I held up a hand. “Enough. We can fight about those later. Tell me about the baby.”

And like that, Kiyo’s face completely transformed. Joy and wonder of such purity filled his features that it was amazing to behold. I’d hardly ever seen him look like that-no, scratch that. I might have never seen him look like that.

“Oh, Eugenie. She’s so beautiful. So perfect. I never…she’s like nothing I ever could have imagined.”

Something sank in the pit of my stomach, something cold and leaden. I almost wished he’d get angry again so that my own fury would return. Anger was warmer than sadness.

Forcing a smile, I reached for his hand. “I’m so happy for you,” I said. “I’d love to see her. What’s her name?”

“Luisa.”

He said the name like a prayer, like a magic word that could fix all the world’s ills. I’d heard him say my name like that too, often in the midst of sex. Obviously, his attitudes toward the two of us were a bit different, but the intensity of his love was similar.

“It’s a pretty name,” I said, still trying to smile. A moment of uneasy silence fell. “Ready to go?”

I was growing better at convincing Rurik to let me leave without an escort, and Kiyo and I were able to make good time to the Willow Land. I rode on horseback, and he ran alongside in fox form, able to easily match my pace. While this wasn’t an official state visit, I’d grumblingly put on a gentry dress in recognition of my queenly status. It was a simple one, pale blue with cap sleeves and light material. It actually had kind of a Jane Austen feel. The worst part was that since I refused to ride sidesaddle or anything ridiculous like that, the skirt rode up on my legs. With only Kiyo to see me, it didn’t matter too much, and he certainly didn’t mind.

Along the way, we passed another village in my kingdom, one I had yet to visit. I recognized it from Shaya’s descriptions. I was pretty sure it was one of the ones with copper ore. Near its outskirts, I could see people working and digging. I made a mental note to stop on the way back-if the Otherworld didn’t decide to send me through a different route.

Kiyo’s fox form meant we didn’t have to make any conversation. Spring was progressing rapidly in the Willow Land when we arrived. In fact, it had come much more quickly than I would have expected based on my last visit. There was no snow, and buds were bursting on the trees. The air was warm and picnic-perfect, with crocuses, daffodils, and other spring bulbs sprouting in brightly colored clusters. I was startled at the change until I remembered how the Otherworldly kingdoms were tied to their monarchs. I could pour my energy into the land and help heal it. Dorian kept the Oak Land in a perpetual state of autumn because it brought on memories of his youth that made him feel good and strong. If Maiwenn had just given birth, wouldn’t her land reflect that burst of new life?

Kiyo shifted back to human shape as we approached the castle’s main gates. Those guarding it gave me curious looks but welcomed him with cheers and genuine affection. Indeed, the happy energy was palpable as we walked the halls. Everyone in Maiwenn’s hold acted as though they were on their way to a party. Smiles shone on everyone’s faces.

Kiyo required no escort or guide as he led us swiftly through the halls, up a few flights of stairs, and into Maiwenn’s bedroom. As soon as we entered, I decided I might need to have a talk with Shaya about redecorating. The bedroom I’d inherited from Aeson was that of a medieval warlord, with blocky furniture, few windows, and everything-from the thick stone walls to the bedding-in dark, somber colors. Maiwenn’s room was light and airy, ringed in windows and filled with exquisite, delicate-looking birch furniture. The sheets on her bed were lavender silk, and gauzy material hung from the canopy. It looked like a room befitting a fairy princess-er, queen.

“Eugenie,” she said, smiling. She was sitting in bed with pillows propped behind her. “I was hoping you’d come.”

Were you? I wondered. A day after having a baby, she looked as gorgeous as usual, her golden hair cascading over a soft pink nightgown. A delicate crown of pearls, even in bed, adorned that luxurious hair, and I pettily thought again about my alleged need for a crown. Kiyo claimed it would send the wrong message, but I suddenly kind of wanted one. A small bundle was in Maiwenn’s arms, but mostly all I could see of Luisa was a lacy white cap and a shock of black hair.

I smiled back and approached tentatively. Had I treated this visit too casually? Should I have dressed up even more than I had and come bearing gold and frankincense? “Congratulations. You must be so happy.”

Maiwenn’s smile became even more radiant. She met Kiyo’s eyes, and something passed between them-not romantic, exactly, but a strong emotion I wasn’t privy to. Maiwenn carefully lifted her blanket-wrapped bundle, and he took it from her with equal gentleness.

“See?” he said, coming to stand beside me. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

Beautiful wasn’t quite the word I would have used, though Luisa was definitely cute-which was a relief. I’d met people with ugly babies, and in those situations, you almost always had to lie and say the baby was cute. No need for lies now. Luisa was adorable-which was no surprise with her parentage-and indeed, it was obvious whose genes she’d gotten the bulk of. With her black hair and tanned skin, Luisa was clearly her father’s daughter.

“Here,” he said, handing her to me before I could stop him.

I hadn’t held many babies before, and I took her awkwardly, one arm supporting the length of her body while the other supported her head. She was warm, nearly round with all those blankets, and shifted ever so slightly as she slept. Everything about her was tiny-tiny nose, tiny fingers, tiny eyelashes. A weird feeling built up at the back of my throat, and I remembered my conversation with Dorian. My hips would forever stay slim. My body would never create anything like this. When Luisa briefly opened her eyes to look at me-they were dark blue, no doubt to become brown-I handed her back to her father.

Kiyo took her happily, still wearing that wondrous look on his face, and sat on the edge of the bed. He placed Luisa in Maiwenn’s arms, and while there was no more touching than such an act required, I again had that sense of connection between them all. An intangible bond that would keep them together forever.

I wanted to leave after that. I wanted to run from this place and never come back. But, I had to stay because Kiyo wanted me to be a part of this and because it was the polite thing to do for Maiwenn. So I kept that smile frozen on my face and made small talk that I barely heard, like whether Luisa would inherit any kitsune abilities and when Maiwenn should host the celebration of her birth.

At long last, Kiyo said we had to go, and I could tell he only did so for my sake. If he’d had his way, he would have stayed all night. I told Maiwenn congratulations again and assured her of my happiness and the baby’s cuteness and a dozen other things new mothers like to hear. Kiyo was full of smiles too, but as soon as we left the room, his faded.

“Was it really that awful?” he asked.

I did a double-take. “What are you talking about? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, Eugenie. You were perfect. Everything was perfect. I don’t think Maiwenn noticed a thing-but then, she’s pretty distracted.” He sighed. “But I know you. I can see you’re upset. Are you really still that worried about Maiwenn and me getting back together?”

Maiwenn and him? How could I explain that what I felt went beyond simple jealousy? It wasn’t just that I feared the birth of this baby might bring them together-and that was a legitimate fear of mine-but Luisa’s birth impacted me in so many other ways too. I thought about Kiyo and how much I loved him and wanted as strong a relationship as we could have-but that no matter what happened with us, we could never have a family like that. I worried again if he might cast me aside for my inadequacies. And while I was still a long way from being baby crazy or hearing my biological clock, how awful was it going to be if someday I did want a baby and couldn’t have one? Or what if-God help me-I did have a baby through some accident? I could never love it, not with that prophecy hanging over my head….