So I nodded in acknowledgment to the elemental and felt one of the tears leak out of my eye as I did.

“Good.” He exhaled, and I realized he was as scared of me as I was of him. “Now. Undress.”

Bile rose in my throat. I couldn’t get enough oxygen again; it was like the air was thick and heavy around me. Another tear stole from my eye, and I slowly pulled down the pajama pants, removing the gun I hadn’t been able to use. It occurred to me briefly that I could probably manage to shoot the elemental right now, but I wouldn’t be fast enough to save my mother.

What did it matter? If he was telling the truth, I would still live if I could only endure this. I was on the pill. I probably wouldn’t actually get pregnant. I’d only have to lay there passively while this big anthropomorphic pile of dirt had his way with me. Things could be worse. Probably.

I looked at him, imagining those hands on me. The air grew thicker to me, making it still harder to breathe. The lighting seemed darker, as it had when the spirit choked me, and I wondered if I was going to faint. Maybe it’d be easier that way. Less to remember.

“The rest,” he said impatiently. He too was breathing heavily.

I moved my fingers to the edges of my underwear. I had dressed for comfort in plain, gray cotton bikini-cuts. They were nice but not sexy. They didn’t match the pink top. Of course, it didn’t matter to the elemental what I wore. Naked desire glowed on his face. I stared at the lumpy, misshapen body and worked hard not to whimper. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to. Oh, God. Oh, Selene. I didn’t want him to touch me. I didn’t want him pressed up against me. Nausea rolled up in my stomach, and I wondered desperately where Kiyo was. I knew he couldn’t follow me 24/7, and I suddenly regretted my snide comments about his protection. I wished he were here now. I needed him. I’d never felt so defenseless in my life, not even in that long-lost memory. It was not a state of mind I liked.

As I was about to pull the panties down, a slap of wood on glass made all of us jump. The elemental jerked his head around, and I followed his gaze. The patio door was open, and the wind had blown in, knocking over a picture frame on my coffee table. It was a strong wind, one that kept blowing, scattering papers and other objects around. Yet, outside, the sunshine and azure skies of late spring reflected no such disturbance.

“What…?” began the elemental.

That sharp sound had sort of snapped me out of my anger and fear, and I was suddenly able to notice details more sharply. I could see everything with a new clarity. The air really was thick, the lighting truly darker. I hadn’t imagined those things. The angry wind rose and fell with my breathing. Brilliant light slashed the dimness, and we all cried out as it danced around from object to object. At the same time, a deafening roar of thunder filled the room, too big and too loud for the small space. I covered my ears and dropped to the floor.

The elemental turned on me. “Make it stop.”

“What…?”

“It’s yours! Stop, or you’ll kill us all.”

I looked around and realized he was right. I couldn’t explain it, but I was connected to everything going on in there. The building moisture and humidity. The wind whipping around, scattering things. The electricity charging the air.

I could feel it, but I didn’t know what to do with it. You’re mine, I tried telling it, but nothing happened. This was not like trying to control power with a wand or an athame. This was both within me and outside of me. I could no more stop it than I could stop myself from feeling joy or sorrow or hate.

The wind increased, its fury building. A jagged piece of glass flew into my cheek. “I can’t control it,” I whispered. “I can’t.”

The elemental looked panicked. So did the spirits. Whereas a moment ago I had felt weak and defenseless, their fear made mine go away. Their fear fed my anger, and I fed the building tempest. I couldn’t actually control the storm, but it was expanding out from me. Something else hit me in the shoulder, and moments later, I barely dodged a book flying toward my head.

I couldn’t control this. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know anything except that I wanted to live and I wanted my mother to live too.

Darkness swirled around us all as great billowing clouds filled the room. More lightning danced around, oblivious to where it traveled. The elemental was right. I would kill one of Lightning shot out at the spirit holding my mother, forcing her to fall to the ground. He screamed and screamed. It was the most horrible sound I’d ever heard. It was more than a death knell, more than a tortured cry. I covered my ears again, watching as he glowed blindingly bright, then went black, then was nothing.

The elemental backed away from me, fear palpably rolling off of him. A tingle along my skin told me what he was going to do. He was so scared, he was going to try to cross back to the Otherworld. Right here, right now, with no crossroads. Doing so had nearly ripped me apart. There was no way he could do it, not when he couldn’t even transition to this world in his natural form.

He didn’t seem to care, however, and suddenly I panicked. What if he could? What if by some miracle he escaped? I couldn’t let him get away, not after what he’d done here, not after what he’d tried to do. My need, my anxiety…both grew, but I had no way to focus them. I had no idea what had happened to my weapons in this madness. A bolt of lighting blew apart a speaker beside me, and the sound made that ear go deaf.

More lightning flared, so strongly and rapidly that I couldn’t tell what was real and what was an afterimage. Somewhere, over the thunder, I heard the elemental screaming, although I could no longer see him. It wasn’t as horrible as the spirit’s cries had been, but it still made my skin crawl. Lightning hit something else beside me, and sharp pieces of whatever it was flew into my arm.

I was going to die, I realized. With the spirit. With the elemental. With my mother. Who would have thought the spirits I’d just banished to the Otherworld would be the lucky ones?

I buried my face in my hands, trying to block out what I’d created. It didn’t help. It was almost like the lightning and clouds existed in my mind as much as in the room. I squeezed my eyes tighter, so much so that they hurt. But nothing changed. The wind roared against me, the thunder shook my house. Dominating it all was the darkness-and the light-as the thunder and lightning came and went.

Darkness, light.

Darkness, light.

Darkness.

I don’t care how old you get or how tough you are. Nothing, nothing at all, can ever replace your mother taking care of you when you’re sick.

The feel of a cool, wet cloth touched my head, and the sound of familiar humming just barely penetrated my weary brain. I opened my eyes and saw the same funny-shaped pieces of sunlight cast through my blinds onto the bedroom ceiling. Only this time, their positions had changed, their colors dimmer and darker orange.

The humming abruptly stopped.

“Eugenie?”

“Mom,” I croaked. My throat felt torn and raw.

She moved into my field of vision, face drawn with worry. I couldn’t believe it. She looked almost entirely normal. Her hair had a bit of a wind-swept look, and I could see a few bruises. Other than that, she seemed fine, not like she’d just endured a paranormal attack and subsequent magically induced maelstrom. For just a moment, I questioned my own memories. Had I imagined what happened? Had it been a trick or a vision? No. I felt like shit. No delusion could have caused this pain.

“You’re okay?” I asked doubtfully.

She nodded. “Fine. What about you?”

I tentatively attempted to make contact with the muscles in my body. They told me to leave them the fuck alone.