“You didn’t hear a word from me,” Ben said. “All I’m saying is that if you want to impress your editors with your sense of intuition, that’s the path I’d start sniffing.”

“Thanks.” Eric smiled.

“Is what you told him illegal?” Ober asked, looking up from his now melting ice cream.

“Of course it’s not illegal,” Ben said. “It’s just friendly advice.”

“Because if it was illegal, I’d be forced to make a citizen’s arrest.” When Ben shook his head, Ober said, “I’m serious. I’d arrest the both of you.”

“Ober, if you got me arrested, I’d call your boss and tell her you faxed me a photocopy of your penis last week.”

“So?” Ober said.

“And then I’d tell her you were the one who sideswiped her car at the office barbecue last July.”

“So?”

“And then I’d call all your overdue credit cards and give them your real address and your daytime telephone number.”

Ober paused. “So?”

“And then I’d tell Eric that you’re constantly stealing his quarters to do your laundry.”

“You’re what?” Eric asked.

“Oh, he’s so full of sh-”

“That’s where all my quarters went!”

“Good night,” Ben said, standing from the couch. “Time for bed.”

At six-thirty the next morning, Ben walked into the kitchen for breakfast. “Morning,” he said to Nathan, always the earliest riser.

Folding the newspaper on the table, Nathan pushed aside his bowl of cereal. “I think you should see this.”

“What is it?” Ben asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. “Read it to me.”

“I think you should read it,” Nathan said.

Ben picked up the paper. The headline blared, INVESTIGATION OPENED AFTER HIGH COURT’S CMI DECISION. Quickly, he read, “A high-level source at the Supreme Court revealed that an official investigation has been opened to dismiss rumors of wrongdoing during the recent CMI decision. After Charles Maxwell risked millions on the outcome of the case, critics from Wall Street to Washington have suspected foul play. As a result, the Court has begun ‘a high level and thorough investigation.’ According to the source, ‘Everyone who knew the outcome in advance, from the printing department to the law clerks, will be thoroughly questioned.’”

Ben ground his teeth. “This is a bunch of crap,” he said, throwing the paper on the table. “There’s no investigation. They’re just trying to create some controversy.”

“Did you see the byline?”

When he read the words “By Eric Stroman,” Ben’s stomach dropped. “I don’t believe this.”

“Just relax,” Nathan said, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder.

“That motherfucker!” Ben screamed, ripping up the paper. He ran out of the room and shot up the stairs. “ERIC! WAKE THE HELL UP!”

“Just calm down,” Nathan called, following his friend.

Ben kicked open the door to Eric’s room. The bed was empty. Nathan breathed a sigh of relief. “Where the hell is he?” Ben asked. A white envelope lay in the middle of Eric’s unmade bed, with Ben’s name written on the outside.

As Ben opened the envelope, Ober staggered into the room, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. “What the hell is going on?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Don’t ask,” Nathan warned.

“I’ll tell you what happened,” Ben announced, ignoring the card in his hand. “Our piece-of-shit roommate wrote a story on page five of the newspaper about potential wrongdoings at the Court. He then went on to wrongly report that an investigation has been opened, and that members of the staff are suspected of leaking information to Charles Maxwell before the decision was handed down. In other words, he fucked me. If there wasn’t an investigation before, there is one now. And if there was one before, he just forced Court security to turn the heat up.”

“No way,” Ober said.

“Just relax,” Nathan said. “What’s the card say?”

“Dear Ben,” he read. “At this point, I’m sure you’re raging mad. I hope you’ll give me a chance to explain. I’m sorry I had to leave so early this morning, but I had some stuff to do at work. Always your friend, Eric.”

“Oh, please,” Ben said, passing the card to Nathan. “He hasn’t been up before noon for a whole year, and today he had to go in early? He ran out on me.”

“It sounds like there’s an explanation,” Nathan said, passing the card to Ober.

“What could he possibly say?” Ben asked. “What explanation could possibly excuse this? ‘Sorry, we had some space to fill, so I decided to dick you over’?”

“Maybe they needed to fill in for the word jumble,” Ober said.

“Ober, don’t screw around with this,” Ben warned. “This is serious for me. This story could get me fired.” Ben was silent as he leaned on Eric’s dresser. Watching their friend, Nathan and Ober said nothing. “DAMN!” Ben screamed, pushing a stack of papers from Eric’s dresser. “They’re definitely investigating now. They can’t ignore this.”

“You have to speak to him,” Nathan said. “Give him a call.”

Looking at his watch, Ben said, “I’m late. I have to go.” He marched down the stairs, grabbed his overcoat from the closet, and stormed out of the house.

“This will not be a pretty one,” Nathan said when the door slammed shut.

“Did you know about this?” Ober asked.

“Of course I didn’t know,” Nathan said.

“I knew,” Ober said, sitting on Eric’s bed.

“You knew?” Nathan asked. “You knew and you didn’t stop him?”

“There was no stopping him,” Ober explained. “You know how Eric gets when he’s in reporter mode. He’s out to win the Pulitzer.”

“Did you at least say something to him?”

“Of course,” Ober said. “He wouldn’t listen. Besides, it was too late. He told me last night.”

“I’ll tell you one thing, their friendship is over,” Nathan said, picking up the knocked-over papers. “And Ben is not a person you want as your enemy.”

“He’s definitely going to kill him,” Ober said.

“Absolutely. He’ll never forgive this. And no matter how long it takes him, he’s going to make sure Eric’s miserable.”

“Maybe we should make up a flyer for a new roommate,” Ober said,

“Actually, why don’t you do that at work today? It’ll say: Wanted, semi-messy roommate to replace our old dead one. Must be willing to live with one genius, one monkey, and one Supreme Court clerk who’s recently acquired a taste for blood.”

As he approached the Supreme Court, Ben struggled to calm himself. Taking deep, slow breaths, he climbed the stairs and entered the marble edifice. Biting the inside of his cheek, he showed his I.D. and walked around the metal detector. He made every attempt to appear calm, taking extra-small strides to slow himself down. Walking through reception, he was relieved to see that Nancy wasn’t in yet. As he entered his and Lisa’s office, he lightly shut the door behind him.

“I guess you saw it,” Lisa said, the paper open on her desk.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ben said, heading directly for his desk. “He’s a dead man.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“He ran out before I got up. Has anyone said anything yet?”

“Nothing so far. It’s only seven, though. The day is young.”

“That’s just great. Thanks for that piece of advice.”

“Listen, it’s only the Washington Herald. Everyone in this town knows it’s a right-wing, lunatic paper. No one takes it seriously.” Getting no response from Ben, she added, “It didn’t even make the front page.”

“Terrific. I’m thrilled.”

“Listen, it could be worse. At least he didn’t say that it was a clerk.”

“Well then, I’m tickled-fuckin’-pink,” Ben said, his voice rising. “It’s all okay now. I don’t have to worry. My career is just perfect. Thanks, Sally Sunshine, for showing me the way.”

“Listen, I don’t need your asshole tone,” Lisa yelled across the desk. “I was just trying to help.”