Inventory taken, she unpacked her clothes and put them away. Undressing, she tried on each of the swimming suits she’d brought, twisting and turning in the floor-to-ceiling mirrors in the alcove, just outside the bath. She’d almost decided on the black one, a classic maillot that didn’t show too much cheek, when she changed her mind, opting instead for a lemon-yellow bikini. It’s not like I have anything to hide, she thought, slipping into a pair of leather sandals.
Crossing the living room, she went out to the balcony and stood at the railing overlooking the beach. Directly below was the patio-pool complex, with its Jacuzzi and swim-up bar, beach umbrellas and tables. Between the pool and the Gulf, a line of palm trees thrashed in the wind while out to sea the water’s surface shimmered and flashed.
Standing there, she could feel the pills kicking in, softening the air at the edge of her skin. Leaning out over the railing, hands at her sides, she remembered—vaguely—that she was afraid of heights. But, not now. Now, there was nothing. She might as well be standing in her own living room.
On the beach below, attendants were methodically folding and stacking a row of bright blue cabanas that belonged to the resort. Nico gazed, mesmerized, at the patterning and repatterning of the surf, the lacy white foam curling and uncurling with a muffled roar. Every so often, a child’s voice floated up to her, squealing from the pool.
Returning inside, she removed her laptop computer from its leather case, and set it down beside the telephone on the table in the living room. Using an RJ-11 jack, she connected the computer to the phone, adjusted the monitor to cut the glare, and pushed the On switch. It took about a minute for the CPU to go through its routine. When it was done, she clicked on the AOL logo, and waited yet again. Finally, there was the familiar rush of noise and bleat of horns, the farcical handshake of the modem exchanging protocols with the server. And then she was on.
You’ve got mail!
Out of habit, she clicked on the mailbox to see who it was.
10-7 Adrienne Where are ya, Nikki!?
Little sister.
Ignoring the message, she went to the Internet connection, and in the box for the Web address, typed www.theprogram.org and waited.
A moment later, Web Site Found appeared in a box in the lower left-hand corner of the screen. And then
Transferring document
1% 2% 12% 33%
Why did it take so long?
Opening Page
And then: a nearly blank screen with its oh-so-familiar, black-on-white inscription.
Unknown Host
Description:
Could not resolve the host:
“www.theprogram.org” in the URL
“http://www.theprogram.org/”.
Traffic Server version 1.1.7
Reaching into the computer’s carrying case, she took out a transparent plastic overlay, and fitted it over the monitor’s screen—whose size it duplicated perfectly. A calendar of sorts, the overlay had two axes—a vertical one, divided into twelfths, and a horizontal axis with thirty-one gradations. Together, they created a grid with 372 boxes, one for every day of the year, with seven left over. Using her mouse, Nico slid the cursor over to the box that corresponded to that day’s date (October 7th), clicked, and moved on to a second box, the one that corresponded to her birthday (February 11th). And clicked again. Instantly, a tiny hourglass appeared, floating behind the overlay, which Nico then removed.
It always took a minute for the site to load. She watched the blue bar crawl across the page and then she was on:
Hello, Nico
The cursor blinked beneath the greeting, awaiting her instructions. Taking a deep breath, she touched Ctrl-F5, and—pictures and words and… something else, a sound she couldn’t quite hear, but felt. Pictures and words, scrolling and flipping, moving so fast you wouldn’t believe she could take it all in. But she did. She sat there in the room, unmoving, eyes bright with the turmoil on the monitor.
She had been at the resort for three nights, and he still hadn’t shown. Each evening, she went down to the beach and waited for him, just to get a look—but he was never there. And the pills were beginning to get to her. If she took them for too many days running, she started to…
What?
Lose track of herself.
That was the only way to put it. There were long periods of time when… there was nothing. And then, quite suddenly, she’d be herself again—except at a distance, always at a distance, as if her identity were a phantom limb. You wouldn’t think a little pill could grab you like that, but—
Not to worry. They said he’d be here, and they were always right. It was just a matter of time.
She glanced at her watch (it was 7:15), then looked out the window to where the sky had just begun to blush. Her fourth sunset.
Grabbing a towel, she took the elevator to the ground floor, and walked through the pool area toward the little boardwalk that led to the beach.
It wasn’t exactly the season yet, only the beginning of October, so there weren’t that many people around. A couple of kids in the pool, attacking each other with what looked like big, Styrofoam noodles. Mom on a chaise lounge, reading, and over there, two oiled, teenaged girls lying on their stomachs, bikini tops undone. Nico thought maybe they were asleep because, really, there wasn’t much sun left to bathe in. The area around the pool was already in shadow, the underwater lights glowing eerily. Lamps were beginning to flicker on the periphery of the terrace. The attendant who sold hats and sunglasses, sand toys and sunscreen was busy putting away things at his little stand, closing up for the night. As Nico walked past, a fiftyish woman in a purple bathing suit lowered herself carefully into the Jacuzzi beside the pool, her mouth releasing a soft Ooof of pleasure.
The beach was even less crowded. Most people seemed to be at dinner, or dressing for dinner.
And then she saw him—
An old man, sitting in a wheelchair at the end of the boardwalk, where it broadened into a platform above a flight of steps leading down to the sand. He had a shawl over his shoulders, and his eyes were fixed on the reddening horizon. Nearby, the old man’s dreadlocked Jamaican caretaker leaned on a railing, listening raptly to the music blasting through the earphones of his Walkman. Reggae, Nico thought, catching the rhythm as she passed, the sound a remote, tinny whine.
There was no one else, really. Apart from the Jamaican and the old man, the only other people in sight were a lone jogger, running in the wet sand along the surf line—and a couple, walking with their heads down, looking for shells.
And that was it. Everybody else was… somewhere else. Which left Nico with Nico, one on one, watching her towel fall to the sand as she waded into the warm Gulf waters. In front of her, the sun seemed balanced on the horizon’s dark rim, turning the sky the color of a million postcards.
She’s in heaven, Nico thought, watching herself move through the water. Which was shallow here, no more than knee-deep for upwards of a mile offshore. Wading farther and farther out to sea, she could see herself dwindling in the old man’s eyes. Finally, she slowed, stopped, and sank to her knees. Leaning back on her arms, she luxuriated in the warm bath of the Gulf, listening to the cry of gulls wheeling overhead. She remained this way for what seemed a long time, eyes shut, face turned toward the sky. Then she pivoted on her left arm, and spun to her feet in a single move that would have been startling if anyone other than she had seen it.
Slogging back to the beach, she picked up her towel and climbed the steps to the little boardwalk. As she passed the old man, she gave him a shy smile and a meek “hello,” and kept on going. The Jamaican didn’t even notice. He was up to his ears in Bob Marley, eyes closed, shoulders swaying, quietly singing the words