"So, have you two been on Perv long?"

The driver's voice dragged me back to the present my mind had been trying so desperately to ignore. "Just got here today. In fact."

Suddenly, I zeroed in on what he had said.

"Excuse me, did you say ‘you two?'"

The driver bobbed his head in acknowledgment. "That's right. It isn't often I get a Klahd or a Djin, much less one of each in the same fare." He not only knew how many we were, he had spotted what we were! Needless to say, the news was not welcome.

"What the..." Kalvin started, but I silenced him with a gesture. |

"Before I answer, do you mind my asking how you knew?" I said, casually glancing around to see if there was a way we could exit rapidly if necessary.

"Scanned you when you got in," the driver said, pointing briefly to a small screen amidst the clutter of his other devices. "A cabbie can't be too careful these days... not with the crime rate the way it is. We're moving targets for every amateur stick-up artist or hijacker who needs a quick bankroll. I had that baby installed so I'd know in advance what was sittin' down behind me."

He shot me a quick wink over his shoulder. "Don't worry, though. I won't charge you extra for the Djin. He don't take up much space. So far as I can tell, you two are harmless enough."

That reassured me, at least to a point where I no longer considered jumping from the moving vehicle. "I take it you don't share the general low opinion of folks from off-dimension?"

"Don't make no never mind to me, as long as you pay your way," the driver waved. "As far as I can tell, you got enough money on ya that I don't think you'll try to welch on anything as piddling as a cab fare. Keep up the disguise, though. Some of the merchants around here will raise their prices at the sight of someone from off-dimension just to make you feel unwelcome... and things are already priced sky-high."

"Thanks for the warning."

"... And you might be careful carrying so much cash. Everything you've heard about crime on the streets in this place is true. In fact, you'd probably be best off hiring yourself a bodyguard while you're here. If you want, I can recommend a couple good ones."

"You know, that might not be a bad idea," Kalvin said. "In case I hadn't mentioned it, Djinger is a pretty peaceful dimension. I won't be much help to you in a fight."

I ignored him as the cabbie continued, apparently unable to hear the Djin despite his various devices. Remembering some of the dangers I had faced in my adventures, the idea of hiring someone to guard me just to walk down the street seemed a little ludicrous.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm pretty good at looking out for myself."

"Suit yourself, it was just a suggestion. Say, you want something to eat? I sell snack packs."

He used one hand to pick up a box from the seat beside him and shove it in my direction. It was filled with small bags with stuff oozing through the sides.

"Uh... not just now, thanks," I said, trying to fight down the sudden queasiness I felt.

The driver was not to be daunted. He tossed the box back onto the seat and snatched up a booklet. "How about a guidebook, then? I write and print ‘em myself. It's better'n anything you'll find on the stands... and cheaper, too."

That might have come in handy, but glancing at it I could see the print was a series of squiggles and hieroglyphics that were meaningless to me. I always travel with a translator pendant to get around the language barrier, but unfortunately its powers don't extend to the written word.

"I don't suppose you have a Klahdish translation, do you?"

"Sorry," he said, tossing the booklet in the same general direction the box had gone. "I'm takin' a few courses to try to learn some other languages, but Klahdish isn't one of them. Not enough demand, ya know?"

Despite my continuing concern over his attention to his driving, the cabbie was beginning to interest me. "I must say you're enterprising enough. Cab driver, publisher, cook, translator... is there anything else you do?"

"Oh, I'm into a lot of things. Photography, tour guide... I even draw a little. Some of these drawings I did. I'd be willing to part with them for the right price." He gestured at some of the sheets adorning the interior, and the cab veered dangerously to the right.

"Ah... actually, I was interested in something else you said just now."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Tour guide."

"Oh, that. Sure. I love to when I get the chance. It's sweet money. Beats the heck out of fighting the other hacks for fares all day long."

I glanced at Kalvin and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Go ahead," he said. "We could use a guide, and you seem to be getting along with this guy pretty well. You know what they say, ‘Better the Deveel you know.' "

Obviously the Djin's knowledge did not extend to Deveels, but this wasn't the time or place to instruct him. I turned my attention back to the driver. "I was thinking of hiring you more as a guide than a tour guide. How much do you make a day with this cab?"

"Well, on a good day I can turn better than a hundred."

"Uh-huh," I said. "How about on an average day?"

That earned me another over-the-shoulder glance.

"I gotta say, fella, you sure don't talk like a Klahd."

"I live at the Bazaar at Deva," I smiled. "It does wonders for your bargaining skills. How much?"

We haggled back and forth for a few minutes, but eventually settled on a figure. It seemed fair, and I wasn't exactly in a position to be choosy. If the device the cabbie had used was widespread in his profession, my disguise would be blown the second I stepped into a cab, and there was no guarantee the next driver would be as well disposed toward off-dimensioners as our current junior entrepreneur.

"Okay, you've got yourself a guide," the driver said at last. "Now, who am I working for?"

"I'm Skeeve, and the Djin with me is Kalvin."

"Don't know about the Djin," the cabbie shrugged. "Either he don't talk much or I can't hear him. Pleased to meetcha, though, Mr. Skeeve. I'm Edvik." He extended a hand into the back seat, which I shook cautiously. I had encountered Pervish handshakes before and could still feel them in my joints in wet weather. "So, where do you want to go first?"

That seemed like a strange question to me, but I answered it anyway.

"To a hotel, same as before."

"Uh-uh."

"Excuse me?" I said, puzzled.

"Hey, you hired a guide, you're going to get one. You're about to check into a hotel, right?"

"That's right."

"Well, you try to check into a Pervish hotel the way you are, without luggage, and they're going to give you a rough time whether they figure you're from off-dimension or not. They'll be afraid that you're trying to get access to a room to steal the furniture or maybe to try to break into other rooms on the same floor."

That was a new concept to me. While I had a fairly extensive wardrobe at home, I usually traveled light when I was working... like with the clothes I was wearing and money. It had never occurred to me that a lack of luggage would cause people to be suspicious of my intentions. "What do you think, Kalvin?"

"Beats me," the Djin shrugged "I've never run into the problem. Of course, I travel in a bottle and people can't see me anyway."

"Well, what do you recommend, Edvik?"

"Let me take you by a department store. You can pick up a small bag there and maybe some stuff to put in it. Believe me, it'll pay in the long run in dealing with a hotel."

I pondered the point for a moment, then decided it was senseless to hire a guide, then not listen to his advice. "All right," I said at last. "How far is it to this store you were talking about?"

"Oh, not far at all. Hang on!"