‘So what is it all about?’ I asked of Hugo Rune.

‘Love, and the pursuit of happiness,’ he replied. ‘Drink up, Rizla – this 1787 Château d’Yquem Sauternes is exceptionally fine.’

I supped at the wine and found it pleasing. But then I would have found most things pleasing, and indeed did so. Which was mostly down to the quantity of gin I had consumed in Mr McMurdo’s office.

‘I was thinking more about the particle physics business,’ I said. ‘I do not really see how it can help the war effort.’

‘Have you ever heard of the atomic bomb?’ asked Hugo Rune.

‘Well, of course I have. It is why we are here, is it not? The Germans getting the bomb before the Allies. And destroying America and winning the war.’

‘It is all to do with splitting the atom.’

‘And this is what Professor Campbell has done, is it?’

‘No,’ said Hugo Rune. ‘I think not. I think his researches took him into a different sphere altogether. But that cannot be confirmed until after luncheon, when we visit his house.’

‘So we will be taking a light luncheon then, will we?’ I made an encouraging face.

Hugo Rune just shook his head. ‘An army marches on its stomach,’ he replied. ‘Hugo Rune strolls sedately upon a full tum.’

We ordered and then consumed some of the most marvellous food I have ever tasted. I recall each course we had and each delicious mouthful.

FIRST COURSES

Gamut of Wrap-Rascal, in scallywag double-de-clutch

Veritable bi-polar launderette (Liberty horse)

Soup of the day. Flying Dutchman pyjamas

Grilled Velocity

ENTRÉES

Paget’s Disease in trumped-up-charges. Cockle

One-up-jump-up-long-shot-kick-de-bucket (choice of vegetables)

Three of spades, five and dime. Fly past

Haddock rock lollipop jamboree

DESSERTS

Off your trolley

As far as I can remember, although French was never my first language.

We were into the Palaeocene niceties from the trolley when I broached once more the topic of particle physics.

‘How do you think the universe began?’ I asked Hugo Rune.

‘I have my personal convictions,’ replied the guru’s guru. ‘I expect them to be confirmed this very afternoon.’

‘And are you really expecting to find the missing scientist today?’

‘I am expecting to solve the case today, yes.’

‘I do not think that is the answer to my question. Would you be so kind as to pass that plate of Rosary Ink-Blot?’

‘Absolutely not.’ And Mr Rune drew the plate closer to himself. ‘But let me tell you this, Rizla, as it will save time later and might give you an insight into the case. I know precisely what field of endeavour Professor Campbell is working upon, because it was I who suggested it to him.’

And I now made groaning noises. Although not so loud as to draw unwanted attention to myself from the other diners. ‘I really should have guessed something of the sort. You always have a tendency towards inside knowledge, in regard to each case that we get involved in.’

‘Whatever are you suggesting, Rizla?’ And Hugo Rune reached over and snaffled away the last of my Paddock of Gonfalon.

‘Well, the reason that I rarely, if ever, am able to help you with your cases is that you always have some secret information regarding them that you neglect to mention.’

‘Outrageous,’ said Hugo Rune. ‘But there is perhaps an element of truth to it. Do you want that last piece of Dry Dock?’

‘Yes, I do,’ I said, and I snatched up same and rammed it into my mouth.

‘You greedy boy. But listen. I will give you a fair chance to solve this case. You know as much as I. The professor vanished from his cellar laboratory. The door was locked from the inside, his clothes were found strewn on the floor. He was to deliver an important paper to the Fellows of the Royal Society tonight, one that is clearly important to the War Effort. This much we know, do you agree?’

I nodded. But did not speak with my mouth full, because to have done so would have been rude.

‘Then let me tell you what I know and you do not. Regarding Professor Campbell’s line of research. The one that I suggested to him. In words of one or more syllables, the professor was searching for the God Particle.’

As I had swallowed, I now said, ‘The what?’ in a voice laced with surprise.

‘It is, in its way, a simple matter,’ said Mr Rune. ‘Although scientists always seek to overcomplicate, in order to make themselves seem clever and important. If God created the universe, Rizla, then what did he create it from?’

‘That is a question well beyond my mental means to answer,’ I replied.

‘But not mine. Because the answer is simplicity itself. If in the beginning there was God, then there was nothing but God. Because if in the beginning there was God and something else, then you really don’t need God at all because you have the beginnings of a universe in the something else. Are you following me here?’

‘I am,’ I said. ‘So far.’

‘Then bear with me on this, then. If in the beginning there was only God and God created the universe, He created it out of material that was available to Himself. And the only material that was available to Him was Him. God created the universe out of Himself.’

‘Assuming that you believe in the existence of God,’ I said.

‘Precisely,’ said Hugo Rune. ‘But even if you do not, if God did create the universe, it follows that there must be some scientific way of checking whether He did or not.’

‘And hence you had Professor Campbell seek the God Particle.’

‘Precisely once more. If, as the old line goes, “God is everywhere”, He is everywhere, because He is everything. He is inside everything. Inside on a subatomic level. The Particle within the particle within the particle. Now what do you think of that?’

‘I do not believe in God,’ I said, ‘so personally I do not think that Professor Campbell found this God Particle.’

‘So why did he vanish on the eve of reading his paper?’

‘Aha,’ I said. ‘Because he ran away rather than confess that he had failed in his quest.’

‘As an argument, that is not without its merits. But you are incorrect. However, we shall see what we shall see. Brandy and cigars now, do you think?’

I felt somewhat woolly at the edges. ‘I fear that I will fall asleep if we do,’ I said. ‘Perhaps I should take a little nap while you go on without me. You clearly have the case solved in your own mind, and I do not really think you will need me around.’

‘On the contrary, my dear Rizla. I wouldn’t want you to miss all the excitement.’

‘Oh,’ I said, ‘there is going to be some excitement, is there? So far it has mostly been eating and drinking and talking.’

‘Rizla,’ said Hugo Rune, in an admonitory fashion, ‘you had an exciting ride down in a lift to a secret subterranean Ministry, where you met one of the most powerful men in the world, who, I might add, has been reduced to doll-like proportions through the application of High Magick. And you are presently dining in one of the world’s top eateries. And yet you complain that the case so far lacks for excitement?’

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I suppose I have just got used to having my life put in danger every time I go out on a case with you.’

And then I heard a terrible sound.

‘And what is that terrible sound?’ I enquired.

‘That is the air-raid siren,’ said Hugo Rune, ‘which means that we are under attack from the skies. Does that suit you well for excitement?’