"Patience, my boy. Patience. One never hurries the headsman." He chuckled wickedly. "Just my little joke, sir. Just my little joke. You are in no danger here."
Like hell. Wouldn't take too much of this to get me foaming at the mouth and talking to little men who weren't there.
I kept an eye on the staff. They came and went in the background, eager to see their boss in action. He was a real three-ringer. They all wore costumes and spooky makeup. Easterman could afford to pay people to pretend that he was bad.
Hell, maybe he was. In a more mundane way. Amongst the remote voyers I spotted one of the men who had chased me away from my place
Don't call him crazy, though. The Eastermans of the world are never crazy. When you have money, you're eccentric
"Fido Easterman, yes sir " He put all his fingers together and made a spider doing push-ups on a mirror.
Then he pulled his hands apart slowly, as though he was pulling against tremendous forces. His fingers shook like he was coming down with a disease.
"I've been hearing rumors about a marvelous book, Mr. Garrett. Yes sir, a masterpiece. I wish to obtain that book, sir. I will pay very well indeed to obtain it. Winger has been doing my legwork for me, searching. As you can see, I am not cut out for strenuous effort, however much I might wish it to be otherwise. She has been hunting diligently, of course hoping to separate me from a substantial portion of my wealth. But fortune has not been kind to her. Her only success has been to discover that you may have some knowledge of the book's whereabouts." He beamed at me. Before I could get a word in, he continued, "Well, then, sir, from what I have learned of your situation, it's likely you could use a substantial sum. Paid in the metal of your choice."
"I sure could. I wish I had something to sell. I don't know where she got the idea I know anything about any book."
"Come, sir. Come. Let us not play games with one another. Let us not bandy words I have said that I will pay well to obtain that book, and I will. My word is good, as any fool can discover by posing a few questions in the ores and metals community. But if you do go asking about me there, you will also discover that I have a reputation for getting what I want."
I didn't doubt it a bit "All I can tell you about the book is that it exists, maybe, supposedly incomplete. But I don't have the faintest idea where."
"Come, sir. Surely you don't expect me to..."
"I don't expect you to do anything but stay out of my hair."
"Sir..."
"I told you I don't know where it is. You did some checking on me, eh? I tefl the truth? The truth is, I was looking for it myself. For a client. I succeeded only in finding the man who stole it."
"Ah, sir. Now we're getting somewhere."
"We're getting nowhere The guy was dead."
He chuckled. "Unfortunate. Most unfortunate." I got the feeling this wasn't news.
I spotted another of those guys who had chased me. It finally sank in. Here was my third force. This nut and his brunos. Those guys probably sent Blaine to the promised land. Maybe they'd done the same with Squirrel. I said, "I don't want anything more to do with this book. It's gotten a bunch of people killed already. It's got the Dwarf Fort dwarves on the warpath. It's got Chodo Contague out for blood because one of his men got cut." That got a small reaction. "It's got a witch called the Serpent and a bunch of renegade dwarves running around the city sniping with crossbows. I don't need to get in the middle of any of that."
Easterman closed his eyes and started talking. Actually, he made some kind of speech, but it wasn't in Karentine. I'd guess Old Forens, which is still around as a liturgical language amongst some of the more staid of TunFaire's thousand cults. I don't know ten words of Old Forens but I've heard it used and this had that cadence.
Good old Fido was a linguist like he was a sorcerer. But what he lacked in talent he made up in enthusiasm. He howled and foamed at the mouth.
I'd come with Winger hoping to ask some questions. Now I didn't care. All I wanted was out. Things were sane outside. There were thunder-lizards in the air for the first time since TunFaire's founding. There were thunder-lizards at the gates. There were centaurs in the streets. There were saber-tooth tigers and mammoths and morCartha and gnomes. My friends had disappeared. Crask and Sadler were acting spookier than ever. But it was sane out there. I could survive in that world out there. I told Winger, "I'm thinking about becoming a bricklayer. Bricklayers don't have these problems."
She shrugged, kept staring at Easterman like he was a genius revealing the secrets of the universe. Maybe she understood him. She was a little bit twitchy herself.
I gave up and more or less went to sleep on my feet, paying just enough attention so nobody walked up and bopped me with a battle-ax without me noticing. I stayed only because Winger wasn't ready to leave. I couldn't leave her with this spook. He might hold a virgin sacrifice, figuring, hell, she used to be and maybe that was close enough. Also, she knew something I wanted to know.
Easterman finished having his fit. "Well, sir. Well," he said, not the least embarrassed. "Do we have an understanding, then?"
His people did manage to be embarrassed. But they covered it and didn't walk out. I suppose he paid very well indeed. He'd have to.
He looked puzzled. As much as he could with all that fat to mask expression "I thought I made myself crystal clear, sir."
"If you made a lick of sense somewhere, I missed it in the smoke."
"Garrett!" Winger cried
Easterman smiled again. I think that was a smile back in there. "Very well, sir. In words even you will understand, then. I want that book. I mean to have that book. I get what I want. Those who help me to obtain it will be well rewarded. Those who attempt to thwart me will not be so fortunate. Is that clear enough?"
"I got it." I returned his smile. "I'll pass the word to Chodo Contague and the Serpent if I run into them I'm sure it'll set them to shaking in their boots so bad they'll scurry out of the way so you'll have an open field." Threat and counter. All very friendly, with knives held behind our backs.
Winger started apologizing for my barbarism. The more I saw of her, the more I couldn't figure her out.
"No matter, child. No matter. The man has an image to maintain. As we all do, of course. As we all do. Very well, sir. I think our business is quite concluded. We understand one another. I was about to dine. Will you join me? I do set a fine table."
I pleaded press of business. I didn't warn to see what kind of table this creep set. Could be hazardous. Wasn't lunch time, anyway.
"Very well, sir. As you will. I hope to be seeing you again soon, in circumstances profitable to us all. Plague."
He gestured at the cadaverous old man. "Escort our guests, if you will."
The old man bowed, then led me and Winger to the castle gate. I kept a sharp eye on the old boy. I didn't need to get pushed through any secret doors. I tried making conversation about his boss. He wasn't having any. Maybe that wasn't smart for a guy in his position.
Winger took up the slack. "I'm disappointed in you."
"I'm disappointed in me a lot, too. What did I do to break your heart?"
"That guy is a ripe fruit."
"A whole orchard."
"Worked right . ."
"I couldn't take the clown. He could probably tell me something I need to know, but I'd like to hold his toes in a fire for a while."
"Garrett!"
"You got yourself tied in with a loony, Winger. He'll get you killed. I'll take your word you weren't working with those guys who chased me a while back. But I noticed some of them were there, hanging around in the background. You better keep your eyes open." I had a feeling they'd been dogging her since Easterman hired her. A character like him would use a tactic like that.