"You don't need them, deshida," she sighed. "I know how you feel. I'm just telling you that you don't need to feel the way you do. As far as I am concerned, you did the right thing. It was just the part of you that understands the brutality of war that acted outside of your human need for mercy."

"It wasn't like that."

"Was it? Did you not attack your enemies? Didn't you escape from them? It seems pretty obvious to me."

"I didn't like not having a choice!" he said in a sudden hiss, then he turned away from her. "Every time I close my eyes, I can see their faces, Allia! I can see how they stared at me just before I killed them!"

"That's because you won't let it go, brother!" she said in a sudden pleading voice, turning him around with a hand on his shoulder. She grabbed his paws in her hands, and held them up so the manacles were before his eyes. "You will never find peace until you can let it go!"

"I can't," he said, closing his eyes. "I can never let that happen again."

"It will," Dolanna's calm voice came from behind her. He turned to look at her, but she showed no reservation at staring into his eyes. "You cannot stop it, Tarrin. It is a reflexive reaction within you, and it is a very common condition throughout all of Were-kin. Did you think you were alone? Unique? Even natural-born Were-kin suffer from the rages." She approached him. "Allia is right. You must let it go. Instead of torturing yourself over what you have done and dreading what will happen again, you must instead strive to limit the damage you can do while in a rage. You must learn how to channel the animal within so that it does not do anything you will regret."

Tarrin gave Dolanna a hot look, enough to make almost anyone else shrink back, but Dolanna had no fear of him. "You must learn to guide the rage, Tarrin," she told him. "Lead the Cat away from doing anything that you will regret. It will listen to you, if you are strong enough. You have spent a month up in that rigging instead of down here where I can teach you. Whose fault is that?"

His hot look suddenly turned sheepish, and he tried to look away from her. "I have given you time, but you have no more. Tomorrow, we go back into the world. Do you feel ready?"

"I, I don't know," he said, closing his eyes.

"You must be," she said. "We are depending on you, Tarrin. We need you." She looked to her left. "Azakar, take Tarrin down to the galley and get him something to eat. I know he missed lunch."

"Yes ma'am," he said in his deep voice. "Come on, Tarrin."

"I'm not hungry," he said.

"That's too bad," Azakar said mildly. "I guess I'll just have to force-feed you."

"You wouldn't dare," Tarrin said in a sudden, savage hiss, his ears laying back.

"You can drop the theatrics," Azakar told him casually. "You won't hurt me, and you know you need to eat. You're already as thin as a stick. You don't have any weight to lose. Now let's go down to the galley."

His eyes igniting from within with their greenish radiance, Tarrin extended the claws on his paw, laid his ears back, and presented it to the hulking Knight threateningly.

"Azakar, I think you should step back now," Dolanna said in a very carefully neutral voice. "Slowly."

"Mistress Dolanna, he needs- aiiee!! " he broke in a gasp, pulling a bleeding hand back. He held the back of his hand and stared at the Were-cat in surprise, and not a little shock, but Tarrin's ominous expression did not change in the slightest.

"I said I'm not hungry," he said in a dangerous, low tone. "Now leave me alone!"

Turning, he took three steps, then scrambled up the mast so quickly that a man running on the ground could not have covered the same distance as fast.

"He's losing his fear of Azakar," Faalken noted, coming over as Dolanna healed the deep scratches in the back of Azakar's hand and wrist. The Knight looked up, seeing the Were-cat up on the highest boom, just atop the uppermost sail on the mizzenmast.

"In the future, Azakar, I would refrain from using the word force around him," Dolanna chided. "That is not how you make Tarrin do things."

"I'm sorry, Mistress. I forgot."

"It is a dangerous game you play, my young friend," Dolanna told him. "Yours is a task much akin to taming a wild beast, and he can be dangerous. You cannot afford to forget. Tarrin will harm you if you push him too far, as you have just discovered."

"I was just trying to do what you do."

"Tarrin does not see you the same way he sees me," she told him. "Allia, Keritanima and myself are the only ones who can treat him in that manner. I suggest you remember that."

"Yes Dolanna," he said, rubbing the healed skin gingerly. "I hope that doesn't eat at him too much. I know it wasn't his fault. I could tell that it wasn't entirely him doing it."

"No, it was not. And that is the problem," she sighed. "Tarrin is becoming more and more unstable. He needs time, time to himself and time off this ship, but we have so little to give him. We must get to Dayise as quickly as possible."

Den Gauche was a riot of conflicting colors.

The city wall was built of stone, but almost all the houses beyond those walls were made of wattle and daub or timber, and they were all painted different colors. The roofs of all the houses was the only conformity of color, a bright red tile that created eerie lines and rows among the city's significant rise from the harbor up a hill. The castle of Den Gauche stood well over their heads, on the peak of the tall hill upon the side of which the city was built. The city curled around the sides of the hill, and there was a plateau of sorts about halfway up where most of the larger buildings were constructed. Tarrin had never seen such a large city built on the side of a hill before, and it was definitely an interesting sight.

They were all near the bow, staring at the large harbor and city as the ship approached through a very light early morning mist. The city was large, and even from their vantage, it was a very busy and crowded place. Many men could be seen along the docks of the large harbor, bustling here and there, carrying bundles, or riding on horses. Huge wooden contraptions that Keritanima called cargo cranes sat upon wheels of steel, which themselves sat upon steel rails attached to the quays and docks. Those cranes had immense hooks suspended by large ropes, and they lowered to ships and picked up large nets and pallets filled with goods, then swung them over to the deck, where waiting dock workers would unload the cargo. Suld didn't have such things, and Tarrin marvelled at their design and their efficiency for quite a while.

"How do the hooks go up and down?" Tarrin asked Dolanna curiously.

"Most are attached to animal trains," Keritanima answered for him, pointing to a team of large horses or mules not far from a crane. "They use a very complex pulley system and a counterweight so that only a small number of animals are needed to lift a much heavier weight than normal. The big cranes are fixed to that position, and those little ones are on rails, so they can move up and down the dock."

"You said most of them use horses. What do the others use?"

"Men turning a winch," she replied. "It only takes about four men to pick up a few tons, if the counterweight and pulleys are set up right. We use cranes like these in Wikuna." She smoothed the fur on her cheek absently. "They're experimenting with putting a steam engine in it to drive the winch, which would allow the crane to pick up much heavier loads."

"That sounds dangerous."

"True, but then only two men could operate the crane, instead of nine or ten."

"Since I have all of you here, it is best we discuss things now," Dolanna announced. "Shaceans are a people not like what you are used to dealing with," she told them. "They are a very lively and energetic people. Do not be offended by them if they touch you or kiss you on the cheek. Those are customs here."