"Which you did anyway," Teldin mumbled. On seeing the stricken look on Gomja's face, he hastily added, "Bad joke. Just forget it. Go on."

Gomja nodded somberly, then his chest swelled. "Well, we broke out into the corridor leading to the rest of the ship, and my platoon was doing an excellent job of driving back the slaves the neogi were sending toward us, when an umber hulk came right through the enemy's ranks with a little present for us: a cask of smokepowder with a burning fuse. It would have been sufficient to stop our advance dead, as they say, if I had not taken the liberty of removing the cask from the beast's claws first and tossing it behind us into the bridge. I tried to shut the door and block it, but the umber hulk had my attention by then, and the explosion knocked all of us down, friend and foe alike. I'm afraid the poor soul in the lifejammer had no way to escape. The ship lost power, and we went down. We braced ourselves as well as we could, and most of my platoon made it out. The deathspider didn't sink right away, luckily for us. Gnomes from the shore got to us rather quickly, all said and done. I even had a tattoo placed on my chest to commemorate the victory."

Gomja retrieved the towel, vigorously blew his huge nose once more, then replaced the towel as before. Except for the red circles around his eyes, he now looked quite buoyant. "The best part of it all, sir, was that the gnomes were able to retrieve the helm from the deathspider and modify it. We also took several neogi prisoners, though I'm afraid they didn't last long in the gnomes' hands. Research committees in the Healers', Zoologists', and Military guilds wanted to examine them, and the results were quite ghastly. The umber hulks, those that hadn't drowned, had to be slain, except for one that went to a research committee." Gomja shivered. "Many of the neogi's prisoners were freed, though they had no idea of what to do with themselves. I believe they were turned over to the local human authorities for care."

"This still doesn't tell me how you came to be here," Teldin reminded him.

"Sorry, sir. Anyway, the neogi helm was repaired and revamped, and a new spelljammer was built, a galleon-type based on a merchant sailing ship that the gnomes had on hand for some reason. I was offered a chance to ride the ship into space, though some of the gnomes wanted me to remain on Mount Nevermind as director of the Military Guild. I felt it the wiser course to, um-" Gomja lowered his voice, glancing briefly toward the open window "-to seek gainful employment elsewhere, if you understand my drift, sir." Teldin nodded knowingly.

"So we took off," Gomja went on, "and over the next few weeks we consumed a great deal of time fighting pirates and a rather nasty squid ship full of zombies. I earned three more tattoos as a result. I tried to get work with the elven Imperial Fleet, but without success. Eventually, we were directed here by a gnomish sidewheeler-trader, and here we, ah, landed. In fact, our landing was not unlike yours and was in nearly the same spot. The gnomes even renamed the lake on account of us. It used to be called 'The Big Lake.'" Gomja grinned, his ears straight up and his thick, blunt teeth showing.

Teldin shook his head in amazement. It was still too much to believe. "When I saw you last," he said, remembering their parting, "you were Sergeant Gomja. I heard one of the gnomes outside call you colonel-captain something-or-other."

The giff sat fully upright in his heavy wooden chair, his great chest swelling and stretching the fabric of his red uniform to new dimensions. "I am now First Colonel-Commander Herphan Gomja, Commander in Chief of Base Security, Naval Port Walkaway, Ironpiece, My sire would be proud of me if he knew. I am but seventeen years of age, a youth in the eyes of many, but I now have six hundred seventy gnomes, twenty-two humans, and fifty individuals of other races as my subordinates. No other giff in my memory has gained such a command so early." For a moment, his blue face glowed as he spoke.

Teldin tried to suppress a grin but couldn't stop it. Obviously, the giff didn't understand just how ridiculous he sounded. Gomja hadn't changed a bit. The giff saw Teldin's smile and returned it, no doubt thinking that Teldin was pleased for him. "By the way," Teldin asked, "why do they call it Port Walkaway?"

"That, I believe, came from a human's remark to a gnome about the best kind of landing to make with a spelljammer. Her words went something like, 'Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.' I don't believe they actually got the joke, sir."

Teldin groaned. "One thing that you haven't explained," he said as he reached for a cup of water on a bedside table, "is how you got your command so quickly, You can't have been here longer than a few weeks."

Gomja shrugged. "Eight weeks, actually, sir. The security commanders were on strike when we arrived here. There was some disagreement about the appropriate length of unit mottos, I believe. The colony secretary-general hired me to replace the striking gnome commanders, and that was it. It struck me as out of the ordinary for any race but the gnomes, I confess, but I decided not to question an opportunity such as that. After I reorganized the security and marine forces, the gnome commanders asked to sign back on, and I took them as my subordinates. If I may be allowed to wave my own flag, things have run very smoothly these last two months. Your arrival was the first call to action that we've had."

"If I could have warned you, I'd have tried," Teldin said, smiling. "What I don't understand is why you'd take a job here leading gnomes when you were offered the very same position back at Mount Nevermind."

Gomja rolled his small black eyes. "Oh, that. I'm afraid the research committees had begun to take an interest in me, sir, and rather than risk a turn in their examination room and-"

"Stop." Teldin could picture it all too well. "I'm glad to see you, Gomja, however it came about"

"I'm glad to see you, too, sir," Gomja replied with a wide grin, his pert ears giving a wiggle on top of his broad hippopotamus head. "You can't imagine what went through-"

"-your mind, yes." Teldin sank back into his pillow. Suddenly he felt very tired. "Gomja, if you don't mind, I think I need to rest for a while."

"Certainly, sir!" the giff boomed, coming to his feet and thoughtfully retrieving the towel he'd used. The floorboards creaked in protest. "I'll make sure everyone is kept out for a while. The surgeon says you should be up on your feet in another day or two. We've been helping you along with healing spells, as you may be aware, and you're almost as good as new! I'll be staying downstairs in the infirmary here, in room number eight. Call for me if you need anything, sir." The giff threw Teldin a sharp salute, then turned on his broad footpads and opened the door. He hesitated, then looked back just beforeleaving. "Sir," he said, flushing a darker shade of blue, "I just thought I should say that even though I am First Colonel-Commander now, the best promotion I ever had in my life was when you made me a sergeant at Mount Nevermind. I've never forgotten that."

Teldin wasn't sure quite what to say in reply, but he was deeply touched. "I've never forgotten it either. I knew a good soldier when I saw one. Carry on!"

"Right! Good-bye, sir." Beaming, the giff closed the door behind him with a solid thud.

"Good-bye," Teldin said to the door. He closed his eyes. Life had been getting only stranger and stranger since this entire adventure started.

"Psst!"

Teldin started and looked at the open window. A small, elfin face surrounded with gleaming black hair looked back at him with a joyful expression. Bright wildflowers rested in Gaye's hair. She appeared to be hanging onto the outside window ledge by her fingers and elbows.