"He can," I assured her. "With Mike you can always make a fresh start--better than humans that way. He can forget so completely that he can't be tempted to look later... and couldn't think about them even if called on to retrieve. So take his offer if you're in a huhu."
"Uh... no, Mike, it's all right for you to see them. But don't show them to Mannie!"
Mike hesitated a long time--four seconds or more. Was, I think, type of dilemma that pushes lesser computers into nervous breakdowns. But he resolved it. "Man my only friend, shall I accept this instruction?"
"Program it, Mike," I answered, "and lock it in. But, Wyoh, isn't that a narrow attitude? One might do you justice. Mike could print it out for me next time I'm there."
"The first example in each series," Mike offered, "would be, on the basis of my associational analyses of such data, of such pulchritudinous value as to please any healthy, mature human male."
"How about it, Wyoh? To pay for apleistrudel."
"Uh... a picture of me with my hair pinned up in a towel and standing in front of a grid without a trace of makeup? Are you out of your rock-happy mind? Mike, don't let him have it!"
"I shall not let him have it. Man, this is a not-stupid?"
"For a girl, yes. Girls are interesting, Mike; they can reach conclusions with even less data than you can. Shall we drop subject and consider jokes?"
That diverted them. We ran down list, giving our conclusions. Then tried to explain jokes Mike had failed to understand. With mixed success. But real stumbler turned out to be stories I had marked "funny" and Wyoh had judged "not" or vice versa; Wyoh asked Mike his opinion of each.
Wish she had asked him before we gave our opinions; that electronic juvenile delinquent always agreed with her, disagreed with me. Were those Mike's honest opinions? Or was he trying to lubricate new acquaintance into friendship? Or was it his skewed notion of humor--joke on me? Didn't ask.
But as pattern completed Wyob wrote a note on phone's memo pad: "Mannie, re --17, 51, 53, 87, 90, & 99--Mike is a she!"
I let it go with a shrug, stood up. "Mike, twenty-two hours since I've had sleep. You kids chat as long as you want to. Call you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Man. Sleep well. Wyoh, are you sleepy?"
"No, Mike, I had a nap. But, Mannie, we'll keep you awake. No?"
"No. When I'm sleepy, I sleep." Started making couch into bed.
Wyoh said, "Excuse me, Mike," got up, took sheet out of my hands. "I'll make it up later. You doss over there, tovarishch; you're bigger than I am. Sprawl out."
Was too tired to argue, sprawled out, asleep at once. Seem to remember hearing in sleep giggles and a shriek but never woke enough to be certain.
Woke up later and came fully awake when I realized was hearing two fem voices, one Wyoh's warm contralto, other a sweet, high soprano with French accent. Wyoh chuckled at something and answered, "All right, Michelle dear, I'll call you soon. 'Night, darling."
"Fine. Goodnight, dear."
Wyoh stood up, turned around. "Who's your girl friend?" I asked. Thought she knew no one in Luna City. Might have phoned Hong Kong... had sleep-logged feeling was some reason she shouldn't phone.
"That? Why, Mike, of course. We didn't mean to wake you."
"What?"
"Oh. It was actually Michelle. I discussed it with Mike, what sex he was, I mean. He decided that he could be either one. So now she's Michelle and that was her voice. Got it right the first time, too; her voice never cracked once."
"Of course not; just shifted voder a couple of octaves. What are you trying to do: split his personality?"
"It's not just pitch; when she's Michelle its an entire change in manner and attitude. Don't worry about splitting her personality; she has plenty for any personality she needs. Besides, Mannie, it's much easier for both of us. Once she shifted, we took our hair down and cuddled up and talked girl talk as if we had known each other forever. For example, those silly pictures no longer embarrassed me--in fact we discussed my pregnancies quite a lot. Michelle was terribly interested. She knows all about O.B. and G.Y. and so forth but just theory--and she appreciated the raw facts. Actually, Mannie, Michelle is much more a woman than Mike was a man."
"Well... suppose it's okay. Going to be a shock to me first time I call Mike and a woman answers."
"Oh, but she won't!"
"Huh?"
"Michelle is my friend. When you call, you'll get Mike. She gave me a number to keep it straight--'Michelle' spelled with a Y. M Y, C, H, E, L, L, E, and Y, Y, Y make it come out ten."
I felt vaguely jealous while realizing it was silly. Suddenly Wyoh giggled. "And she told me a string of new jokes, ones you wouldn't think were funny--and, boy, does she know rough ones!"
"Mike--or his sister Michelle--is a low creature. Let's make up couch. I'll switch."
"Stay where you are. Shut up. Turn over. Go back to sleep." I shut up, turned over, went back to sleep.
Sometime much later I became aware of "married" feeling--something warm snuggled up to my back. Would not have wakened but she was sobbing softly. I turned and got her head on my arm, did not speak. She stopped sobbing; presently breathing became slow and even. I went back to sleep.
5
We must have slept like dead for next thing I knew phone was sounding and its light was blinking. I called for room lights, started to get up, found a load on right upper arm, dumped it gently, climbed over, answered.
Mike said, "Good morning, Man. Professor de la Paz is talking to your home number."
"Can you switch it here? As a 'Sherlock'?"
"Certainly, Man."
"Don't interrupt call. Cut him in as he switches off. Where is he?"
"A public phone in a taproom called The Iceman's Wife underneath the--"
"I know. Mike, when you switch me in, can you stay in circuit? Want you to monitor."
"It shall be done."
"Can you tell if anyone is in earshot? Hear breathing?"
"I infer from the anechoic quality of his voice that he is speaking under a hush hood. But I infer also that, in a taproom, others would be present. Do you wish to hear, Man?"
"Uh, do that. Switch me in. And if he raises hood, tell me. You're a smart cobber, Mike."
"Thank you, Man." Mike cut me in; I found that Mum was talking: "--ly I'll tell him, Professor. I'm so sorry that Manuel is not home. There is no number you can gave me? He is anxious to return your call; he made quite a point that I was to be sure to get a number from you."
"I'm terribly sorry, dear lady, but I'm leaving at once. But, let me see, it is now eight-fifteen; I'll try to call back just at nine, if I may."
"Certainly, Professor." Mum's voice had a coo in it that she reserves for males not her husbands of whom she approves--sometimes for us. A moment later Mike said, "Now!" and I spoke up:
"Hi, Prof! Hear you've been looking for me. This is Mannie."
I heard a gasp. "I would have sworn I switched this phone off. Why, I have switched it off; it must be broken. Manuel--so good to hear your voice, dear boy. Did you just get home?"
"I'm not home."
"But--but you must be. I haven't--"
"No time for that, Prof. Can anyone overhear you?"
"I don't think so. I'm using a hush booth."
"Wish I could see. Prof, what's my birthday?"
He hesitated. Then he said, "I see. I think I see. July fourteenth."
"I'm convinced. Okay, let's talk."
"You're really not calling from your home, Manuel? Where are you?"
"Let that pass a moment. You asked my wife about a girl. No names needed. Why do you want to find her, Prof?"
"I want to warn her. She must not try to go back to her home city. She would be arrested."