"Well, sorry I couldn't have been of more assistance," the financier said, rising to his feet. "One thing, though, Skeeve, if you don't mind a little advice?"
"What's that?"
"You might try to take a bit more of an active role in your own life. You know... instead of reactive?" That one stopped me short as I was reaching for the door.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing. It was just a thought."
"Well, could you elaborate a little? C'mon, Butterfly! Don't drop a line like that on me without some kind of an explanation to go with it."
"It's really none of my business," he shrugged, "but I couldn't help but notice during your story that you seemed to be living your life reacting to crisis rather than having any real control over things. Your old partner and mentor got dropped in your lap and the two of you teamed up to stop someone who might try to assassinate either of you next. It was Aahz who forced you to try for the job as court magician, and ever since then you've been yielding to pressure, real or perceived, from almost everybody in your life:
Tananda, Massha, the Mob, the Devan Chamber of Commerce... even whatzisname, Grimble and that Badaxe have leaned on you. It just seems to me that for someone as successful as you obviously are, you really haven't shown much gumption or initiative."
His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. I had been shouted out by experts, but somehow Butterfly's calm criticism cut me deeper than any tonguelashing I had ever recieved from Aahz.
"Things have been kind of scrambled..." I started, but the financier cut me off.
"I can see that, and I don't mean to tell you how to run your life. You've had some strong-willed, dominating people who have been doing just that, though, and I'd have to say the main offender has been this fellow, Aahz. Now, I know you're concerned about your friendship, but if I were you, I'd think long and hard about inviting him back into my life until I had gotten my own act together."
Chapter Eleven:
"How come I get all the hard questions?"
—O. NORTH
"SKEEVE! HEY, SKEEVE! Can ya ease up for a bit?" The words finally penetrated my self-imposed fog and I slackened my pace, letting Kalvin catch up with me.
"Whew! Thanks," the Djin said, hovering in his now accustomed place. "I told you before I'm not real strong. Even hovering takes energy, ya know. You were really moving there."
"Sorry," I responded curtly, more out of habit than any thing else.
In all honesty, the Djin's comfort was not a high priority item in my mind just then. I had had Edvik drive us back to the hotel after we left the Butterfly's place. Instead of going on up to my room, however, I had headed off down the sidewalk. The street vendor I had spoken to earlier waved a friendly greeting, but I barely acknowledged it with a curt nod of my head. The Butterfly's observations on my life had loosed an explosion of thoughts in my mind, and I figured maybe a brisk walk would help me sort things out.
I don't know how long I walked before Kalvin's plea snapped me out of my mental wheel-spinning. I had only vague recollections of shouldering my way past slower moving pedestrians and snarling at those who were quick enough to get out of my path on their own. The police would have been pleased to witness it... only on Perv two days and already I could walk down the street like a native.
"Look, do you want to talk about this? Maybe some place sitting down?"
I looked closer at the Djin. He really did look tired, his face streaked with sweat and his little chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Strange, I didn't feel like I had been exerting myself at all.
"Talk about what?" I said, realizing as I spoke that the words were coming out forced and tense.
"Come on, Skeeve. It's obvious that what the Butterfly said back there has you upset. I don't know why, it sounded like pretty good advice to me, but maybe talking it out would help a bit."
"Why should I be upset?" I snapped. "He only challenged all the priorities I've been living by and suggested that my best friend is probably the worst thing in my life. Why should that bother me?"
"It shouldn't," Kalvin responded innocently, "unless, of course, he's right. Then I could see why it would bother you."
I opened my mouth for an angry retort, then shut it again. I really couldn't think of anything to say. The Djin had just verbalized my worst fears, ones I didn't have any answers for.
"... And running away from it won't help! You're going to have to face up to it before you're any good to yourself... or anyone else, for that matter." Kalvin's voice came from behind me, and I realized I had picked up my pace again. At the same moment, I saw that he was right, I was trying to run away from the issues, both figuratively and literally. With that knowledge, the fatigue of my mental and physical efforts hit me all at once and I sagged, slowing to a stop on the sidewalk.
"That's better. Can we talk now?"
"Sure. Why not? I feel like getting something in my stomach, anyway."
The Djin gave a theatrical wince.
"Ootch! You mean we're going to try to find a restaurant again? Remember what happened the last time?"
In spite of myself I had to smile at his antics. "As a matter of fact, I was thinking more on the order of getting something to drink."
While I spoke, I was casting about for a bar. One thing about Perv I had noticed, you never seemed to be out of sight of at least one establishment that served alcoholic beverages. This spot proved to be no exception, and now that I was more attuned to my environment, I discovered just such a place right next to where we were standing.
"This looks like as good a spot as any," I said, reaching for the door. "C'mon, Kalvin, I'll buy the first round." It was meant as a joke, because I hadn't seen the Djin eat or drink anything since I released him from the bottle. He seemed quite agitated at the thought, however, hanging back instead of moving with me.
"Wait, Skeeve, I don't think we should..." I didn't dally to hear the rest. What the heck, this had been his idea... sort of. Fighting a sudden wave of irritation, I pushed on into the bar's interior.
At first glance, the place looked a little seedy. Also the second and third glances, though it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim light. It was small, barely big enough to hold the half-dozen tiny tables that crowded the floor. Sagging pictures and clippings adorned the walls, though what they were about specifically I couldn't tell through the grime obscuring their faces. There was a small bar with stools along one wall, where three tough-looking patrons crouched hunched forward in conversation with the bartender. They ceased talking and regarded me briefly with cold, unfriendly stares as I surveyed the place, though whether their hostility was because I was a stranger or be cause I was from off-dimension I wasn't sure. It did occur to me that I was still wearing my disguise spell business suit which definitely set me apart from the dark, weather beaten outfits the other patrons wore almost like a uniform. It also occurred to me that this might not be the wisest place to have a quiet drink.
"I think we should get out of here, Skeeve." I don't know when Kalvin rejoined me, but he was there hovering at my side again. His words echoed my own thoughts, but sheer snorkiness made me take the opposite stance.
"Don't be a snob, Kalvin," I muttered. "Besides, sitting down for a while was your idea, wasn't it?" Before he could answer, I strode to one of the tables and plopped down in a seat, raising one hand to signal the bartender. He ignored it and returned to his conversation with the other drinkers.
"C'mon, Skeeve. Let's catch a cab back to the hotel and have our conversation there," Kalvin said, joining me. "You're in no frame of mind to start drinking. It'll only make things worse."