The man waved his hands in a slightly dismissive manner. “Oh I know that. You English always say that. I could serve you the cloths we use for washing the plates in a sauce made from the scrapings from our trash bins and you English would say it was fine, thank you very much please may I have some more? Have you heard the news today?”

“News?”

“The Doge’s wife,” Claudio said with much satisfaction.

“Um, what about the Doge’s wife?” Michael asked, wishing he’d checked the news, unhappy that someone else had information before him.

“The Doge has wanted a son for the six years they have been married,” Claudio said with a slight trace of disapproval. Clearly, the Doge’s wife had not been all she should have. The image of the silver replica axe crossed Michael’s mind. “And now he is not without a male heir!”

“Oh, they’ve had a son? Well, um, excellent,” Michael mumbled, not entirely sure what he was supposed to say.

“Better than that, she has given him two fine sons.” Claudio stood beaming with his arms crossed, as proudly as if he had fathered the pair himself. “They would have known, of course, the doctors, but it was kept quiet during the pregnancy. But now she has given birth, and all Venice will be so proud.”

“I’m sure,” Michael said. “Well, that’s splendid.”

“So I wondered if you would want me to arrange your costumes? My cousin Franco, he has a very fine collection. You can choose from the catalog. I bring you a copy.” He turned to go.

“Excuse me, Claudio, just a minute. What do you mean, costumes?”

“There will be a carnival, of course, for today and tonight. Everyone must wear one of the costumes. You will not be able to go out without one, not after noon. It will be very bad manners.”

“Rakk off!” Streak hissed under his breath.

“They are splendid,” Claudio said, either not hearing him-or ignoring him. “It is usual to wear only an eye mask and light costume for the day, but for the night the full costume will be required, of course. There will be wine and song and feasts everywhere, but you eat with me, yes? You will look fine. For the signora, white silk for that wonderful skin, yes? And the gilded masks for the men. You ask Lucrezia to pick the costumes for you.” He waved a finger at the males.

“I think that’s an excellent idea,” Michael said. If Lucrezia was to be unleashed on them, they had better take it in a fully compliant spirit.

“Just don’t argue with her,” he said to Streak, who was bristling a little. “I don’t care that you have all that chrome. She could flatten you. I’ve seen her in action. You could be decapitated with a dinner plate.”

“What is this drek? Carnival? We’re not here for a fragging carnival,” Streak replied. “That’s what you’re paying me for? To dress up and prance about like some ponce?”

“Look, if we get what we need from the Doge’s offices we may be out of here after lunch,” Michael said. “so don’t grumble. Maybe we won’t have to worry about it at all.”

“Well, then, let’s bloody hope that his lordship gets some joy out of the pen-pushers,” the elf said flatly.

“Yes, let’s hope indeed,” Michael agreed fervently.

Geraint was back by ten, his stock of forced good humor exhausted by an extraordinarily tiresome underling who’d spent most of breakfast whining about his low salary and complaining that London never paid any attention to anything he did or reported. Geraint had had to utter scores of emollient sentences and gotten little help in reply, since the disgruntled secretary clearly loathed everyone on the Doge’s staff fairly indiscriminately.

“When I get back home I’ll make sure the little sod gets transferred to a ghastly posting somewhere hot and humid and riddled with malaria and that nice endorphin-destroying virus that’s been sprouting in southeast Asia” he growled to Michael. The Englishman smiled, brushed away the last crumbs of an ample breakfast from his lap, and padded toward the exit.

They headed through the piazza and decided to make their way to the palatial offices via the basilica itself. Though they’d allowed plenty of time to make the appointment Geraint had fixed for ten-thirty, they were nearly late. The basilica simply offered too much for them to look at, whether it was the treasury built to hold the spoils of pillage from Constantinople or the mosaics of the atrium, the Pentecost dome or simply the opulent decorations of the aisles themselves. They found themselves on Rizzo’s Giants’ Staircase, the broad, vast steps leading to the landing where the Doges were crowned, with barely a minute to spare. They didn’t even have time to stop and gaze upon all the wonders of the palace itself.

Flourishing the insignia of His Majesty’s Government and announcing himself as Lord Llanfrechfa got Geraint past the clerks and paper-pushers faster than he’d hoped. He found himself, with Michael, seated across a desk from someone who gave every appearance of being quite a senior functionary in the Doge’s Office of Works. The office was, after all, barely ten meters from the sala dei tre capi, the chamber of the Doge’s Council heads, and proximity to such exalted men was a reasonable sign of seniority and influence.

“So what can I do for Your Lordship on this happy day?” the man asked with the unforced good humor of someone who’s been told he’s getting the afternoon off as public holiday.

“I represent His Majesty’s Government,” Geraint said with due ceremony. “We are most interested in the reports dealing with pollution of the canals and lagoon of the city. If I may say so, judging from this and my past visits, Venice is more beautiful and cleaner than I have ever seen it.”

The man was obviously pleased to see that Geraint was, apparently, a regular visitor, and he seemed to bristle with a certain pride.

“Well, we like to think so,” he said cheerfully.

“His Majesty’s Government is most interested because we have similar problems with rising pollution levels in the Thames, which flows past our own seat of government just as waters flow around the palace here,” Geraint continued.

“Well, this is a global problem,” the clerk said, his brow furrowing a little. “I have had calls from as far away as San Francisco about this matter.”

“Indeed,” Geraint replied evenly. “Well, His Majesty would be most delighted to learn of any help you could provide regarding this remarkable and fascinating success. Naturally, my government would be only too ready to remunerate the Doge for such expert consultation and assistance.”

“That would be in the normal course of events,” the clerk said, smiling slightly.

“We had heard,” Geraint said, his voice dropping a little, that remarkable developments in magical techniques were involved, Naturally, we would not pry into such matters.”

“Naturally.”

“However, we have heard of work with water elementals.”

“You have?” the man said innocently.

“We have indeed,” Geraint said a little more strongly.

“Well,” the man said slowly, “I would like to help you. I myself read history at your university of Oxford, you know.”

Gotcha, Geraint realized with utter joy. The Oxford-Cambridge university cabal and old-boy network had a potency all but unequaled in the history of European civilization.

“Ah! Your college?”

“Balliol,” the man said with some pride.

“My private secretary is a Balliol man,” Geraint said authoritatively, “and so is my boss. I’ve dined there many times. Well, well.”

“I must ask you to respect confidences,” the man said, his manner more businesslike but still cheery.

“I can absolutely assure you that-”

“Very well” the man cut in. “It’s going to be obvious before very long so I think I can trust you, Lord Llanfrechfa.” He then looked at Michael rather pointedly.

“Ah. my friend. He is my traveling personal secretary,” Geraint lied. “And, of course, the very soul of discretion.”