When many winds strive together, then the waves of the sea have not a free course…
– Leonardo da Vinci, Codex Atlanticus
At her cry, the other apprentices stepped away from me, so that I was left standing in the center of the ring that they formed. Miserably, I glanced from face to face. Some stared back at me with wary expressions; others wore looks of outraged disbelief. Vittorio was gaping in openmouthed astonishment, while Davide merely gave his head a gentle shake, his expression one of private vindication.
Bernardo was the first to speak up.
“You mean that Dino is truly a girl?” he squeaked, curls bobbing and cheeks flushing as he pointed at me. “But it can’t be. A girl cannot paint!”
By way of response, my mother tossed aside her cloak and shoved through the ring of stunned young men. Her dark blue skirts swishing like an angry feline’s lashing tail, she advanced on me and seized me by the arm.
“Yes, Delfina is a girl,” she declared in outrage, “though one would hardly know it, to look at her. Of course, this is all her father’s fault, allowing her to run away from a perfectly fine marriage.”
Her fiery gaze promptly landed upon my father.
“You thought you could fool me, Angelo, pretending you had no idea where our daughter had gone,” she cried as he gazed miserably down at his feet. “I found the missives she sent you, and I guessed that you had a particular reason for accepting a commission in Milan. That is why I followed you here, to see if my suspicions were correct. But I never expected this!”
Taking in my disheveled appearance from head to foot, she went on in a heated tone. “I could not believe my eyes, at first, that one of those boys was in truth my own daughter. And before I could confront her, you and she disappeared. I had no choice but to pay for a squalid room in town and wait until the guard I bribed brought me word that you had returned.
“I don’t know what the greater scandal is,” she went on, barely pausing to draw breath, “the clothes she is wearing or the fact all of you were too blind to see the truth. And what is this?” she demanded and gestured at my bandages. “Have you injured yourself?”
“It is of no account,” I replied, pulling my arm from her grasp and drawing myself up with as much dignity as I could muster. “I was shot with a crossbow and hurt my head when I crashed the Master’s flying machine. And do not blame my fellows for my deception, for I took every care to keep them from learning the truth.”
“Pah, and what of Signor Leonardo?” she countered with a derisive gesture in his direction, more concerned with that question than my litany of wounds. “Surely a man who has spent years painting both men and women must know a female when he sees one.”
I had opened my mouth to defend Leonardo, when his gaze abruptly met mine. Instead of surprise, I saw in his dark eyes a glimmer of wry knowledge. Stunned, I clamped my lips shut again and felt the blood drain from my face.
It cannot be, I thought, sending him a pleading look in return. But rather than deny the accusation, he gave me the faintest of nods. I felt my insides plummet, as they had when the flying machine had fi rst leaped into nothingness.
Saints’ blood, he knows… likely has always known!
I shut my eyes against the sudden tears that threatened. I had been the blind one, not he. All these many months I had thought myself so clever, so careful, and yet in the end I had not deceived him. But knowing the truth, why had he allowed my dangerous masquerade, when its discovery would have brought equal censure down upon him?
Swept up as I was in my own misery, I barely heard him snap a command to my fellows.
“Draftsmen, take the canvases you just stacked, and carry them back outside. Use your blades to scrape every bit of paint from them, so that they look new again. And when they look new, scrape them yet again.”
His expression far sterner than I’d ever seen it, he added, “And before you go, I will have the vow of each one of you that no whisper of what you have witnessed will go beyond the workshop doors.”
“I swear I shall say nothing, Master,” Davide promptly spoke up, hand on his heart as he gave me an encouraging nod. The other apprentices made their promises, as well… some grudging, and others rueful, but all were in accord.
The Master acknowledged their words with a satisfied nod. “Very well, be off. But keep in mind that your vow is to bind you for all time. Any transgressor will be found out and dismissed from his apprenticeship, and every master in the province warned that he is not to be trusted.”
The severity of his threat was sufficient to gain their silence, had any of them been inclined to gossip. Spurred on by Davide, they grabbed up their knives and canvases and filed out of the workshop. At that, Leonardo turned to me.
“Your parents and I have much to discuss,” he said, his tone surprisingly mild, given all that had happened. “Perhaps you will be good enough to retrieve Pio from the stable-boy and bring him back to my quarters.”
Before I could reply, my mother shot him a baleful look.
“How dare you order my daughter about, Signor Leonardo! You are fortunate that I do not demand an audience with the duke himself to reveal the nature of your perfidy. In fact, I have a mind to-”
“Silence!”
The outraged command that cut her off came not from Leonardo but from my father. His mild features suffused with anger, he strode to where my mother and I stood.
“You forget that Delfina is my daughter, and that her welfare is my responsibility,” he clipped out, wagging a finger in her face. “Signor Leonardo and I have a few matters to discuss concerning her. You may remain here and listen to what is said, on the condition that you conduct yourself as an obedient wife and hold your peace. Delfina shall go after the dog, as her master ordered.”
For a moment, I thought my mother would rail back at him. To my surprise, however, she gave a grudging nod.
“Very well, Angelo, I shall leave the matter to you. But perhaps you will have her put on my cloak so that she is not parading about the grounds half-naked.”
I looked to my father, who nodded that I should comply. Grateful for his intercession, I made no protest but grabbed up the cloak and flung it about my shoulders before limping off toward the stables.
What was said between the Master and my father, I never knew for certain. I had no doubt, however, that the days of my apprenticeship were at an end. Even if my father had agreed that I might remain behind at Castle Sforza, I knew the Master would not allow it. With the truth about me revealed to the entire workshop, the likelihood of discovery by the duke was far too great, so that neither Leonardo nor I could take that risk.
By the time I had shed a few hot tears over my plight and returned from the stables with the boisterous Pio in my arms, my parents were waiting for me outside the Master’s quarters. I gave the small hound a final kiss and opened the door, smiling mistily as I watched him trot over to Leonardo’s bed. With his usual long-legged grace, he leaped atop it and curled upon the pillow, settling in with a pink-tongued yawn for canine dreams. Gently closing the door after him, I turned to my father.
“Will I be allowed to retrieve my things and make my good-byes to my friends?”
“Certainly,” he said with a kind nod. “We shall return on the morrow, and you will have a chance to bid them farewell.”
“And Master Leonardo, may I see him once more? I-I still owe him an apology.”
I heard my mother’s genteel snort, but my father gave me a small smile. “Of course, you shall see him tomorrow, as well. He is anxious to speak with you a final time.”
Unlike me, my mother had not traveled to Milan on foot; instead, she had made her journey in a small cart she had borrowed from one of my father’s friends. The cart awaited us outside the workshop. A small mercy, I told myself, for my leg still ached from the bolt’s angry blades. My father helped us into it, and we drove in silence toward the castle’s main gate.