“I think a celebration is in order.” He poured another glass of wine and handed it over. We clinked our glasses together. “To clever pupils.”

“With good teachers.”

He took a sip. “Hardly. I actually slept most of tonight.”

I laughed as I drank. “Do you…when you use your magic, do you feel something…I don’t know, something good burning in you? Like pleasure or exhilaration…and not just from, like, mental satisfaction either…”

I couldn’t put it into words, but his face told me I didn’t have to. “Yes. I know exactly what you mean. Wonderful, isn’t it?”

I drank more of the wine. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Just wait. You’ve just had a sip of it. Once you come into your full power, you won’t know how you did without.”

I grinned at him. I felt so thoroughly pleased with myself and life, I could hardly stand it. When had I been this happy? Aside from being with Kiyo? And if I had this kind of reaction now, what would happen when I really moved into the big leagues? Dorian spoke of it like an addiction, but it sure sounded like a good one.

Looking up, I saw his eyes all over me. He set his glass down and spoke in a soft voice, almost wonderingly. “You shine…did you know that? Power suits you.”

He made me as happy as everything else in the world just then. Warmth built in my chest and radiated out through the rest of my body. I don’t know how that feeling expressed itself on my face, but it must have conveyed something because he leaned over and kissed me.

I could taste wine in that soft kiss, wine and heat. One of his hands pulled me against him while the other carefully removed my glass. Still pressing us together, he eased me onto the bed. I answered his sweet, taunting kisses with hard, demanding ones. It didn’t take him long to adjust to this shift in style. He rolled me to my back and lay down on top of me, twining one hand in my hair to hold my head in place as an eager need suddenly filled his kisses. He consumed my mouth with them while his other hand slid unabashedly between my thighs, rubbing me through my jeans.

My body arched up against his, and I felt an aching cry rise up in my throat, only to be lost in the pressure of his mouth on mine. I knew then it would finally happen. The dangerous allure of this…the exoticness of sleeping with someone who was still such an unknown quantity…it all enflamed me that much more. We would do this. We would come together, and I would give myself to him.

Give myself to him.

A tightness seized my chest, conflicting sharply with the burning pleasure in the rest of my body. His touch made me crave more, almost made me beg for it, and yet that angry part in the back of my mind was screaming again. It told me if I made this choice, if I deliberately chose to do this with him, then I was giving in to the enemy. I didn’t really know who that enemy was exactly, but it didn’t matter. The instinct pulsed through me, defensive and afraid. It warred against the rest of me, against my body’s needs and even against my own conscious wishes. I knew and liked Dorian. Why couldn’t I overcome that base fear? In some ways, the fear was titillating. I had a feeling if I could just get over that first crest of difficulty, the problems would go away.

But damn it, that was a high peak to get over.

And like last time, Dorian could feel my reluctance. He broke our embrace, almost jerking away from me. Before he turned his face from mine, I saw emotions I’d never seen before. Frustration. Unhappiness.

“Dorian…” I said. “Dorian…I’m so sorry…”

He rubbed his face with both hands and exhaled. His voice was flat when he spoke. “It’s late, Eugenie. Too late for you to leave.” He stood up and stretched, and when he finally turned around, he’d once more cleared his face of its dark expression. His cheerful countenance was also missing; he simply looked tired. “I’ll take the sofa in the parlor; you stay on the bed.”

“No, I-”

He gestured me off as he walked into the other room without a backward glance, saying only, “Take it. It’ll be the best night of sleep you’ve ever had.”

Elaborate French doors connected the two rooms. He closed them, leaving me to my own misery.

I sat on his massive bed, attempting to sort out a tangle of warring emotions. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I make this work? I’d slept with guys I liked a lot less than Dorian. Why couldn’t I cross this last line? Why keep fighting it?

I blew out all the candles and torches in the room before taking off my jeans and sliding under the covers. Dorian was right. This had to be the most comfortable bed I’d ever been in. Unfortunately, there was no way I could sleep. I kept thinking about my magical elation, alleged desire, and subsequent breakdown. My body wanted him. My mind did too. Only my instincts still fought it.

The world’s most comfortable bed must have felt insulted over all the tossing and turning that followed. At least its size gave me all the fidgeting room I could want. My eyes grew accustomed to the darkness very quickly, and I could discern the shapes of furniture and corners in the partial moonlight. Outside the giant window, stars glittered-thousands more than I’d seen the night with the astronomers. We’d lost the stars in the human world, despite our success in reaching them. Humans and gentry were almost like two sides of a coin, each supplying what the other lacked.

The answer to my problems with Dorian was a long time in coming, but come it did. It was still pitch black when I finally got up and padded into the adjoining room. The doors opened silently, and I paused upon reaching him. He couldn’t quite fit on the sofa, so his legs dangled off the end. He still wore the same clothes and had pulled a flimsy throw blanket over his body. He faced the direction I stood, eyes closed. One hand draped above him, and his hair spilled onto his cheek, its fiery color indiscernible in the poor lighting.

He was a king, with thousands of people who answered to him, yet he lay crammed onto this couch because of me. I had hurt someone I didn’t think could be hurt. I stood there thinking about this in the still, dark room before finally kneeling down beside him.

I tentatively reached out a hand, but his eyes opened before I made contact. “What’s the matter?” he asked. He sounded alert, concerned.

I couldn’t talk right away. Silence pooled as thick as the blackness around us. He neither spoke nor moved as I deliberated; he simply watched and waited.

“I want you to tie me up.”

That was the great thing about Dorian. Most people would have hesitated or asked questions. Not him. He followed me out to the other room and promptly retrieved the same sashes he’d used earlier in the chair.

I settled on the bed, unsure where to position my body, but he gently adjusted me. He started to extend my arms up over my head but then stopped. Moving his hands down to my stomach, he caught the edges of my shirt and gave me a questioning look. I nodded, and he carefully pulled it off and over my head. Returning to my arms, he raised them above me toward the headboard and tied my wrists together, still incapable of rushing his careful bindings. With the next sash, he bound my wrists to the intricate scalloping of the headboard and then used another to reinforce the binding. When he finished, my arms lay somewhat relaxed on the pillows above me, but my hands and wrists were tightly secured. Weirdly, something inside of me eased upon realizing I was trapped.

The length of the tying process surprised me. I would have thought he would want to expedite things, but his patience seemed undaunted. He settled back on his knees and studied me, just as he always did after completing one of his tie-ups. Near darkness or no, I felt exposed in just my underwear and wondered if it was my naked skin or the silk sashes that so captivated him. Probably the combination of both.