Setting up such meetings takes time. It is up to you to take the initiative. Sometimes, you have to be aggressive. After a few weeks of no reply, I called Sony information and eventually got Serge's direct line. When I call someone directly whom I haven't spoken with before, I try to call at an unusual time. Someone who is busy is more likely to pick up their own phone at 8:00 A.M. or 6:30 P.M. Plus, they're probably less stressed out since they're not facing typical nine-to-five pressures.

I called in the early morning, but got Serge's voice mail. So I left a message: "I just want to reiterate my excitement regarding our meeting. I've never heard John talk so flatteringly of a business associate. I understand how busy you must be. I haven't heard from your administrative assistant, but I'm sure I will. See you soon." At no point do you want your interactions to become strained. Creating and maintaining a sense of optimism and gentle pressure around the appointment is all part of the dance.

When I still didn't hear from his office, I called Serge's direct line after hours, around 6 P.M. This time, Serge picked up the phone himself and I gave him the pitch.

"Hi, Serge. It's Keith Ferrazzi. John's talked highly of you for some time, and I've finally got a nice excuse to give you a call. I'm calling for my friend Jeff Arnold, the founder of WebMD, who has a new, very powerful way to distribute digital content. With some of the new products you'll be launching this quarter, it could make for the perfect partnership. I'll be in New York next week. Let's get together. Or, if getting together this trip isn't convenient, I'll make room in my schedule for whenever it's more convenient for you."

In fifteen seconds, I used my four rules for what I call warm calling: 1) Convey credibility by mentioning a familiar person or institution—in this case, John, Jeff, and WebMD. 2) State your value proposition: Jeff's new product would help Serge sell his new products. 3) Impart urgency and convenience by being prepared to do whatever it takes whenever it takes to meet the other person on his or her own terms. 4) Be prepared to offer a compromise that secures a definite follow-up at a minimum.

The result? I was in Serge's office the next week. And, while his budgets didn't allow a short-term application, he totally understood the power of the medium for his audience. Don't be surprised if sometime soon your movie-theater beverage has a cool little DVD on the lid brimming over with some of Sony's newest technology.

Here are some of the rules I follow fleshed out in more detail:

1. Draft off a reference.

The reason a cold call feels like torture was set out in vivid detail fifty or so years ago in an advertisement, recalled by Harvey Macka, in his book Swim with the Sharks. It pictures a corporate killjoy facing the reader, who is cast in the role of the salesman. The killjoy says:

I don't know who you are.

I don't know your company.

I don't know what your company stands for. I don't know your company's customers.

I don't know you company's products.

I don't know your company's reputation. Now—what was it you wanted to sell me?

You can see the total lack of credibility one has when making a cold call. Credibility is the first thing you want to establish in any interaction, and ultimately, no one will buy from you unless you establish trust. Having a mutual friend or even acquaintance will immediately make you stand out from the other anonymous individuals vying for a piece of someone's time.

What do I mean by that? If you are calling on behalf of the president, I guarantee you Mr. Killjoy on the other end of the line will listen to what you have to say. Drafting off the brands of others, whether personal references or organizations, is a helpful tactic to get past someone's initial reluctance.

Most of us, however, don't work for Microsoft or know the president of the organization we're trying to reach out to. Our task, then, is to tap our network of friends, family, clients, neighbors, classmates, associates, and church members to find a path back to the person we're trying to reach. When you mention someone both of you have in common, all of a sudden the person you're calling has an obligation not only to you but also to the friend or associate you just mentioned.

Today, finding a line into someone's office is a lot easier than when I started out.

Again, the wonderfully effective search engine Google.com is nearly invaluable in this process. Do a name search and you'll likely find where a person went to school, what his or her interests are, and what boards he or she sits on—you'll get a perspective on the person's life that should give you ideas on where a mutual contact might be found. What sports do they play? What nonprofits do they care about? Do you know other people involved in similar causes?

A whole host of new companies, like Spoke and Linkedln, specialize in helping you find connections to people you want to get in touch with. A company called Capital IQ aggregates market data and information on executives, for example, to make it very easy to find out whom they know that you know. Other companies, like Friendster, Ryze, and ZeroDegrees, help to broker connections inside and outside of companies around the world. Some of these networks are better for finding a date, so you'll have to see for yourself which one makes more sense for you.

People used to say there were only six degrees of separation between anyone in the world. Today, we're only one or two mouse clicks away.

2. State your value.

Acquiring a reference or institution to draft off of is only a starting point. It will help you get your foot in the door. Once you have someone's commitment to hear you out for thirty seconds, you'll need to be prepared to deliver a high-value proposition. You've got very little time to articulate why that person should not try to get off the phone as quickly as possible. Remember, it's all about them. What can you do for them?

When researching for a connection to the people you want to meet, first do some reconnaissance about the company and industry they're selling in. Selling is, reduced to its essence, solving another person's problems. And you can only do that when you know what those problems are. When I finally got a chance to talk with Serge, for instance, I already knew he was preparing to launch some new products in the upcoming quarter, and in the busy holiday season he was going to need something that would really stand out. I also knew his target audience aligned well with those going to the theaters.

I can cut through the clutter of other cold calls by personalizing my call with specific information that shows I'm interested enough in their success to have done some homework.

3. Talk a little, say a lot. Make it quick, convenient, and definitive.

You want to impart both a sense of urgency and a sense of convenience. Instead of closing with "We should get together some time soon," I like to finalize with something like "I'm going to be in town next week. How about lunch on Tuesday? I know this is going to be important for both of us, so I'll make time no matter what."

You will, of course, need to provide enough information about your value proposition to make the person want to spend some time talking. But also, don't talk too much. If you launch into a long sales pitch without finding out the other person's thoughts, you can turn them off immediately. It is a dialogue, not a scripted monologue. Even my fifteen-second intro above left time for the casual "ah huh, yes" or "hmm" from the other person. Don't ever talk at someone. Give them time to come along with you.