A corporal-instructor from some other battalion stepped forward with the whip. The Sergeant of the Guard made the count.

It's a slow count, five seconds between each one and it seems much longer. Ted didn't let out a peep until the third, then he sobbed.

The next thing I knew I was staring up at Corporal Bronski. He was slapping me and looking intently at me. He stopped and asked, "Okay now? All right, back in ranks. On the bounce; we're about to pass in review." We did so and marched back to our company areas. I didn't eat much dinner but neither did a lot of them.

Nobody said a word to me about fainting. I found out later that I wasn't the only one—a couple of dozen of us had passed out.

What we obtain too cheap, we

esteem too lightly... it would be

strange indeed if so celestial an

article as FREEDOM should not be

highly rated.

Thomas Paine

It was the night after Hendrick was kicked out that I reached my lowest slump at Camp Currie. I couldn't sleep—and you have to have been through boot camp to understand just how far down a recruit has to sink before that can happen. But I hadn't had any real exercise all day so I wasn't physically tired, and my shoulder still hurt even though I had been marked "duty," and I had that letter from my mother preying on my mind, and every time I closed my eyes I would hear that crack! and see Ted slump against the whipping post.

I wasn't fretted about losing my boot chevrons. That no longer mattered at all because I was ready to resign, determined to. If it hadn't been the middle of the night and no pen and paper handy, I would have done so right then.

Ted had made a bad mistake, one that lasted all of half a second. And it really had been just a mistake, too, because, while he hated the outfit (who liked it?), he had been trying to sweat it out and win his franchise; he meant to go into politics—he talked a lot about how, when he got his citizenship, "There will be some changes made—you wait and see."

Well, he would never be in public office now; he had taken his finger off his number for a single instant and he was through.

If it could happen to him, it could happen to me. Suppose I slipped? Next day or next week? Not even allowed to resign... but drummed out with my back striped.

Time to admit that I was wrong and Father was right, time to put in that little piece of paper and slink home and tell Father that I was ready to go to Harvard and then go to work in the business -- if he would still let me. Time to see Sergeant Zim, first thing in the morning, and tell him that I had had it. But not until morning, because you don't wake Sergeant Zim except for something you're certain that he will class as an emergency -- believe me, you don't! Not Sergeant Zim.

Sergeant Zim—

He worried me as much as Ted's case did. After the court-martial was over and Ted had been taken away, he stayed behind and said to Captain Frankel, "May I speak with the Battalion Commander, sir?"

"Certainly. I was intending to ask you to stay behind for a word. Sit down."

Zim flicked his eyes my way and the Captain looked at me and I didn't have to be told to get out; I faded. There was nobody in the outer office, just a couple of civilian clerks. I didn't dare go outside because the Captain might want me; I found a chair back of a row of files and sat down.

I could hear them talking, through the partition I had my head against.

BHQ was a building rather than a tent, since it housed permanent communication and recording equipment, but it was a "minimum field building," a shack; the inner partitions weren't much. I doubt if the civilians could hear as they each were wearing transcriber phones and were bent over typers—besides, they didn't matter. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. Uh, well, maybe I did.

Zim said: "Sir, I request transfer to a combat team."

Frankel answered: "I can't hear you, Charlie. My tin ear is bothering me again."

Zim: "I'm quite serious, sir. This isn't my sort of duty."

Frankel said testily, "Quit bellyaching your troubles to me, Sergeant. At least wait until we've disposed of duty matters. What in the world happened?"

Zim said stiffly, "Captain, that boy doesn't rate ten lashes."

Frankel answered, "Of course he doesn't. You know who goofed—and so do I."

"Yes, sir. I know."

"Well? You know even better than I do that these kids are wild animals at this stage. You know when it's safe to turn your back on them and when it isn't. You know the doctrine and the standing orders about article nine-oh-eight-oh -- you must never give them a chance to violate it. Of course some of them are going to try it—if they weren't aggressive they wouldn't be material for the M. I. They're docile in ranks; it's safe enough to turn your back when they're eating, or sleeping, or sitting on their tails and being lectured. But get them out in the field in a combat exercise, or anything that gets them keyed up and full of adrenaline, and they're as explosive as a hatful of mercury fulminate. You know that, all you instructors know that; you're trained -- trained to watch for it, trained to snuff it out before it happens. Explain to me how it was possible for an untrained recruit to hang a mouse on your eye? He should never have laid a hand on you; you should have knocked him cold when you saw what he was up to. So why weren't you on the bounce? Are you slowing down?"

"I don't know," Zim answered slowly. "I guess I must be."

"Hmm! If true, a combat team is the last place for you. But it's not true. Or wasn't true the last time you and I worked out together, three days ago. So what slipped?"

Zim was slow in answering. "I think I had him tagged in my mind as one of the safe ones."

"There are no such."

"Yes, sir. But he was so earnest, so doggedly determined to sweat it out—he didn't have any aptitude but he kept on trying—that I must have done that, subconsciously." Zim was silent, then added, "I guess it was because I liked him."

Frankel snorted. "An instructor can't afford to like a man."

"I know it, sir. But I do. They're a nice bunch of kids. We've dumped all the real twerps by now—Hendrick's only shortcoming, aside from being clumsy, was that he thought he knew all the answers. I didn't mind that; I knew it all at that age myself. The twerps have gone home and those that are left are eager, anxious to please, and on the bounce—as cute as a litter of collie pups. A lot of them will make soldiers."

"So that was the soft spot. You liked him... so you failed to clip him in time. So he winds up with a court and the whip and a B. C. D. Sweet."

Zim said earnestly, "I wish to heaven there were some way for me to take that flogging myself, sir."

"You'd have to take your turn, I outrank you. What do you think I've been wishing the past hour? What do you think I was afraid of from the moment I saw you come in here sporting a shiner? I did my best to brush it off with administrative punishment and the young fool wouldn't let well enough alone. But I never thought he would be crazy enough to blurt out that he had hung one on you -- he's stupid; you should have eased him out of the outfit weeks ago... instead of nursing him along until he got into trouble. But blurt it out he did, to me, in front of witnesses, forcing me to take of official notice of it—and that licked us. No way to get it off the record, no way to avoid a court... just go through the whole dreary mess and take our medicine, and wind up with one more civilian who'll be against us the rest of his days. Because he has to be flogged; neither you nor I can take it for him, even though the fault was ours. Because the regiment has to see what happens when nine-oh-eight-oh is violated. Our fault... but his lumps."