The Juggler

AT FIVE P.M., EXACTLY THE same time that Lou should have been leaving work in order to get home for Lucy’s school play, he instead paced the floor of his office. Something Gabe had said had made him rethink his decision to miss the play; he couldn’t think what exactly, and all he could feel was a ball of guilt nestled somewhere near his heart and his gut. It was an unfamiliar feeling. His office door was wide open, prepared for his eventual catapult launch down the corridor into Mr. Patterson’s office, where he would announce he was unable to meet Bruce Archer for coffee. Not unlike Mr. Patterson, he too had family commitments. Tonight his daughter was going to be a leaf. But the thought of doing so made him weaken at the knees. Each time he reached the doorway he stopped short, and instead turned around and continued his pacing around his desk.

Gabe. Bloody Gabe. How on Earth had he allowed that man to get inside his head? He didn’t care what Gabe thought about him. Gabe didn’t know how Lou was with his family. Gabe didn’t know how his family felt about him. He didn’t know all the good things he did for them. The expensive holidays, the lavish gifts at Christmas.

Lou would do his job tonight without guilt. Just like he did every day.

He calmed himself and sat at his desk. Just as he prepared to call Alison to instruct her to pass on the message of his important meeting to his wife, he heard Alison call out cheerily, “Hi, Gabe.”

Lou froze, and then for reasons unknown, found himself rushing behind the door, where he stood with his back to the wall and listened to their conversation through the open door.

“Hi, Alison.”

“You look smart today, Gabe.”

“Thanks. Mr. Patterson has asked me to do a few jobs for him around here, so I thought it would be a good idea to look a bit more respectable.”

Lou peeked through the gap in the hinges of the door and spied Gabe, his new haircut combed neatly like Lou’s. A new dark suit was draped over his shoulder and covered in plastic.

“You’re working for Mr. Patterson? Wow, congratulations. So is the new suit part of the job?” Alison asked.

“Oh, this? This is just for me to have. You never know when a suit will come in handy.” He smiled. “Anyway, I’m here to give you these for Lou. I think they’re plans.”

“But Lou just asked Mr. Patterson for these five minutes ago. How did you get them from the architect so quickly?” Alison checked the plans, confusion written across her face.

“Oh, I don’t know, I just, you know…” Lou could see Gabe’s shoulders shrugging.

“No, I don’t know,” Alison laughed. “But I wish I did. Keep working like this, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Patterson gives you Lou’s job.”

They laughed and Lou bristled, making a note to make Alison’s life hell right after this conversation.

“Is Lou in right now?”

“Yes, he is. Why?”

“Is he going to meet with Bruce Archer today?”

“Yes. At least I think so. Why?”

“Oh, no reason. Just wondering.”

“Why, what’s going on?” She lowered her voice. “What’s the big deal about this evening? Lou’s been acting funny about it. It’s almost like he has a conscience about not going to his daughter’s play.” She giggled.

That was it. Lou couldn’t take it anymore. He slammed his office door, no doubt startling them both. Then he sat down at his desk and picked up the phone.

“Yes?” Alison answered.

“Get me Harry from the mailroom on the phone, and after that call Ronan Pearson and check with him to see if Gabe collected the plans from him personally. Do this without Gabe’s knowing. And then we’ll have a talk about that conscience of mine,” he snapped.

“Oh.” She paused, embarrassed, then composed herself. “Yes, of course, just one moment, please,” she said in her best telephone voice. “I’ll connect you.”

Lou adjusted his tie, cleared his throat, and spun around in his oversized leather chair to face the window. The day was cold but crisp, and there wasn’t a breeze as holiday shoppers rushed to and fro, their arms laden with bags amid the flashing colors of numerous neon signs.

“Yello,” Harry barked.

“Harry, it’s Lou.”

“What?” Harry shouted, machines and voices so loud behind him, Lou had no choice but to speak up. He looked around to make sure he was still alone before speaking. “It’s Lou, Harry.”

“Lou who?”

“Suffern.”

“Oh, Lou, hi, how can I help you? Your mail end up on twelve again?”

“No, no, I got it, thanks.”

“Good. That new boy you sent my way is a genius, isn’t he?”

“He is?”

“Gabe? Absolutely. Everyone’s calling me with nothing but good reviews. It’s like he fell from the stars, I’m telling you. And he couldn’t have come at a better time, that’s no word of a lie. We were struggling, you know that. In all of my years in this job, this Christmas season is the wildest. Everything’s getting faster and faster. Well, it must be, because it’s not me that’s getting slower, that’s for sure. You picked a good one, Lou. I owe you. So how can I help you today?”

“Well, about Gabe,” Lou said slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. “You know he’s taken on some other commitments in the building. Other work outside of the mailroom.”

“I heard that all right, and I’m happy for him. He was as excited as anything this morning. Got a new suit and all on his break. I don’t know where he found the time to get it; some of them in here can’t even light their cigarette in that time. He’s quick, that boy. Mr. Patterson seems to have taken a shine to him. I’d say it won’t be long before he’s out of here and up there with you.”

“Yeah…anyway, I was just calling to let you know. I didn’t want it to conflict with his work with you.” Lou tried one more time. “You wouldn’t want him to be distracted, with his mind on the other things he’s doing for us. You know? It gets so manic up here, and we certainly don’t want any problems.”

“I appreciate that, Lou, but what he does after one p.m. is his own business. To be honest with you, I’m glad he’s found something else. He gets his job done so quickly, it’s a struggle to keep him busy.”

“Right. Okay. So, if he acts up in any way, you just go ahead and do what you have to do, Harry. I don’t want you to feel in any way obligated to keep him on for me. You know?”

“I know that, Lou, I do. He’s a good lad; you’ve nothing to worry about.”

“Okay. Thanks. Take care, Harry.”

The phone went dead. Lou sighed and slowly spun around in his chair to replace the receiver. As he turned, he came face-to-face with Gabe, who was standing behind his desk and watching him intently.

Lou jumped, dropped the receiver, and let out a yelp. “Jesus Christ.” He held his hand over his pounding heart.

“No. It’s just me,” Gabe said, blue eyes searing into Lou’s.

“Have you ever heard of knocking? Where’s Alison?” Lou leaned sideways to check her desk and saw that it was empty. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” Gabe’s voice was soft, and it was that which unnerved Lou most. “Trying to get me in trouble, Lou?”

“What?” Lou’s heart pounded wildly, still unrecovered from the surprise, and also alarmingly discomfited by Alison’s absence and Gabe’s proximity. The man’s very presence disconcerted him.

“No.” He swallowed, and he hated himself for his sudden weakness. “I just called Harry to see if he was happy with you. That’s all.” He was aware of the fact that he sounded like a schoolboy defending himself.

“And is he?”

“As it turns out, yes. But you must understand how I feel a responsibility to him for finding you.”

“Finding me,” Gabe said with a curious smile.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“Nothing.” Gabe continued to smile and began looking around Lou’s office, hands in his pockets, with that same patronizing look that was neither jealousy nor admiration.