"They'll go crazy looking for you."

"Crazy…you ever have a suicide dream, Burke?"

"What's a suicide dream?"

"Where you dream of killing yourself. You ever dream of killing yourself?"

"I did once."

"What happened?"

"I dreamed I was real depressed. Sad like there wasn't any reason to keep on. So I made a list. Of all the people I wanted to take with me. Figured I was gonna die anyway, I'd just start blasting everyone on the list. Sooner or later, one of them would get me. Save me the trouble."

"Did it work?"

"No." I felt crazy laughter bubble in me. "I got through the whole list. Then I didn't want to die anymore."

"My list is too long. Yours too?"

"Not anymore."

"You all settled up?"

I thought about Train. Julio. "Just about."

"What'd you use on that Mortay?"

"Use?"

"To off him."

It was like talking into a machine. But not a tape recorder. "A.38 Special. And I dropped a grenade on his face after he went down."

The machine's voice lightened. Wesley's laugh. "A fucking.38? A pistol? Why didn't you just throw rocks at him?"

"I got it done."

"He was supposed to be real good. Like Max here. You got him with a pistol, he must have been close."

"He was."

"Chump."

"I know. Now. Now's too late." For Belle.

"Anything I can do for you?"

"You mean…?"

"What I do. I'm almost done."

"Just Julio. And Train."

"So I was right. From the beginning. You were on his case."

"No I wasn't. Things changed. I learned something."

"Something about a kid?"

"Yeah."

"That soft spot- it's like a bull's-eye on your back."

"Nothing I can do."

"It's not your problem, right? Not your kid."

"I didn't want it like this. I wanted to be…something else."

"What?"

I dragged deep on my smoke, looked into the monster's eyes. "I wanted to be you," I told him.

"No you don't. I'm not afraid. Of anything. It's not worth it."

"Wesley, what do you know about Train? What made you think I was on his case?"

"The guy who hired me. I figured it had to be something like that. He knew your name."

And then he said the man's name. Danielle's father. The man with the special basement on Long Island.

I threw my cigarette on the floor. Ground it out.

The monster knew. "There are no good guys, Burke. You're a thief- go back to stealing."

I didn't like the sound of my voice. "Not just yet."

He read my thoughts. "He's on the house. Keep your list short. I'll meet him after Train's done. To get the rest of my money. I'll leave him where I meet him."

I lit another smoke. "I told Train I'd take care of you."

"Good. They're easier when they're sleeping."

"You need a ride anywhere?"

"No. I got a car stashed just down the street. I'll get rid of the stuff first, then I'm gone."

Max bowed to Wesley. The monster moved his head in return. Stiffly, like he wasn't used to it.

I followed Max down the stairs.

THE ALL-NEWS station had nothing.about the killing on the way back to Manhattan, but it was all they were talking about by the time I got up in the morning. Ghost stories. The one I liked best had Colombians blasting the don from a speedboat passing under the bridge.

I DROVE OUT to the junkyard. Sat down with the Mole. Told him about a girl named Elvira. About selective breeding, supervised by slime.

I drove back to the city in a black Ford four-door sedan. Max followed in Morehouse's Datsun.

IN MY OFFICE, I went over the Ma Bell printout the ex-cop had gotten for me. One of Train's six numbers had no long-distance calls at all. Never used up its message units either. A dead line. For incoming.

It was one of the numbers stored in Candy's phone.

JULIO LEFT A MESSAGE for me at Mama's. I called him at his club.

"What d'you want, old man? You think I'm setting up a meeting now, you're crazy. You got nothing to threaten me with."

He sounded strong, alive. In control. "Who said anything about threats? Cut that out. Talk sense. We're on the same side. Your problem disappeared with my problem, okay? I'm gonna make some moves of my own now. There's one little thing…"

"What?"

"The bitch, she has something for me. Something I wrote down once. She says she'll give it back, I give her a present."

"Why tell me?"

"She's a crazy woman, you know that. She has something stuck in her head, there's no talking to her. She wants to give it to you. You bring it to me, you take the present back to her. Then it's done."

"Get somebody else."

"I would. It's her, okay? You know what she's like."

"I'm not going to see her."

"Hey! Somebody's gotta do it. I'll take care of you, don't worry."

"And then we're quits."

"On my honor."

I CALLED STREGA. "You called him?"

"Yes."

"You couldn't leave it alone?"

"Don't be mad. You know I told you the truth. And he wants the letter. It's in the way now. The little man has big plans."

I HEARD the slug muffle the phone with his greasy hand. "The guy wants Don Julio."

"I'm here," he snapped into the phone.

"She says she'll hand it over to me. Out in the open. She wants to see it happen."

"What's that mean?"

"It means you come. Alone. I come. Alone. She drives up. Hands me what you want while you watch. Goes back to her car. I give you the letter for the present you have for her. You wait while I take it over to her. I get in my car and we all go home."

"My boys won't like me going anywhere alone."

"You're the boss, right? Who cares what they like."

"All right. Where?"

"You know her. Queens it's got to be. You're coming from Shea Stadium, okay? On the Grand Central. Just before La Guardia, there's a gas station. You pull over there, where there's a railing. You can park the car, walk down to the water. Where guys fish in the summertime. Got it?"

"Yeah."

"She says tomorrow. Eleven o'clock in the morning. You park all the way to the right. She'll be there, parked to the left. I pull in between you. Get it done."

"I'll be there."

I called Strega. Told her what tomorrow was going to be.

WESLEY said Julio was on the house. A trade for the don. But the don had been Wesley's killing. All his. Danielle's father had turned me into a dog. A hunting dog that fetched his raw meat back. He had to pay. Wesley said he'd do that freak. In his soundproof basement. Train was a trade. Not all mine, but enough.

I couldn't let Wesley within shooting range of Strega- the monster might feel the heat. And strike. Strega. The witch-bitch. She'd set it up this way. "You wouldn't let anything happen to me." Wesley was out.

At eight-thirty, I swung into the gas station. Told the guy to fill it up. Max got out to go to the men's room. The pump jockey filled the tank, took my money. I drove off alone.

A couple of minutes after eleven, I backed into the lot. Strega's BMW on my left, Julio's Caddy on the right. I swung the Plymouth between them. Got out, opened my trunk, left it open. Walked to Julio's car. His window snicked down. I put my head inside, checked the back seat. Empty.

"Get out, Julio."

He showed me a thick envelope. "I thought you were supposed to get the letter first."