It took a moment, but Josie eventually returned to earth. That was the best fucking bedtime story Ive ever had in my life, she mumbled. When Rick didnt reply, she opened her eyes. He was sitting straight up, frowning. Then she heard it.

Is that somebody at our door? she whispered.

Rick groaned. Yeah, and I know exactly who it is.

Still reeling from having her fertile ground plowed, Josie watched the magnificently naked Rick Rousseau stride toward the door without a care.

He obviously didnt mind if the entire wine country population saw him naked, but Josie sure did, so she struggled to get under the covers.

He opened the door, none too graciously. Well, hurry it up then, he said impatiently. Get in here.

Three dusty dogs ran into the room. After a moment of excited sniffing, circling, and shaking, they sat at Ricks feet. Josie realized Ricks dogs were pretty cute when they werent running like hounds from hell.

These are the rules, he said in a stern voice. Josie watched as all the dogs eyebrows twitched, as though they were hanging on his every word.

No jumping up on the bed. Do not get on the couches. No drinking out of the toiletand Im talkin to you, Chenyour water bowl is in the usual spot.

Genghis had begun to inch closer to Ricks naked body, ready to sniff at the man parts on display. Dont you even /think/ about it, Rick growled.

He then pointed to a corner behind one of the sofa and table groupings.

All of you, lie down and leave us alone.

The dogs toddled over to the corner and collapsed next to each other, Tara sandwiched between the two bigger dogs, all three obviously exhausted from their play. Genghis yawned. He looked like hed lived there forever.

Josie was extremely impressed with Ricks take-charge attitude, and when he turned her way she smiled. I kind of like it when youre bossy, she said, wagging an eyebrow. She pulled back the coverlet and patted the sheets.

Rick got a running start, jumped, and flopped on his back on the bed.

Good, he said. Now where were we?

Rick lay awake in the darkness. Josie was dozing off, floating away on a postsex cloud, her soft thigh thrown over his hip and her head resting on his chest. Chen was snoring. The crickets and tree frogs performed their nightly concerto, a sure sign summer was just around the corner.

He stared at the ceiling and toyed with Josies curls. After about four hours of lovemaking, he was sated down to his bones, warm and loose and at peace. He felt a kind of childlike hope taking root in him, as if all things were possible and the next grand adventure lay just around the bend.

Of course, all this was because he was falling in love with Josiehe was falling in love with a woman for the very first time in his thirty-seven years on the planet. He might have been living in an emotional wasteland of late, but he was astute enough to know love when it hit from point-blank range.

And he could tell it was going to be a love so good and so big that it would make up for lost time.

He looked down at Josies face, innocent and sweet, and knew that she was falling in love, too. It was in her eyes when he was inside her. It was in the way she held him in her arms. Her love was a miracle.

But there was a reason he was lying there awake in the middle of the night. Something was very wrong. He knew he was misleading Josie. He owed her some information, and fast. He owed her a complete picture of who he was. Without it, he would be using her like hed used every other woman in his life. And he knew that if he ever did anything to hurt sweet Josie Sheehan, then everything would come crashing down around him.

If he hurt her, the sweat and tears and pain of the last seven years would become meaningless. The goodness hed managed to salvage from his life would disappear in a puff of smoke. There would be no balancing the scales. There would be no repair to his karma, or to the world. He would be right back to his old self, creating suffering and pain wherever he went.

Rick closed his eyes briefly. He knew there was only one path for him, in all things. Truth. He took a deep, steadying breath and, in the stillness of his heart, he asked the universe to give him courage.

Josie? Are you awake?

Hmmm, she said.

I need to talk to you.

Kay, she said in a sleepy voice. She kissed his chest hair and then began breathing deep and slow again.

Baby, Im sorry, but its important. Please wake up.

Im awake.

You sure?

Yeah. Josie pushed herself up and sat cross-legged on the bed, facing him, looking a little unsteady. A silly smile suddenly spread over her face. I was having the weirdest dream, she said, yawning. It was /The Best Little Whorehouse in Sonoma/the musicaland my friend Bea played the role of Madame Toulouse and Teeny was the sheriff, so, technically, that would make it a nightmare, right?

Rick laughed. Sounds like a real crowd-pleaser. He took a moment to simply gaze at her. Her hair was all jumbled. She was sleepy and cute and naked.

A lump formed in his throat.

Is something wrong, Rick?

He decided he needed light for this conversation, and reached over to the bedside lamp, turning it on to its lowest wattage. Nothings wrong, really. I just need to be completely clear with you about everythingI dont want there to ever be dishonesty or misunderstanding between us.

Josies eyes got big. Youre married.

No! Rick sat up, too, grabbing one of her hands. No, Josie. God, no!

Nothing like that. /But I wish it were that simple,/ he thought.

She frowned, then slowly slid her hand from his grasp, as if putting a buffer zone between them. Rick knew he needed to hurry and get this over with, because the truth might be better than what Josie was kicking up in her outrageous imagination.

I mentioned my wild days, when I traveled the world trying to find myself, right?

She nodded quickly, then brushed her curls away from her face. The way she sat, the way she held herself, he could tell she was bracing for bad news. She was so lovely there in the soft yellow lamplight. Josie was soft, curvy, beautiful. She was kind. She possessed a sunny, joyful spirit that shed generously shared with him. He could not damage that spirit.

I left out the details, he continued. I didnt know how to tell you about just how bad it really was. I still dontbut I know I have to.

Josie said nothing, but she nodded soberly, her eyes following the serpents twisted path up the front of his body.

When I got out of college, I was a pompous ass who didnt respect anyone or anythingI thought the world owed me. I treated women badly, and I mean spectacularly badly. I used them for sex and I manipulated them and I left them without a word of good-bye, all for sport.

Josie took a deep breath. Im familiar with the type.

I got into drugs, Josie. Coke and Ecstasy and psychedelics. Lot of pot.

I drank. I had access to what amounted to an unlimited trust fund, and I wasnt anywhere near mature enough to handle it. When I was twenty-eight, I ended up getting arrested for narcotics possession in Thailand, and would have spent the rest of my life in a rat-infested cell if it werent for my dads money and international connections. I have no doubt about that.

Josies eyes got big again, but this time they were brimming with fear.

Youd think that event would have scared some sense into me, but it didnt. I got back to the States and just kept doing the same shit here.

I was ruled by my egoI didnt want to hear anyone tell me that I was headed for disaster, but literally, I was on a collision course with it.

I have to stop you right here, Josie said, waving her hands above her head. She looked panicked. Whens the last time you were tested for HIV?

Even before shed asked, Rick knew thats where she was headed. It made perfect sense, considering the picture he was painting for her. Ive tested negative twice a year for more than seven years, ever since the accident. My last test was about two months ago. I know this is nothing to be proud of, but I did practice safe sex most of the time.