She turned to look. A husky young man, dark, with a helmet of greasy ringlets, a profile from a Roman coin. He wore an embroidered shirt unbuttoned to the waist. About his muscled neck were three gold chains. Ornate medallions swung against the thick mat of hair on his chest.
He had a musky scent of something so cloying that she almost gagged. His teeth were chipped, and he needed a shave. There were wet stains on the shirt beneath his armpits.
He doesn't care, she had thought suddenly. He just doesn't care.
She admired him for not caring.
She stayed at the bar, drinking the watery beer, and watched the strange world swirl about her. She felt that she had strayed into a circus. Everyone was a performer except her.
She had seen that most of the women were not only younger than she, but prettier. With ripe, bursting bodies they flaunted without modesty.
Zoe saw blouses zipped down to reveal cleavage. Tanktops so tight that hard nipples poked out. Sheer shirts that revealed naked torsos. Jeans so snug that buttocks were clearly delineated, some bearing suggestive patches: smart ass. bottoms up. sex pot.
She had arrived at The Meet Market shortly after 11:30 p.m. The noise and crush were at their worst an hour later. Then, slowly, the place began to empty out. Contacts were made; couples disappeared. Still Zoe Kohler stood at the bar, drinking her flat beer, her face aching with her smile.
"Wassamatta, doll?" the dark young man said, at her elbow again. "Get stood up?"
He roared with laughter, putting his head back, his mouth wide. She saw his bad teeth, a coated tongue, a red tunnel.
He took another drink from the bartender, gulped down half of it without stopping. A rivulet of beer ran down his chin. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. He looked around at the emptying room.
"I missed the boat," he said to Zoe. "Always looking for something better. Know what I mean? Then I end up with Mother Five-fingers."
He laughed again, in her face. His breath smelled sour: beer, and something else. He clapped her on the shoulder.
"Where you from, doll?" he said.
"Manhattan," she said.
"Well, that's something," he said. "Last night I connected with a real doll, and she's from Queens and wants to go to her place. My luck-right? No way am I going to Queens. North of Thirty-fourth and south of Ninety-sixth: that's my motto. I live practically around the corner."
"So?" she said archly.
"So let's go," he said. "Beggars can't be choosers."
She had never decided if he meant her or himself.
He lived in a dreadful one-room apartment in a tenement on 85th Street, off Second Avenue. The moment they were inside, he said, "Gotta piss," and dashed for the bathroom.
He left the door open. She heard the sound of his stream splashing into the bowl. She put her palms over her ears and wondered dully why she did not run.
He came out, stripping off his shirt, and then stepping out of his jeans. He was wearing a stained bikini no larger than a jockstrap. She could not take her eyes from the bulge.
"I got half a joint," he said, then saw where she was looking. He laughed. "Not here," he said, pointing. "I mean good grass. Wanna share?"
"No, thank you," she said primly. "But you go right ahead."
He found the butt in a dresser drawer, lighted up, inhaled deeply. His eyelids lowered.
"Manna from Heaven," he said slowly. "You know what manna is, doll?"
"A food," she said. "From the Bible."
"Right on," he said lazily. "But they didn't call it womanna, did they? Manna. You give good head, doll?"
"I don't know," she said truthfully, not understanding.
"Sure you do," he said. "All you old, hungry dames do. And if you don't know how, I'll teach you. But that comes later. Let's get with it. Off with the uniform, doll."
It was more of a cot than a bed, the thin mattress lumpy, sheet torn and blotched. He would not let her turn off the light. So she saw him, saw herself, could only block out what was happening by closing her eyes. But that was not enough.
He smelled of sweat and the awful, musky scent he was wearing. And he was so hairy, so hairy. He wore a singlet of black wire wool that covered chest, shoulders, arms, back, legs. His groin was a tangle. But his buttocks were satiny. "Oh," she had cried out. "Oh, oh, oh."
"Good, huh?" he said, grunting with his effort. "You like this… and this… and this? Oh God!"
Moaning, just as Maddie Kurnitz had advised. And Remedial I Moaning. Zoe Kohler did as she had been told. Going through the motions. Threshing about. Digging nails into his meaty shoulders. Pulling his hair.
"So good!" she kept crying. "So good!" Wondering if she had remembered to turn off the gas range before she left her apartment.
Then, as he kept pumping, and she heaved up to meet him, she recalled her ex-husband Kenneth and his fury at her mechanical response.
"You're just not there!" he had complained.
Finally, finally, the hairy thing lying atop her and punishing her with its weight, finished with a sob, and almost immediately rolled away.
He lighted the toke again, a roach now that he impaled on a thin wire.
"That was something," he said. "Wasn't that something?"
"The best I've ever had," she recited.
"You made it?"
"Of course," she lied. "Twice."
"What else?" he said, smiling complacently. "Haven't had any complaints yet."
"I've got to go," she said, sitting up.
"Oh no," he said, pushing her back down. "Not yet. We've got some unfinished business."
Something in his tone frightened her. Not menace; he was not threatening her. It was the brute confidence.
Kenneth had suggested it once, but she had refused. Now she could not refuse. He clamped her head between his strong hands and guided her mouth.
"Now you're getting it," he instructed her. "Up. Down. That's it. Around. Right there. The tongue. It's all in knowing how, doll. Take it easy with the teeth."
Later, on her way home in a cab, she had realized that she didn't even know his name and he didn't know hers. That was some comfort.
"More wine?" she asked Ernest Mittle. "Your glass is empty."
"Sure," he said, smiling. "Thank you. We might as well finish the bottle. I'm really enjoying this."
She rose, staggered just briefly, giddy from the memory, not the wine. She brought more ice cubes from the kitchen.
They sat at their ease. Remarkably alike. Mirror images. With their watery coloring, pinched frames, their soft, wistful vulnerability, they could have been brother and sister.
"This is better than standing on line to see a movie," he said. "It was probably no good anyway."
"Or going to some crowded party," she said. "Everyone getting drunk as fast as they can-like at Maddie's."
"I suppose you go out a lot?"
"I really do prefer a quiet evening at home," she said. "Like this."
"Oh yes," he agreed eagerly. "One gets tired of running around. I know I do."
They stared at each other, blank-eyed liars. He broke first.
"Actually," he said in a very low voice, "I don't go out all that much. Very rarely, in fact."
"To tell you the truth," she said, not looking at him, "I don't either. I'm alone most of the time."
He looked up, intent. He hunched forward.
"That's why I enjoy seeing you, Zoe," he said. "I can talk to you. When I do go to a party or bar, everyone seems to shout. People don't talk to each other anymore. I mean about important things."
"That's very true," she said. "Everyone seems to shout. And no one has good manners either. No common courtesy."
"Yes!" he said excitedly. "Right! Exactly the way I feel. If you try to be gentle, everyone thinks you're dumb. It's all push, rush, shove, walk over anyone who gets in your way. I, for one, think it's disgusting."