved it. "Peppy" said he had Sparky's Gang and he was going to hold them hostage. Our heroes were not daunted; they strapped "Peppy" to one of their skycycles and sent him spinning into the air as the kids shouted with glee. And who says children don't follow the business and legal news? There seemed no doubt who the viewers favored in the simmering feud between Peppy and Sparky. If I was Gideon Peppy I'd be running for cover.

from Vapor Trails

6/2/59

OTHER SHOE DROPS!

Wisdom of Solomon, Part Two

At last we can tell it. Final figures are in on the settlement between Gideon Peppy and Thimble Theater. What everyone seemed to have forgotten in last week's dustup was that Sparky Valentine, in addition to winning the rights to the characters he created while the Sparky show was being produced at Peppiprod, won the trademarks associated with them, and all the royalties paid since their creation. Anybody want to guess how much that might be? A figure was not publicly released, but to get an idea, find an eight-year-old, go to his room, and count the number of times you see a member of Sparky's Gang. Multiply that by the number of three-to-twelve-year-olds in Luna (we're not even considering Mars, the Belt, and the OP, but the court is, oh, my, yes!). If the manufacturers paid even a penny for the use of the image—and count on it, they paid more than that—it comes to a very tidy sum.

Entirely too tidy for Peppiprod. Like most production companies, PP's liquid assets are not large. Money goes into development, dividends, promotion, and the shine on Gideon Peppy's yellow shoes. Peppy didn't have anything like that kind of money, and considering he's been off the load for two months, is no longer in production, and rated a weak seventeenth in the AAS last time the show was offered, there were no banks or bankrollers willing to take a flyer on his future prospects.

Into this frightening picture steps Thimble Theater, a.k.a. Sparky Valentine, with an offer GP can't refuse. When the dust settles TT owns all rights to the characters of Sparky and Polly, and all back numbers of the Sparky show. GP is still not back in the black, but he's out of the ultraviolet.

August 1 (King City Temple)

The July Flack Numbers as compiled by the Trends Research Department of the Latitudinarian Church are as follows:

At last! After an heroic two-year struggle, Sparky hits number one!

It's a good thing, too, or this column would be dull as dishwater. The only other number worth noting is the steady progress of Weasels, finally reaching the Fab Five. Plenty of educators out there are hoping it will soon reach number three, so maybe the Weasels can eat the Cabbages and die! Rounding out the comfortable middle of the table is the usual gang of suspects.

Former champ, the Gideon Peppy Show, is still out of the running, "on hiatus" is the polite expression. Word is it's a hiatus that may prove terminal. Peppiprod is still sniffing about for some bucks to get back in front of the cameras.

Contacted about the hard times his company has fallen on... well, we know GP would have had something snappy and witty to say, but we didn't ask him, as our reporter is not anxious to have his jaw broken again. We'll let you know how the lawsuit comes out. And frankly, at this point nobody really cares about the shine on his shoes, the lint on his hard candy, or the crap in his trousers.

from Hebephrenia

column of 6/6/59

"At Home with the Like Wireheads! Ex. P!" by D. Mentua Precox

touch doublestrikes for sound

touch Hyperlined words for refs

...and so when they asked me if I'd, you know, like to spend a few hours like with everybody's fayvyiest brillo-domes, I was all like "Get a clue unquote!" Like, the D stands for Dumbbunny, but not Dope, you load? But they were all like serious as green cheese, and stuff, so I packed my extra sox and training bra and pootled down to the backlot where they were making like the very first Sparky and Polly movie with the, like, Gang. Comma comma period. And there was this quote "dressing room" unquote that Sparky and Polly shared? You know? Question mark? Only it was bigger then D. Mentua's entire cubic!! Exc. etc. I mean, the D stands for Dazzled! Also for I Dug it!